Sometimes you get high and start waxing idiotic about how The Simpsons is about the journey from Judaism ("Abraham" Simpson) to Hellenism ("Homer" Simpson) and then finally to Christianity ("Bartholomew" Simpson) and then someone tells you to shut the fuck up, and they’re right to do so.

good? that frees up housing for people who want to live in houses, not hold them for ransom

i'm making meat loaf and mashed potatoes for dinner and i realized i'm making a pre-chewed food

dads everywhere: 🙂‍↔️

I still don’t know what a “v tuber” is but it sounds like a vegetable so I’m iffy about it

what kind of day is it that I’ve gone the entire waking day until the afternoon without listening to any music at all? is that living? I’m not so sure

it’s almost the time of year during which Bluesky becomes split between people saying “sportsball!” and people getting really fucking annoyed by people saying “sportsball!”

this will keep happening until we rise up

1. It was not an accident. 2. It was not a staffer. 3. While the president may have dementia his racism is not due to dementia. 4. He isn’t sorry. He means every racist thought he shares. 5. His base agrees with him. 6. He will do it again. 7. No one in power will hold him accountable.

how about the smell of the books? the way they look? the weight of them in your hand? the sound of the pages being turned

I just got a phone call from Apria healthcare after I placed a refill order for cpap supplies. I expected there to be some reason to confirm details. it was an automated call saying they shipped my order and there’s nothing I need to do. THIS PHONE CALL COULD HAVE BEEN AN EMAIL

I rarely do this, but I’m hoping I maybe have enough of a following here that someone can help: I need to get in contact with Donkey Kong. It’s urgent

space heater? good luck with that

I miss the days when you could get a massive bowl of pho for like $6, or $9 if you got it with all of the meats available now it’s $19 for just the basic

I just had pho for lunch and it was such a big bowl that I could only eat half. two meals for the price of… well, two.

(explaining modern society) imagine being a tamagotchi but with anxiety and bills to pay

she’s not always a silly goose. sometimes she’s a calm goose

Luna says what’s up?

i can’t say what i think should happen to kirk but it rhymes with “schmet schmurdered”

Happy Friday. Please use this space to post mutual aid, fundraisers or if you are a creator accepting commissions. I will boost periodically through the entire weekend & repost the thread so people can look through it & find you as well.

this is why it’s naive to think the Epstein horrors ended when Epstein met his end. the rot goes through all of society.

Dick so soft it fall off the bone

Why Anthony Bourdain wouldn’t dine with Trump.

I had a dream that I helped cows (that could speak) build siege weapons to assault a castle it was so wacky. I remember after the siege was successful they were like “you’re one of us now, moo” and I ripped off my shirt and said “MOO” and we all said “MOOOOOOOOO”

A 2021 Amtrak survey found the ideal layout for a high-speed rail network across the United States. It would be relatively cheap to build and would intersect every major center of commerce:

Report and block this account. CSAM. Also SEVERAL of my mutuals are following some of the 56 disgusting fucks that follow this account. (None of you follow this, just it's followers)

Jimmy Beat Girl

it's hard to overstate how much rich freaks like him want civilization to collapse, so they can buy it all up and literally own everything so many people will die and it still won't satisfy their greed

it’s all downhill from here!

Elon not being happy despite having all the money is like someone losing at a game in tutorial mode, which he also does

he should [redacted] himself on live television

genocidal colonialism is in fact thievery of land, regardless of what the pro-genocide billionaire class wants you to think.

I’m gonna need my todo/reminder app to stop screaming at me

I love how well Microsoft products work /s dragging and dropping an event in the calendar should simply set the event to the new time. instead it makes outlook hard crash

you should be allowed to smoke a little bit of weed at work

my finger when i use cheap toilet paper

the duality of m̷a̷n̷ orange

“90s kid” used to mean someone who was a kid in the 90s. someone used it to describe themselves and they were born in 1998. that feels like a stretch to me I’m not into gatekeeping but come on

I showered, thus, I am alive

people always what is a woman? but no one ever asks how is a woman?

the most violent thing my phone has ever done is tell me how much sleep I’m (not) gonna get when I set my alarm.

gen AI is fascism

I discovered that if you type out a post on iOS and it’s suggesting a word for you, but you don’t accept the word and hit post, the post will contain the word that’s annoying lmao an Apple problem not a bsky problem though

there are TWO paperclip emojis and ZERO sweater emojis this is madness

they don’t have a sweater emoji? what the fuck are we doing

me calculating the best place to throw my sweater on the floor of my office so it doesn’t: - land on top of my heater - land on top of my air purifier - land on the spider web of cables and wires - land in my trash can maybe I should hang it up like a responsible adult? nah fuck that. YEET

alright i’m at 7k, here it goes: we all exist within a giant cosmic pussy