At least it’s Yacht Rock Opening Day. ⛵️

My dog died and Colbert had his last show. Today sucks.

Went to McDonald’s to get my dying dog’s favorite: French fries. This is a medium fry I guess. I’m just so fucking mad. Why is everything shitty?

All I’m saying is that if I had way too much money, I’d be opening the SuperWhoLock Amusement park. That shit would make BANK.

I have a fucking pimple on the exact middle of the bridge of my nose. If I don’t get my period in the ext two days I’m going to go Louis DeJoy.

I will always think this is SRK as I scroll by.

Pharmacy just gave my dad a prescription by accident that apparently is worth 1700 a month. Wtf America

its crazy how literally everything is worse than it was two years ago

I’ve been a DD* head since Udta Punjab. * Diljit Dosanjh

Someone just asked me if I’m “Darian’s mom.” And I don’t think Darian is a baby. And yes I know I’m well old enough to technically be a grandmother but….

Rooting for deep vein thrombosis. Let’s go DVT.

Tuned into the Met Gala. They’re already down 10-3 to the Phillies

“Can’t shake the Devil’s hand and say you’re only kidding.”

I understand that things are getting very heated and we need to ratchet down the temperature and therefore you should go fuck yourself

no I won't be toning down any rhetoric actually but they can go fuck themselves instead

I was watching UHF and now Big Trouble in Little China! How is everyone else’s Saturday?

Oh ok. For sure.

Honestly this is pathetic ha!

I have to make 14 dozen cookies for a Pittsburgh cookie table by Thursday. Holy moly.

See, if you build in your “vacation” around your job, it’s not taking vacation/time off. Remember his 5 Eyes trip? “The federal law enforcement leader detailed that (Kash) prefers meetings to take place at social events, soccer matches, while jet skiing, and during helicopter tours.”

Oh my god #er #thepitt #battleflag

This is literally how I met most of my NYC friends 20 years ago. I don’t know how to do the tweets and skeets. Please

I think we should all start blogs again. Or online journals, even. That was a nice time. Just writing a few paragraphs about your day (don't forget to list the sad song you're listening to!) and maybe your friends will leave a comment. Then you go and read theirs and comment. It was fun.

Apparently it’s going to be 91 here tomorrow. In Pennsylvania. In April. This is Mumbai level temps. Bonkers.

Can’t ever not see it.

if you wanna keep your job, don't be a fucking creep. it's really that simple.

Aaaargh Swalwell you dipshit.

Interesting decision to distract from the Iran war with the Epstein Files.

All I can think when I see Pete Kegsbreath is “Bro Magnon” - that caveman brow and accompanying dipshittery? Evolution did not reach him.

today sure feels like one of the all time ‘so i still just gotta go and do my little job during all this?!’ moments

What if the United States Congress existed?

He’s always ok and will live forever but this is fun.

Well it’s not looking great for my parent’s alma mater Illinois but my 8 year old niece has a lot of money riding on UConn.

I love that New York City seems to get a new celebrity bird every year.

So if your seat mate who has the window (and was clearly looking out it and enjoying the landscape on this late morning flight) gets up to use the bathroom, do you snap the shade shut while they are gone?

Oh my god, the alt text is a gift. 😹

Who has two thumbs and is on her way to the airport at 1 am for a 5:30 am flight?

I spent my 20s in Los Angeles in the 90s-00s. I honestly didn’t expect to see “Heroin Chic” again except it’s now legal drugs and wildly less cool.

Michael B Jordan should win, purely on, fooling me for like an hour into not knowing that there were not two people playing those roles.

Seeing Pedro Pascal without a mustache has damaged me.

Kpop Demon Hunter Oscar Win coming up!! (I’ve seen literally two movies KpDH and Sinners. Let’s go!

Search your camera roll for hell

Rein it in, Clancy. I can’t right now.

Ok finally watching Buckaroo Bonsai for the first time. And I’m having a hard time. I was not prepared for Hot Clancy Brown.

I’m on season 2 ep 3 of Paradise and honestly I don’t know if the writing makes my imposter syndrome/ inferiority complex feel better or worse. I can oractically see the 12 pt courier. I’m so sorry but this is painful.

That feeling when you watch a successful tv show and the dialogue is so… well… let’s just say it makes your inferiority complex/ imposter syndrome momentarily wither.

This man will literally destroy the world before he goes down for fucking kids. You all see this right?

Today was warm and I felt a weird sense of hope. This week is going to suck isn’t it

You can be launched by your daddy as a romantic hero in Bollywood you can be a model who gets a shot you can be discovered in a cafe. You cannot do multiple films as the literal main villain creepy af stalker and somehow segue into chocolate boy romantic lead. It does not happen.

Way can’t he frop deed