I’m very on board

TIL that people genuinely, sincerely believe the rapture is going to happen tomorrow. I thought it was a collective joke. oh no 😬

if the afterlife is real (according to christians) then charlie kirk is currently shrieking in pain and terror in hell while nick drake is sitting in heaven saying “ah cool, my music eventually did have a cultural impact”

I checked out the current missing persons list for my county and uh, it’s sad as shit. a guy who has been missing since 1982. girls missing since 2016 who were teens but in their 20s now. several previously unhoused people who were housed for a short time. my heart hurts for them and their families.

SCOOP — Part of the reason Disney/ABC may have rushed to sort things out with Kimmel is because tomorrow they have a planned price increase for Disney+ streaming, a Disney source tells me. With subscriptions hemorrhaging since last week, they couldn’t risk losing more users with this announcement.

me telling my grandkids what it was like to have vaccines

enough about jimmy kimmel i want to hear about kimmy jimmel

my body likes to need to take a shit literally minutes before a block of meetings at work smh

dang I got $33 from a Facebook settlement that I forgot I signed up for

experiment results: eating half of a frozen (cooked) pizza in <3 minutes makes tummy hort the results are pretty conclusive but I’ll need to repeat the experiment again to be sure

make sure you sin a bunch tonight to make sure you don’t get scooped up with all the nerds tomorrow

me, sexting:

days without confusing Grindr for an Italian sandwich ordering app: __0__

i am not going to smother my child. since i am a dad i believe it is called sfathering

wait, tylenol made me autistic? I thought it was my huge dick

why is charlie serving cryptid

“history doesn’t repeat itself, but it rhymes” - mark twain

kirk’s work (harassing professors who teach factual information) is being continued by his fanatical supporters

they should invent a brushing teeth in the morning that survives through coffee

This looks pretty good! And very relatable to those who have experienced boot camp. The line “we’ve only been here one day!?” sent me 😂 m.youtube.com/watch?v=2mjN...

I was downloading a system update for my work computer on the vpn and it said 3 hours remaining. I turned off vpn and it says 2 minutes remaining

idk about you but I’m not into videos with an overlay of a person’s face reacting to the video. why is that necessary?

where’s his other hand?

i just want someone to look at me the way i look at breakfast food

i guess i could really still use help. between driving to my grandma's almost daily to be her caregiver, and dealing with every emergency under the sun, i've depleted my (minuscule) savings

I just ate tiramisu for breakfast ama

the rapture happens, but it turns out it’s just aliens hoovering us up to fuel their human-powered spaceship à la Nope

I’m going to lean into the elderly person aesthetic by calling emojis “cartoons”

christians, flipping through the calendar: “are any of these the rapture?!”

tomorrow is the equinox, not the rapture I know, easy mistake to make

i dont like killing bugs. they didnt ask to be born smaller than i am

my favorite subgenre of Halloween decoration is “skeleton of things that absolutely do not have skeletons”

I’d be so upset if all the people at my funeral were malding

it would be actually really cool if the rapture happened and we didn’t have to deal with young earth creationists anymore

Scotland's Celtic football fans were warned not to wave the Palestinian flag. They did anyway.

as we approach the fall and holiday season, remember: it is your duty to make transphobes, right wingers, racists, etc. absolutely miserable at the holidays. call out racism make a scene

It’s always so weird when someone you blocked a long time ago adds you to several new blocklists at like 3am

Does anyone know of any other examples of where a video synchs perfectly to other audio, like the This Is America video clip set to Call Me Maybe?

It doesn't have to be a song and a music video necessarily. For example, like how the song Turn Down for What fits perfectly with the looped speedboat fail clip...

teletubbies are legitimately horrifying

Big news in my world. Strawberry mouse has been acquired

i saw a PETA billboard that was complaining about chickens or something, and it legitimately made me hungry

today is a good day to repost this

did you know,

the left win should win power in america and all the right wingers should go live in russia they want the trad life with almost guaranteed death on a frontline. go get it

i don't usually say this about bugs but they're hecka adorable

we need something between light mode and dark mode we need meh mode

fuck ice fuck the police fuck fascists

What movie do you consider "perfect"?