the cool thing about being a raiders fan is that they’ve been rebuilding for 20 years so you know when it’s completed they’re gonna be sick

MAKE SOUTH WILLIAMSBURG DIY NOISE VENUES AGAIN! A NEW ERA FOR NYC, LFG @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social

I’m sorry, are you still trying to be spooky? It’s november, just be sad like the rest of us

normalize throwing progressively harder meals

hot babes in your area are gonna beat you death with a rake

Launching a Sandwich Guy dating app called Grinder

Launching a Korean dating app called Seoulmates

West Point instructor: offload the grain, keeping the fox in the boat and go back for the chicken. Then you swap the fox for the chicken… Cadet: but who’s watching the grain? West Point instructor: promote this man to general!

Any bozo talking about fleeing New York never deserved to live here, were never real new yorkers anyway, and their absence will not be felt by anyone

mr mayor elect how many *checks notes* sensual alves have you seen on the website bluesky

really looking forward to all the cops and billionaires leaving nyc

I’ve never won an argument with a cat

It’s so cuover

thank you for the outpouring of support! those of us laid off from Teen Vogue yesterday are now sharing our GoFundMe to help us cover our emergency expenses now that we've lost our incomes, as we get back on our feet.

Just a reminder of the type of coverage @teenvogue.com could have given us on Cheney if they hadn’t fired all their political staff

L’homme Depot

rip dick cheney, you would have hated the batman

A pissimist would say it’s 50% empty

I love how every picture of him looks like he wants to shoot batman with an umbrella

Pleased to report that Andrew Cuomo as a voting option is so far down the ballot they’re gonna need a spelunking rescue team to find him He’s three choices after Eric Adams and one before Mayor McCheese

Hakeem Jeffries has the sad eyes of a paternal aunt. Languid, barely holding on. After each visit, a melancholy lingers. No one sleeps. Kash Patel’s eyes are severe. His unkempt lawn houses an intense German Shepherd tied to a wire. He yells from the porch. The dog bellows back. Disharmony abounds.

lol. lmao, even

sure am gonna miss these increasingly desperate texts from andrew cuomo

tick tock it’s hotdog o’clock

To the men who are still explaining Wonder Woman to me in replies… you don’t quite get us, and that’s OK. We love you anyway.

those cavemen were really cooking when they added fire to their food prep

“General Tso’s chicken,” could be either a takeout order or a military intelligence briefing.

me, at my performance review: this is just a distraction from the esptein files

inside you is two wolves

are you saying these beetz are zazie?

catherine zeta jones did all that laser beam training in a catsuit and mfers just pull up with a ladder and a chainsaw its goddamn disrespectful

This is how I’m gonna look every time someone dislikes one of my posts.

Shut up paul

just got scared. would not recommend

Cuomo taking third behind Sliwa would be the funniest thing. Complete political flatline.

you’re saying this dungeon has crabs?

Kurt Vonnegut watches you masturbate from heaven

Turns out there are jerks on the internet now

Aragorn gently touching the shards of the Sybian that rocked Sauron's puss clean off

A coven of witches A pack of werewolves An army of skeletons An experiment of frankensteins A clowder of mummies A flappening of vampires

impaled on a malachite obelisk again, such bullshit

The most delicious part of my castle is probably the porkcullis

There are only two types of people on bluesky. Those who long to be assailed by cunty vampires and the have to live in a lavish manor home and be draped in sumptuous velvet and oh wait there’s only one type of people

I'm not trapped in here with you you're also not trapped in here with me the door is not locked. or even shut

I went to dinner with 4 people who use a knife and fork to eat their pizza please send help

I don’t know why Rockwell’s “Somebody’s Watching Me” is the number three holiday song after Monster Mash and Thriller but it just is okay and also we need more halloween songs

Where I’m posting from

Where I’m posting from