Tonight, we caught and compromised to a permanent end, Tilly Norwood.

Got a loaner 2026 Subaru Forester while my Outback is in the shop and it fucking sucks. Cars made in the last few years are awful.

Browsing IMDb. I can't believe they went through seven sea lions while filming "Andre."

It took weeks of investigation but the hidden cameras have finally paid off. There is a wild Flubber living in the walls of my house.

Most punchable face in the game right now

Outdoor dining is great if you love keeping an eye on a wasp for the duration of your meal

(explaining The Beatles to my son) Well, one of their songs is about no longer beating your wife. It's just a song though, they kept beating their wives in real life. Uhh, they have another song about a guy who kills people with a hammer. My favorite is about being happy because you shot a gun.

If you buy a shitty 2026 Bronco you'll have to disable a ton of safety features before it will even let you 𝘵𝘳𝘺 to ram the Hallmark store.

Me: You guys got any plans for the weekend? My buddy Craig: Prob hitting the beach. My buddy Sven, who learned English by listening to DragonForce: I will be razing the seven ramparts.

Fighting for my life in the bathroom right now (someone left the window open and a wandering Ronin got in).

Wow, what a great Grassy Valley Friday. I guess Grassy will wait another week to see you all. JUST KIDDING! Next week’s strip is already up on the Grassy Valley Patreon, along with mondo perks and bonus stuff. www.patreon.com/cw/baybayfri...

I dreamt that I was trying to build up an immunity to radiation by eating little pieces of raw ground beef that I had previously irradiated

Last night we let the baseballs talk

Apparently Gen Z is discovering ancient goblin landmarks buried beneath cityscapes and castle ruins

Electricians will seriously look you dead in the eye and tell you that getting electrocuted is the ground's fault.

Something so uniquely pathetic about hitching your emotions to a game that you're not even playing.

This mask always makes me laugh. i don't like to look at the other one..

The computer lost the mandate of heaven when the humble, helpful "program" was replaced with the insidious "app"

Damo Suzuki: Those lights becoming many Those lights back at home Those lights that make you make it home again Those lights back there Yes, I feel everything,

literally the first thing i said was “oh they turned an eight miles of new york into a hitman level”

I’ve been thinking about all the ways the Enhanced Security Measures around the Knicks game could fail to protect Donald Trump. I’ve been thinking about how it could be like the end of Weapons.

Confirmed that white boys are invincible

Trump requests additional $3 Billion in military funding to be allocated towards "forming a weapon against you that will prosper."

I actually did community service once with a guy who was charged with eating a succulent Chinese meal (briefly outlawed under Bush 1).

To: All - Intercompany From: Maintenance Subject: Metamorphosis Body: To whom it may concern, The entire maintenance department is rockabilly now. Please adjust your files as needed Sincerely, Thick Dick Rick and the Husky Boys

If Big Bird had gone up on the Challenger as planned and exploded in front of all those kids the dotcom bubble never would have happened and we would have discovered web sites about two weeks ago

New York City just had its safest first 5 months of a year in recorded history. Murders plunged 21%, and major crime overall is down 11%.

402 evidentiary motion to bar the prosecution from referring to my client, Mr. Wolf, as either big or bad

Turkey Mama with babies in my yard this morning. Fortuitous omen.

You took my penis out of context At the Mariners Apartment Complex

Did they ever start calling him this?

Turner Classic Boobies

you never hear about all hell when it is firmly secured.

(learning 1 thank you is more powerful than 1000 sorrys): thank you for having a son i backed over in my suv

Hello, this is Chef John from FoodWishes.com wiiiiiith ... Psychosexual Trauma! That's right, whether it comes from unexpected exposure or extended sexual frustration, or maybe both, it belongs on your picnic table this summer!

I wish someone would lovebomb me. I've never even been likeblasted.

My work calendar uses a Monday-Sunday format and it's really tripping me up.

Mr. Shit's Big Fuckoff

After a quarter century, The Raveonettes have never missed. Their 10th album is no exception. My only complaint is that it's too short, a mere 8 tracks. If not for public libraries I would probably never have started listening to them wayyy back in the day!

Guy who has only seen Babette's Feast, watching his second movie: Getting a lot of 'Babette's Feast' vibes from this.

shoveitupyour.ass