yeah if you’re my mutual on here, I will almost certainly buy your book.

i'm trying to settle an argument. what's the most millennial engagement bait?

Lmao at whoever on gillibrand's staff was like "this bitch is drunk all the time, we can use this"

If Obama or Biden had called the White House a “shithouse,” right-wing media would have screamed about nothing else for months and the GOP would have said they’re traitors.

mood

multiple people trying to debunk this with "I have personally witnessed these people interact with the transes irl and they didn't try to murder any so there"

From @katherinestewart.bsky.social : "FWIW second homes are already taxed in South Carolina and Montana"

Gonna spend the day at the dump watching the seagulls try to fuck the raccoons.

Albert Hotbutski Father Michigan, Marriages, 1822-1995

I've seen Gallego say/do some boneheaded centrist things, but credit where due

I have never farted this much in my life. Why must Catalina Crunch cereal be so tasty, yet so loaded with fiber?

🚨 📣 Goth flamingo alert 📣 🚨

can we go back to that time when everyone was just really into Sea Shanties?

They are a universal social toxin, corroding and cheapening everything they touch.

Universities give these murder / insanity machines our money

He told ChatGPT he was a nazі іncel who wanted to dіe, then asked how many people you’d have to shoot at his school to get on the news. ChatGPT helped him pick his ammo, pick his target, pick the best time for the massacre, and then told him how to use the gun. Then he did. youtu.be/IbG-JGdGniY

NEW: ChatGPT advised the FSU shooter that a mass shooting would get more attention from media if it involved several children, according to a new lawsuit against OpenAI www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...

@actualnames.bsky.social @porcupunk.bsky.social

Having a resting bitch face and poor eyesight can be very intimidating.

"We built the Torment Nexus, and we believe it is acting like it did because of "Do Not Build the Torment Nexus""

my mother has a medical podcast where she self diagnoses her ailments it’s called my voicemail and it happens every morning at 9 am.

I've seen two people come back to the parking lot with carry-out bags in the last 20 minutes, but they were here before us, so I'm hopeful ours will be coming soon. I should probably get out of the car and go check, but with my luck and timing, he'll come out with our food as soon as I get there.

happy mother’s day to everyone out there even the losers and the haters who don’t like my posts

They must be running behind or something. They told me 40-45 minutes when I called at noon and it's 1:10 now. I tried texting partner to ask if everything is okay… but then heard his phone ding in the passenger seat. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Picking up Whatcha Smokin' brisket & pulled pork to take up to my stepmom for Mother's Day late lunch. They're so busy we had to park in the back 40, so partner went in for me. I'm catching back up on the chapters of the 2nd book of Dungeon Crawler Carl that I missed when I fell asleep listening.

lol, they gave Artemis II astronaut (and Philadelphia sports fan) Christina Koch an astronaut Gritty

Incheon Airport has a bunch of signs reminding people that you can NOT put kimchi in your checked baggage, which makes me wonder how many Kimchi Biohazard Events have occurred in the past.

Hard to think of a worse time for Klobuchar to be governor of Minnesota.

Introducing my new dating app

I will never not be bemused by how certain people claim grits are nasty but wax poetic over how good polenta is

Every now and then I am reminded that the Ocellated Turkey exists and am re-delighted. Lisa Frank-ass gobblers.

Iowa is going to reach Mars before Elon

arrived home to discover the pleasant silence in the back seat was caused primarily by my five year old writing “67” on her baby sister’s forehead with a ballpoint pen

Millennials and Gen Xers may recognize this song as the main title of "The Adventures of Pete & Pete". But what Polaris didn't dare tell Nickelodeon, for fear of losing the gig, is that the song is about the Kent State massacre. The titular "Sandy" is Sandra Lee Scheuer.

And really the argument that women wearing babydoll dresses is why men abuse little girls is um quite bad in every respect

I opened Threads, scrolled down, saw someone accusing Olivia Rodrigo of glorifying pedophilia because of recent outfits she’s worn, and closed Threads

You can be anything you want. Except cool. Or smart. Or rich. Or powerful. Or confident. Or happy. Maybe forget the first thing I said.

Reminder it’s not okay to include people in your kinks without consent

Barry's had dick tyres

diet coke is a fridge cigarette hot dog is a meat cigarette

It'd be the same 6 dildos on the Supreme Court destroying our rights so can we PUH-LEASE stop this shit.

Does Royal Kingdom have an unlimited advertising budget or are celebrities being paid in like $50 Costco gift cards now?

a funny bit if you were a baker would be to name your tarts after unabashed sluts. like hi yes i'll have a strawberry warren beatty, a cinnamon wilt chamberlain, and two nancy reagan creams.

noted

no matter how big your account gets you will always be posting for 30 people

The way back to the boring times when you can ignore what the unhinged people in this country are doing is through justice and equality for all. Not...ignoring.