Ooh, new Midlake. music.apple.com/gb/album/a-b...

This week I appeared on the excellent @ghoststorybookclub.bsky.social discussing memoir writing and doing a deep dive into E.F. Benson's chilling apparition story 'In The Tube'. This is one of my favourite podcast appearances, so do give it a listen. podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/i...

The only non-toxic social media is the chat on Royal Match.

This, by the way, is when I first started writing about it. The TLS, 2014. A great deal, for me, followed from this. richarddsmyth.com/2017/07/07/t...

It's Friday. It's the shortest amount of time anyone has ever owned a trouser press. youtu.be/tNqn5bKmKNc?...

A superb book and a mad bargain

Let’s go girls 🥰 #RHOSLC

One of my colleagues visited the pacific northwest and surprised me today with some Twin Peaks merch. At the time I was drinking a black coffee and wearing this badge. I’m the David Lynch equivalent of a full kit wanker and I won’t be changed.

Happy publication day to @christinariley.bsky.social and Looking Down at the Stars ✨ Discover the wonder of marine life seen up close in these joyous and sparkling essays 🪸 Visit our blog to read a guest post by Christina! saraband.net/2025/11/03/l... #booksky 📚💙 @portyliterary.bsky.social

Guy Fawkes’ signature before and after he picked up a still hot sparkler on Bonfire Night.

Flying Squirrel Loves It Every Time

Keeping with their new occult business model, Debenhams are now selling shirts of the black metal band MAYHEM

People keep asking me to do things to deadlines when, for as long as I can remember, all I've wanted is to do nothing whenever I want for as long as I want.

Pepsi have a similar division.

Send a book instead of a card for Christmas and support a charity. It’s a win win Christmas win.

Britain’s Deadliest Surfeit of Lampreys with Alexander Armstrong

She doesn’t sound very aloof

My old Nan was a right Mrs Malaprop and came out with these all the time. "Ooh no, I don't like flying. Prefer to keep my feet on terracotta."

Someone from the C-Suite said he wanted to “take that idea back and canoodle it” which does not mean what I think he thought it meant 🤢

Good morning. In episode 3 last night Grace describes her brother Hungry Paul like Winnie The Pooh. She means it as a slight insult but I think we should all be a bit more Winnie the Pooh. One of the books that saved me. The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff. And here's L&HP too!

I once heard someone say "I was running around like the Headless Horseman"

They’re clutching eggshells

Sounds like they got the wrong end of the stick and started beating around the bush with it.

Someone in a Teams meeting just said “It’s the old chicken and the egg question isn’t it? Why did they cross the road?” then realised what they’d said and turned their camera off.

When my first book was published over there in 2022, it reached No.1 in Hunting and Fishing Humor* for about three hours, so I'm thinking big. p.s. It's nothing to do with hunting or fishing, unless you're hunting for sad teenagers in mid-nineties coastal Yorkshire.

Broken Biscuits and Other Male Failures is published in the US today. I know that we've all got a lot on our plates right now, but there's always room for biscuits/cookies. #booksky www.amazon.com/Broken-Biscu...

This reminds me of when you put auto-translate on recipes from Scandinavian websites

Wild that there is a long running division at McVities dedicated to launching fucked up Jaffa Cake variants that will be discontinued within a month.

You laugh, but this is how the exododus went extinct

The BBC News channel have had live interviews with both Sean Paul and Shaggy about Hurricane Melissa today

Meeting your mum's new boyfriend.

No takers for my Reverse Mrs Doubtfire screenplay in which an elderly Scottish woman pretends to be fast-talking improvisational stand-up Robin Williams.

Have we ever had a more Stephen King IP-heavy year?

I've been excited for people to see the great opening credits for IT: Welcome to Derry for weeks, since I saw the on the press screeners (they debut with episode two, out today). www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwTo...

Wrote a Substack about how reading my writing in front of audiences changed everything for me. #booksky adamfarrer.substack.com/p/a-family-o...

My brain every time I walk my dog in her raincoat: “Uvavu.”

it's me, unnamed critter from bosch's triptych of the temptation of anthony!

I need to see his Pinterest board.

if you’re a bird lover like me, I suspect you will enjoy my tasteful, educational and 100% accurate bird calendar. the 2026 edition features all new bird illustrations — and no, these are not photos! www.tommysiegel.net

FAO @generalwitch.bsky.social youtu.be/J5wiALFxzZk?...

Oh man, I feel really stupid. I've been drinking white with my ravine falls.

Too busy for Halloween this year, so here’s my dog at a pumpkin patch in 2023 and the pumpkin I bought there and carved.

You need to try this technique on your contact page.

A Substack about the only notable thing to ever happen to me on Halloween. substack.com/home/post/p-...

Happy Samhain 🔥

Make sure you check your kid's Trick or Treat chocolate tonight. Last Halloween my son bit into a mini Mars bar and found a John Virgo ‘Gotcha' from Noel's House Party inside

This is a really fascinating read about the guilt of documenting social wars and the need to start closer to home. "People used to write me letters, saying, “I want to be a war photographer.” I’d say: “Help yourself – it’s in your cities.”' www.theguardian.com/artanddesign...

And it’s tomorrow. Leicester’s Local Writers Fair. Where I’ll be strutting my stuff (standing behind a table), selling millions of copies of Saltburn (one or two), and my other books, (you’ve written other books?) Come along! 10am-3pm at Leicester Central Library, Bishop St, Leicester LE1 6AA

Prince Andrew is 65. Just whack him in council bungalow and take his winter fuel allowance off him x