Happy Mother’s Day from this guy

Happy Mother's Day from this legend

the main is back online

he’s entered his car salesman/associate pastor at a small church in a business park era

i’m in a wistful melancholic vortex. partly from watching a musical that gave me big feels but also because my partner is leaving town tomorrow and this week was difficult. I enjoy doing my own thing but I don’t like to be alone. I am okay with being alone together. but alone alone is not the same.

watched this tonight and cried my fucking eyes out

uh, what the fuck is happening here

it's videogames, unless you're 90 years old, then it's "video games", you know, games you play on video

$375 for a consultation. now my kid needs a root canal and a crown. 💸💸💸 I was just thinking maybe I can get out of my debt pit. life is like “where the fuck do you think you’re going? get back in there.”

whenever i hear democrats say we need a strong republican party

⚠️ Chrome's update installs a 4GB AI model file to your device without your consent! To disable the shitty AI mode*, go to chrome://flags/ and search for these, toggle each to "disabled": optimization-guide-on-device-model prompt-api-for-gemini-nano ai-mode-omnibox-entry-point -

20 years sober baby, woooo! quoting this is easier than typing all that shit out again, but it's just as true this year. possibly even more true

there was a computer voice that sounded like a white woman telling me this call is being recorded. it repeated the message in what they might call Spanish, but it was the most gringo pronunciation I’ve ever heard. to the point where it sounded nothing like Spanish and I thought it was gibberish

my daughter’s adult tooth somehow cracked overnight and broke completely today. wtf. now I’m trying to find a dentist that is open today (why are so many closed on fridays?) and one that takes my insurance

we’re all gonna die , aren’t we

I like my women like I like my coffee hot, makes me fart, liquid, in a mug, made from beans

I had a dream that my cat killed and presented to me the corpse of an entire moose I was like “mouse! not moose! how the hell!?”

watched this on repeat losing my shit for two nights now

can you stop posting stuff that doesn’t align perfectly to my current hyperfixation?

24 hour coffee consumption. all around the clock is coffee. it’s coffee o’clock.

I had decaf coffee that didn’t suck! Peet’s French roast decaf. it was pretty okay!

Nobody can make me cum like I can and nobody can make me cry like I can

the eyes are the groin of the face

this visual bug when wearing the spiritbringer crest is hilarious. it's like 👀

as soon as my main is out of timeout i'm moving it to blacksky too

aw hell yeah I can finally see Link again @spacelawshitpost.me

new PDS who dis?

this pricing on Namecheap is kind of sus

aren't polygraphs easily defeated by some training?

everytime I fart I exert a little force on the earth, and in the smallest possible way, contribute to moving the earth into an asteroids path. so im doing my part

they should invent work that doesn't require hanging the jerk who invented it

my vape tastes like rosemary. i don't think it's supposed to. it didn't start out that way.

what i would give to get so high i'd need a harness system to lift the joint to my mouth

bluesky mods when people post whole entire unlabeled photos of cocks: "i sleep" bluesky mods when part of a SPACE SHIP looks vaguely like a BOOB (if you're a dumbass): "real shit?"

i guess a functional brain isn't required to be a journalist

bsky reaching out to use my posts in a marketing promo but ignoring my requests about someone harassing me and others is certainly a choice

if harris had won there'd still be a 6-3 supreme court because biden ruled out changing that

Missed opportunity with Las Vegas not hosting in the World Cup. FIFAAA, Las Vegas!

I've been noticing the same frequently and it turns out, yea people have gotten measurably worse bsky.app/profile/scot...

car brains, when someone mildly inconveniences/disturbs them: “why can’t I kill that kid?! what else am I supposed to do?”

MFW I see things I don’t like from the cuck chair

I just mixed up Elliott Smith and Bright Eyes turning in my millennial music knowledge badge. I don’t deserve it anymore

I bet if you added up all the time I’ve farted in life, it would be weeks of farting

WAIT I COME WITH GOOD NEWS

the last two white rhinos in existence. both female. no males. the end of their species' line. all thanks to poachers.

i pray for the destruction of the US and the destruction of Israel

it’s called a telephone because you tell a phone things

STOP STOP STOP

four vehicles I would love to own 1. 90s Dodge Viper. I know they’re shit cars but young me was obsessed 2. an original Hummer with slant back. again, young me obsessed 3. 1970s Ford Bronco 4. Dodge Tomahawk. it was a prototype motorcycle with an entire dodge viper engine on it.