Me going into 2025 vs me leaving 2025

Greetings and good morning it’s the Monday farm rush hour with our donkeys

David Attenborough [whispering]: “Like a grain of sand in a vast desert, the predator blends seamlessly into its environment, nearly imperceptible to the naked eye.”

Good morning. Today is Monday, and it's cold.

Here he is. Preparing my BlueSky posts for the new year.

This is important. And he's coming with me again. #domsbigfatwalktotheseaside

Just found some smoked salmon in the fridge. I'm going in.

Also not entirely sure about having to 'agree to terms and conditions' of a bloody tv. Just might fancy watching a bit of telly one day. The future's rubbish. In other news, my hat is on charge. Because it's a USB hat #whatarewedoingwiththeworld

Just bought a new tv today ('cos reasons) and this one comes with all MANNER of wokery. Object Tracking Sound Lite - Q-Symphony - Hybrid Log Gamma - Quantum HDR - Mega Contrast - Real Quantum Dot I mean, who even NEEDS this?! Someone's being exploited here I can tell you...

2026 Plans: - More cheese ... Well that's all I've got so far.

Good morning. I had that funny dream again.

Someone has just asked me if I've 'got an alt' and frankly I'm FASCINATED to know what they'd like to see on there. My lasagne recipes, perhaps?

Look, the world's gone mad so we all need our OWN coping strategies but if you need some help, you can always borrow mine. Gizmo.

Once again, my friends cat.

Bollocks. Just lost a bet, and now I have to join my local campanology club. That's 2026.

Set up my new Auk hydroponics growing system, haven't I? Absolutely not going to use it to grow cannabis plants nosiree

The more I consider it, 2025 was utterly ridiculous wasn't it?

Magic.

The last thing my left over vegetables see.

Anyway, thanks to my wonky back I'm once again made of ibuprofen and paracetamol today. But grumpy about it, to be honest.

Good morning. PSA: today is Saturday.

(daft punk One More Time voice) Auld Lang Syne

Tomorrow I shall be doing nothing. Eating healthily. Posting nonsense. Napping. Generally being annoying.

Pretty sure only Gen-X will get this but... .. my parents just 'gave me three rings' to let me know they got home okay.

Right, this cheese isn't gonna eat itself now is it? Who's in?

Good morning, from me and my back which has gone into spasm to the extent I can't even get me socks on. Lovely.

Modern child: NO I wanted the other iPad Victorian child; thank you for the orange

Christmas didn't look like this on the John Lewis advert.

Me, when the cheeses come out.

Well, he had a good run

Santa got me vodka, it would appear.

is it eggs? i bet it's eggs.

Yup

Right.

Christmas greetings. All our animals had extra treats this morning, thank you 😘thank you being part of our farmily. I wish you good health, happiness and love you more ❤️

Mrs Schrödinger: [*opening Christmas present*] Schrödinger: [*nervous glance to camera*]

Don't forget to start the ball rolling early with any right-wing family members this morning by greeting them with 'HAPPY MIDDLE-EASTERN REFUGEE DAY'

It is here, it is now.

I was Calvin at one point and at another I was Hobbes.

this christmas let's remember what the holiday is really all about: putting a stop to santa's breaking and entering spree by any means necessary

Last Christmas I gave you my spleen. But the very next day, nothing happened. No one knows what the spleen does.

my family about to open their gift: "what is it!" me: "remember when u said u needed a plastic fork that one time? welllllll.... 🤭"

IT'S MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY

Me, in about eight hours time

I am now cheesing

And no getting back in line 'til everyone has had a turn.

Billy Mack in Love Actually is only meant to be two years older than me. Ouch.