I know some people have problems with the idea of nature as mental health balm but walking my dog in this place before work each morning has vastly improved my ability to function during the rest of the day. That said, it hasn’t stopped me swearing before answering every unexpected Teams calls.

This book is something really special and you all need to read it. Read my review for Northern Soul to find out why it’s so bloody good: www.northernsoul.me.uk/bog-people-a... #bogpeople #folkhorror

*don’t say it* *don’t say it* *don’t say it* Wanky Doodles.

I’m duty bound to tell you that my book is currently 45% off on Amazon but morally bound to tell you to buy it from a bricks and mortar shop instead. @jebookshull.bsky.social would be a great example. amzn.eu/d/hHFxdTG

This every day on a loop until death.

I'm at the stage when an ad like this pops up on Instagram and I just assume it's about yet another musician I've never heard of.

It's Friday. It's the shortest amount of time anyone has ever owned a trouser press. youtu.be/tNqn5bKmKNc?...

After my book event on Tuesday someone told me “you look like you should be on Taskmaster. You just have a way about you.” A compliment, right?

God, I would enjoy the sound of wind so much more if I didn't own a tiled roof.

you’re doing my man all wrong

I don't wish to be all 2016 Twitter here, but do we think Trump saw the size of King Charles' fingers and was overwhelmed by a crushing sense of envy?

I couldn’t have paid someone to come up with a more flattering and generous response to my event last night than this.

Visited the elegant Chorlton Library yesterday for the @adamjfarrer.bsky.social Broken Biscuits book event with @stevenkedie.bsky.social doing a fine job interviewing. I could have listened to you both for much longer! Came away with a signed copy of this handsome book I am greatly enjoying reading

THIS is the last bump for my @chorltonbookfest.bsky.social event tonight. There are a couple of tickets left and (pay what you feel) sales close shortly. Come along to Chorlton Library tonight and talk about male failure with me.

Last bump (maybe) for my @chorltonbookfest.bsky.social event tomorrow at Chorlton Library. Tickets! Pay what you feel (if necessary, this can be nowt).👇#booksky www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/adam-farre...

UPEND THE ESTABLISHMENT, by voting for a party composed entirely of rejects from the oldest party in the country that was in power for 14 years. 😂 Reform UK increasingly look like the Tories just ran off stage, then ran back on wearing a comedy glasses-nose-moustache disguise.

DO NOT GIVE PLANTS WEAPONS

My daughter and I were each describing some music we'd discovered that we thought the other would love and after a few minutes it turned out that we were talking about the same song. It was this and we were both right. www.tiktok.com/@hudsonfreem...

Starting in September, NQL 'CReative Weekends' Performance, workshops, open studios. Even intimate dinners! Time to share work on walls, not online... Learn more here: notquitelight.com/creative-weeke…

Mesmerising

Did a double take at this Instagram ad for an app before I remembered that language evolves. There’s probably also an app to yassify your turds, but I’ve not checked.

My neighbours down the street have their Christmas lights up. This year is going so fast. Hard to believe it was Flagmania just last week.

A couple of folks have sent me this image of my book on the library display at MediaCity in Salford for new students. It’s important if you’re new to this city to learn about Joy Division, Shelagh Delaney and the time I got stoned in a girl’s bedroom then projectile vomited into her ceiling fan.

i just want what they have

Today you are going to hear some of the dumbest and most dangerous words and opinions the world has to offer but trust me when I tell you that, if you still use Twitter, it's a good day to disable video autoplay.

Thursday

Playing the closing theme to Camberwick Green, just because everything is awful and it blocks things out momentarily

I never understand why it's important that the political party be witty

I guess this has probably already gone viral somewhere but I am simply dying at this picture of a bear that looks like it hired a photographer to do a glamour shoot

My brother Robert took his own life in 2008 and our family has come to realise that it was silence that pushed him into this position. He didn't feel free to talk and make himself vulnerable and, if I'm honest, I didn't pay close enough attention to what he was going through.

Next year I’m going to see a band I’ve adored for 31 years play albums I’ve adored for 29 years with a friend I’ve adored for 33 years.

Everyone listen to @zoeot.bsky.social

"Lazy"??? We're the ones who want to keep doing all the creative work ourselves!

You may have missed this "Farage Fillies" bit of the RefUK conference, hosted by the fragrant Allison Pearson, which included an incredible victimhood-embracing section around how mean people are being to them, including reading out nasty messages... after opening with THIS.

I’ve been touring this book since February and every time I’ve signed a copy for someone, I’ve asked them to sign my copy in return. Come to my last event of the year at @chorltonbookfest.bsky.social next Tuesday and be one of the last people to sign it.

With strong competition, I think this might be the most pathetic and cowardly government in power during my lifetime.

RT's appreciated for this one, pre-orders are super-important for small presses cos they help gauge print runs and they're really helpful for getting us noticed by the big high street chains too 🙏👌

I've been meaning to write about me, my family and murder for decades and have finally plucked up the courage... open.substack.com/pub/ferguscr...

When "hiding in plain sight" means screaming at the top of your lungs that you're a papedophile on the most famous radio programme on Earth.

Not sure what age/opinion demographic Facebook thinks I'm part of, but they've just started marketing me what appear to be AI-generated 1940's granddad pants and the comments are full of complaints that they're 'too feminine' and no good if you need a wee 'in a hurry'.

Broken Biscuits and Other Male Failures is currently available on Amazon for 45% off but it'd be great if you bought it from a book shop for whatever they're selling it for. Like @blackwellsmcr.bsky.social, who will be selling it at my @chorltonbookfest.bsky.social event on Sept 16th. #booksky

Got tagged in a photo at The Roadhouse, Manchester 25 years ago and the thing that strikes me is how impassive we all are at the sight of a guy howling on the floor in front of us, fresh from having just punched a hole in the ceiling which caused a light fitting to drop out and hit him in the head.

Turns out they really do flock together.

Hand made friendship bracelets.

Not even the best Irish comic writer to disastrously undermine their own defence in a London court