We don't deserve this song and we never will x

If men can turn up to a date dressed like this then so can I x

Fred West was known as a builder until he wasn't x

Honestly, can someone tell the Met I'm a flight risk so I can have the rest of the week off, please? I'd even do a couple of weeks on remand, if need be x

One of the greatest songs of all time x

@robertcheath.bsky.social and @guy-e-walker.bsky.social are back on Sunday. A round table special all about 2002 TV film Cruise of the Gods. Joined by former guests Steve Dunne and @stuartlawscomedy.bsky.social Subscribe now to get it when it drops.

Get it banned x

Now we have the "patriots", Reform and the Labour Party protecting women and girls, here's 5 things us ladies can do now: 1. pick up male hitchhikers 2. say no 3. walk home at night 4. trust the police 5. continue with our tapestry making and pressing flowers x

I think Toxoplasmosis is a nice name for a boy x

Just thinking about the time in GCSE Art where I had to draw a hand holding something. I chose a banana because LOLS. Issue was, I'd drawn the hand too small and added the banana afterwards. When it came back from being marked it just had the words "tight grip" added in red pen x

The Green Menace will Return in AVENGERS: DOOMSDAY! The absolute rot of this. What houses? What wages? What NHS care? LMAO x

Just thinking about the time a guy I used to work with brought left over lasagna for lunch in a carrier bag. No lunch box, just slung in an Asda bag for life x

Derby has a man who walks everywhere backwards, will that do? x

5 views away from 500 www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNmY...

To quote @deathofbuckley.bsky.social "This woman has made her fanny her entire personality."

Not gonna lie, the worst theme park I've ever been to was PC World x

The more I think about this pair ever existing the more I begin to understand why this country is the way it is x

When Dusty Springfield had a look around the Chapati factory x

Roses are red, Luke Littler does darts,

Thought I’d just pass on some relationship advice my grandma once gave to me: if you’re unhappy with your partner or spouse why don’t you replace their head in every photograph in your house with a picture of your celebrity crush? x

Them: I never see you at the club? Me: well, I never seen you at the Derby ring road palm tree that’s listed as a historic monument x

Anyway, have a break from the Sunday blues and see me accepting a parcel with my very tiny penis on show. I look like I’m about to break out the old ‘razzle dazzle’ pineapple studios and boot the package to number 15 x

The DIY SOS fellas really do work hard to do what’s necessary for those less fortunate x

Them: I never see you at the club? Me: well, I never seen you at the Derby ring road palm tree that’s listed as a historic monument x

No. That’s not how science works, fam x

Completed it mate x

I swear, this is PEAK my people x

I’d sure hate to be a scammer when 12 SQUARES IS BUSES!

Gone round to a mate’s and he’s feeding me like I’ve had an appendectomy x

Haha! Losers be out there paying for full price Taramasalata and I’m beating the system. Newbs x

Huns V Tarts. Fingers crossed for an alien at Ibrox (not that you’d notice lol) x

I reckon I should be the next Celtic manager x

Hi Celtic, how are you? Just a quick one; can you please get a fucking grip? OK, cheers, bye x

Just thinking about the time I said to my brother "have you ever seen a Woody Allen film?" and he replied "yeh, White Men Can't Jump" x

IT'S HERE! Our first episode of the year! Episode 34. We review Amadeus, Weetwood Ales, and I get a much needed lesson in Men's Health. All episodes are here: linktr.ee/recliningpair x

I was worried it wasn’t going to rain today x

Thought I’d just pass on some relationship advice my grandma once gave to me: if you’re unhappy with your partner or spouse why don’t you replace their head in every photograph in your house with a picture of your celebrity crush? x

The theatre’s dead long isn’t it? Just hours and hours of theatre x

Roses are red, Luke Littler does darts,

Just seen Wuthering Heights. There’s so much fog going on I thought I’d got glaucoma. Like, the film’s OK but I’ve watched Ken Russell stuff so Emerald Fennel doesn’t really rile me. Best thing about it is Martin Clunes x

Just cleaned the bathroom sink down with the face wipe I’ve just used x

It's a special day today because Valentine's Day Eve and Friday the 13th only fall on the same day every 1,300 years. Happy Birthday Dracula!

Tudor [absolute*] Cinema Club *derogatory

Watched my brother almost have an aneurism this weekend because I told him I didn't like reading Terry Pratchett books as I found them too unbelievable x

I once walked through a forest and I had to move out of the way because a squirrel looked at me. And the squirrel was wearing a balaclava. And potentially had a knife. Or a gun x

Your baby wont stop crying? Have you thought about taking it to the pub? x

Joke's on you. I've literally saved myself DECADES of time by not liking anything ever x

When Dusty Springfield had a look around the Chapati factory x

I was worried it wasn’t going to rain today x

Well my name's John Keats and I'm here to say / that Beauty is Truth, in a major way