we dark-sense-of-humored ourself into this mess

"Don't go to hell. The Devil will tell you he's going to give you a cool tattoo but then he'll give you a tattoo that's something else entirely."

We finally got a modern push-to-start car and my husband does not trust it one bit

My shy cat likes to run and hide for protection under the one singular small piece of Taylor Swift memorabilia we have in the house

Michael Jackson's sanitized, distorted biopic MICHAEL exists in theaters this weekend. Steer clear. www.thepitchkc.com/michael-jack...

The Bob’s Burgers Movie had to be scrapped after Jay Johnston was at January 6th, and they rushed to come up with a Jimmy-Pesto-free way to save the project. When they realized that the new movie plot was closely repeating a story from season 5, it was too late to start all over for the second time

really enjoying the new season of Hacks, but given that it revolves around Madison Square Garden, there should be a lot of dunks on the jam band Phish, as Phish has played MSG nearly 100 times. instead there have been no dunks on Phish. Paul Downs Lucia Aniello fix this please

EGAA. It’s an Antoinette Perry Award

imagining a specific kind of pretentious person who refers to an EGOT as EGAT. it is an Academy Award, thank you, Oscar is the name of a grouch

it's fine when they make a movie out of a musical, but when it flows the other way i get the ick.

Genuinely curious what Friends of Dolan like @trey.com from @phish.com feel about Phish fans getting surveilled at MSG, The Sphere, and other Dolan-owned places they play. Phenomenal reporting here.

absolutely bananas that Danny McBride's work on television for the last twenty years has been recognized with a total of six emmy nominations - and all of those were technical nominations for the last season of righteous gemstones

can i be a bitch for a second? graham platner's features are too round. man is all circles and it freaks me out

My compact car broke down about three hours before the war in Iran started and my new car is an SUV, so filling up today was a wee bit of a shock

quite a contrast between lena dunham's book tour and lindy west's book tour

Exactly one year ago today:

For sale: Baby shoes; Never worn. Not sure why I bought them. They’re way too small for my feet.

For sale: baby shoes. So fuckin worn. This baby ran everywhere fast as shit

me decades into managing my adhd: hey does anyone know how to activate. i forgot the code

Anytime all three of our cats are in the same area, it is considered an emergency. It’s cute. They’re all together in the cat tree. Even Burger. You can’t miss this. Stop pooping and come here.

I am forty and childless, and I would like to be a mom, but I would also like to not be pregnant and adopt the maximum allowable number of cats and dogs. So pretty good options either way

Found out that my aunt saw Whack Job in an airport bookstore last year and didn't take a picture. Writers, don't make my mistake, make sure to communicate your need for airport-based book sightings upfront

one thing i especially hate about microsoft is that they give you these stupid (but also sometimes correct) little suggestions about spelling and grammar and the way you're supposed to click on them is different in every single case

There are still some positive connections that are unique to social media, and making friends on IG with a really cool bookstore in another state is one of them

sometimes having a cat is like having a tiny furry dale gribble in your house

I’m so fucking mad about what happened to the Roanoke Rambler and I hope it gets covered

When the skies turn this color, I know we are about to enter what meteorologists might call The Cool Zone

The same week the NYTimes was devoting its significant resources to producing this ridiculous piece about Lauren Sanchez Bezos's call for rich people to not worry and be happy, Ryan Hass, an independent journalist in Oregon, was investigating this horrifying story about a death in an Amazon plant.

love adult catholic converts because they're like "Actually, I know the Catholic Church better than the literal Pope" and I relish seeing that kind of delusion

me spending years in school learning about Henry VIII, a ruler so selfish and childish in his tyranny that he even ended up beefing with the Pope when he didn’t get his way: haha people in the past sure were crazy

was thinking about baseball and publishing, vs nba/nfl and film/tv. major league baseball and the book business, neither are at their all-time peak but they're rebounding after a very difficult early century. whereas football, basketball, Hollywood, the struggle feels new and existential

instant classic

a weird belief that is held across basically all sectors of American life is that boy dollars and boy votes are better than girl dollars and girl votes and so if you have a lot of the latter you need to be constantly trying to exchange them for the former

i love it when a celebrity who has gotten a ton of obvious plastic surgery does an appearance and someone is like "hey what's up with their face" in the comments and everyone is like "how very dare you..... my celebrity would NEVER get plastic surgery"

I love NOPE (2022) so much. I don't understand how this isn't one of THE movies of the 2020s. this should have won fifteen oscars

Contrary to public perception a huge % of pregnant teenagers in the 1990s were impregnated by adult men. The younger they were, the larger the average age gap between mother and father was. Fixing teen pregnancy was in part a clampdown on statutory rape. That's what conservatives want to reverse.

why am i, as a woman, forced to talk my husband into watching HEAT (1995)??????????? what happened to Gender Roles

The guys who go “you were raped and you DIDN’T run to tell the police immediately???? How DARE you!” are the exact same guys who are constantly freaking out about false rape accusations

Yesterday I watched Passengers and In Time seemed like a masterpiece by comparison

The silent treatment is completely ineffective in a personal relationship, but it is such a good tool when somebody sends a shitty email

it's so funny to see so many people say "her breasts are beautiful, it's just that it's ill fitted!" as if the relaxed fit and the revelation of her breasts in their natural state aren't the exact reason she's wearing the dress the way she is

Here is a tip from my late mother in law for all of those with Kindles that are about to get bricked: check out a TON of ebooks from the library and then turn off your WiFi and you can just keep them forever (and the library also gets them back) 😀

I love it when a pop star releases a video where she is sexy and everyone goes “hmmmm. Now why would she do that”

Finding that I’m at my creepiest when I’m in the market for a car. Just blatantly staring at people’s vehicles, trying to figure out the model and year

The paperback edition of WITHOUT CONSENT (with a very different cover) isn’t out till November 3 but pre-orders are welcome right now! www.harpercollins.com/products/wit...

I’m not learning about peptides. Save it for physics textbooks

i work for a major university with literally thousands of excellent technology researchers. WHY do we put up with Microsoft Outlook?????? WHY do we not create our own shit that WORKS?

is there not a single person in all of maine who wants to run for senate who is under 70 years old and is not a bloodthirsty jackass

This movie I'm watching (In Time) is really bad but I kind of wonder if it could be amazing if it didn't star Justin Timberlake