friends, have you heard the good news?

subscribing to Disney Pus, pop and squeeze that Mickey Icky straight into my eager mouth

get in loser we’re getting turnt on route 35

My 'most moral army in the world' T Shirt has many people at this tribunal asking questions already answered by my shirt

it helg 🤠

oh HELL NO

je suis Jean-Noix de la Ville, et bienvenue à Jacquesâsse

the new Nike Air Maxes are well fit for punting a swan innit

ask your barber for the zz top to initiate hand to hand combat

thought i'd lost this

>"you can now open Power BI in teams" >click it, it opens safari >you need to use Edge to access this >neither of these things are teams >mfw

The Randy Method

going to the gym is goated because you can get sweaty and greased up BEFORE youre #gaming session

the ugliest nerds you’ve ever seen have invented a sycophantic parrot that lives inside the computer in exchange for all our money and 3” of sea level

You want to be alive, but they want you dead. We’re a new, well, funded democratic group that thinks you can meet them halfway.

how did we not see this sooner

Get in the car loser we've been fucking farting

how we help this guy

02:30: wake up. stare at the ceiling for a while, think about drywall. 02:45: prayer time, pray for more drywall. 03:15: breakfast, a big plate of drywall 03:40-05:15: workout. 05:30: post workout meal (drywall)

garçon there's a fly on the rat in my soup

lol please click this attorney’s bio www.taylordykema.com/es/edward

she p value on my width ratio till i Fill Shape

at the gym, this guy has no training wear on lol

i don't understand the "carnivore diet" people. i don't need some dork podcaster yapping to me about eating several plates of bbq at once, i already do that For The Love Of The Game

google chome

OH MY GODDDD

Monday morning routine

got a 24hr boot for skeeting “rip bozo” when bozo the clown died

From ‘The Onion’ Editorial Board: It Is Journalism’s Sacred Duty To Endanger The Lives Of As Many Trans People As Possible https://theonion.com/it-is-journalism-s-sacred-duty-to-endanger-the-lives-of-1850126997/

Rulers be like sure I'll measure your hog, I'm straight BTW

KIM KITSURAGI - "What is it, detective? Can you make it out?" BULLET - "if you read this you are gay lmao" 1. "It, um, doesn't say anything." 2. "Transgender ideology. My old foe." 3. [Espirit de Corps - Medium 10] "I think you should read it for yourself, Kim."

chat my demon core is getting awfully hot, should I ask for a refund

PAULIE WALNUTS: Ey Tone - look at 'dis new paintin' I got made for you to remember Pie-O-My by. I had 'em paint her as a broad with big tits. It's what they call a uh, an "umamusume" TONY: Get this outta my fuckin sight. [Later, to Melfi] TONY: They didn't paint her eyes kind enough.

ok but like what Happened to the trainer. What Happened To Them

Jerkin' up a storm at the function

wow how interesting esteemed colleague, tell me more about the multimillion cabin you bought

Who up flogging they foul worm until he 🅱️urps his sinful yoghurt⁉️⁉️

this cannot be real life

incredible stuff happening