Unemployed Guy
@porktartare.bsky.social
📤 1093
📥 604
📝 6769
Professional contrarian, naysayer, yum-yucker, heckler, and overall hater.
We should kill everyone
about 14 hours ago
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Boss: Uh, you're not really supposed to get a break if your shift is only 3 hours. Me: Yare Yare Daze...
about 14 hours ago
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Unemployed Guy
HEALTH
about 23 hours ago
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Unemployed Guy
SaigonTime, M.D.🇵🇸
about 23 hours ago
finally found something to make me laugh and it's this I've watched this like 30 times in a row
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Are you there Dog? It's me, Barkaret.
1 day ago
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Unemployed Guy
Brainfall: Mentality’s Requiem
4 days ago
Smiles of Mirth: The Laughter Chronicles
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We need to illegalize weed
2 days ago
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I've only heard a song by my favorite band on the radio one time and afterwards the DJ got on air to apologize for playing it 😔
2 days ago
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Unemployed Guy
Topher Florence
4 days ago
[The one time Kazama Kiryu had sex]: "Intercourse huh? I guess many mammals enjoy "getting their rocks off" so to speak. Sure I'll try it." [afterwards] "Huh, that was pretty vulnerable...and..WOW...what a jolt! So this is the world of sex. Thank you. I have to get back to the batting cages now."
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They finally made cubes that aren't so heavy
4 days ago
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Unemployed Guy
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️
5 days ago
man stroker’s ejacula
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Unemployed Guy
Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
4 days ago
They're remaking "Babette's Feast", the 1987 Oscar winning Danish film based on the classic short story by Isak Dinesen, as "Mencia's Feast" but producers are keeping fastidiously mum about who they will cast in the titular role.
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Kicking caffeine is actually physically worse than kicking alcohol (for me, personally. Everyone is different and ymmv.)
4 days ago
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Why don't we name guys Bump anymore?
6 days ago
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I became Subaru mode today
7 days ago
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Notice how there was no Wednesday this week
7 days ago
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Unemployed Guy
FYAD flags
8 days ago
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Why did the singer of Senses Fail never mention his super speed abilities again?
8 days ago
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8 days ago
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Unemployed Guy
hi their
11 days ago
The dress code is business causal. You have to dress in a way that causes, or is caused by, business.
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Tonight we let the gay water talk
12 days ago
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Makin my way downtown A town that's down Opposite of an uptown
13 days ago
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Unemployed Guy
🪷🌞crying evil gun🌞🪷
16 days ago
they should invent an emoji thats like this
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Mario Teaches Fucking
17 days ago
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I am the world's biggest bloodborne fan and even I don't want a bloodborne movie. I want bloodborne 2.
17 days ago
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Wire Mother's milk just hits differently after the gym
18 days ago
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Good news for people who hate the ozone layer. My neighbors have been burning plastic since 8:00 a.m.
19 days ago
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My beloved Toyota Prius kicked the bucket last night. 🅱️ℹ️🅿️
19 days ago
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We are the dorders of the ghts you couldn't pronounce
19 days ago
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Are you there God? It's me, Margaritaville.
19 days ago
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What if you wanted to sleep for 20 more minutes but your body said: "get itchy"
21 days ago
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Discard/draw on silent is incredible (albeit slow), throw in tough bandages and it becomes disgustingly overpowered
loading . . .
Discard Silent is Disgusting
YouTube video by (null)
https://youtu.be/xlPQSDylkdk
21 days ago
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Unemployed Guy
Norm Charlatan
21 days ago
One of the Artemis astronauts stood up immediately after splashdown and started collecting his carryon bags even though he was seated in the back row of the capsule.
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Me as a child watching the mom on Rugrats eating a product called "Chocolacheese": haha that's so funny and gross. Me as an adult: Some Chocolacheese would really hit right now.
21 days ago
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Having beefened broccoli lunch
22 days ago
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Unemployed Guy
doomsmoker (just memes)
23 days ago
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When Bruno Mars stopped his entire song just to fill his cup up with liquor, that's when I knew he had a problem
23 days ago
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Unemployed Guy
FYAD flags
26 days ago
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You can't be dressing like that Gabriel
24 days ago
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I;m out of penis money
24 days ago
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Heads up, other half is making na beer now.
27 days ago
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Unemployed Guy
wint
27 days ago
"Your posts are worse than Bieber" "Shirt look like a shop rite bag" "You have sold out the fans ." Every Accusation is a Confession. —DRIL
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I'm offering three modded consoles for sale. Discounts for longtime mutuals. DM me for more info/to negotiate.
28 days ago
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We need to start killing
28 days ago
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tonight we let the abuelita talk
29 days ago
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"cut or uncut?"
add a skeleton here at some point
29 days ago
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Unemployed Guy
Elizabeth Warren
29 days ago
I have questions for MrBeast.
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Unemployed Guy
Slideshare Gems
29 days ago
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Diet hack: whenever you want to eat a carbohydrate, grab a cooked chicken breast from the fridge and eat it.
29 days ago
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Cars should have a device that decapitates the driver if they roll through a stop sign
29 days ago
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