I'm hoping the Jerrification is an April Fool's gag but bluesky does not do jokes.

FRANCE: we're fancy WORLD: ok FRANCE: a fried ham sandwich is our national lunch WORLD: FRANCE: a fried ham sandwich with an egg is its wife

I went to Buffalo Exchange but they said they only do clothes now

She was right to say it

The trailer for Season 4 of Reacher looks pretty good ngl

Chat is this good?

Some loving kindness for ya dumbass

yea but now’s their chance to finally catch monkey d luffy

Microdosing being a horse by asking for a water I’m not gonna drink

No one believes me, but Laura Branigan goes so hard

You can just say “blacking out”

I need to say normal things on the internet until at least wednesday

Remember when the metaverse was the future and the blockchain was the future and the google glasses were the future? I’m starting to think tech bros are just dork ass losers who have no idea what interests normal people and we should stop listening to them and giving them all the money

Mooooooooore fundraising! :) Can a girl get a little love for her campaign pls? Yuhlineforsenate.com

Neelix is in the Epstein files

Wet leggedly: all day long in the chase lounge

Do you ever think about all the different types of birds that could defeat you in a fight and just get humbled?

I wonder if this is an opportune time to talk about the advantages of renewable energy

They got snapple fedposting lmao

how is he so good at this?

Hey sharks, are you tired of touching the caulk?

This ides, the senate has the chance to do the funniest thing

they banned me from the emu farm, I’ve never felt so ostrich sized

Imagine getting tossed from a blimp. I would die.

we loved raspberries so much we made up a cooler, bluer one

Today is the first and biggest filing deadline!!!!! Please support our Senate campaign! Send your fighter back up to Albany! Yuhlineforsenate.com

Mina Kimes’s music taste is high key fire.

Readers added context: it was not

canonically, flying toasters and nyan cat exist in the same universe

I am just a silly goose, please don’t do this in my replies

they're about to drop another 220m on commercials to make getting drafted cool again

Today’s the day

Congratulations to Jay on her new role as Special Envoy for The Shield of the Blueskies

I’m big in Japan, based on this sizing chart

Remember that gators are only fast moving in a straight line, so their shuttle times are gonna be shit at the combine

As problematic as many 80’s movies were, the one thing they got right was making all the rich guys villains

why do they call them throuples and not fews?

Earhorn tiktok challenge PSA

Lily Allen married that homeless guy and this is how he treats her smh

bruh I couldnt even fix waterboy fairuza balk the fuck you mean fixing american history x fairuza balk

This battle isn’t over until the Chipotle CEO throats a whole burrito

Thinking about getting into a predicament

[Exit Murderer.]

Greg Davies: Alex, will you read the task again? Alex: push the boulder onto the yoga mat on the top of that hill. There’s nothing in there that says you can’t bring the yoga mat to the boulder at the bottom of the hill. We’ve asked Susie Dent— Sisyphus: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

what does he smell like?

this zoom has been going on forever and there's no sign of the kiss cam wtf

Sure sex is cool but have you tried 8 hours of restful sleep?

Family Freud: it's like that other game show except every survey question is "what the hell's wrong with you?"