I live going over my ma's to help her and having her tell me about yet another fall, and then witnessing her fall asleep leaning forward in her chair with scissors in her hand. This is how life should be. It's by design that one work all goddamn week and then witness the dumbest shit imaginable.

When Christiane Amanpour dies, amanpour one out for her

abra abracadabra I got my nose back from grandpa

This is what they took from you

i apologise in advance for reskeeting this ad nauseam in the foreseeable future. i have needed help for awhile now. the white executives @ my FN org have been illegally withholding my pay for 18 months so far. check replies for (paul harvey voice) "the REST, of the story" ko-fi.com/depanneur

ELLEN RIPLEY BUILT THIS IN A CAVE! WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!

Not to defend Boon's if-this-then-that style for the computer's AI, but "the computer can read your movements" is dumb. The computer IS your movements in literally everything you play. This reminds me of people who would go invisible with Reptile while fighting the PC. What are you even doing?

Broadview is a concentration camp and the people who devised this as a system and the goons implementing it deserve to be hanged. It needs to be said.

Growing concerned that Boo Boo might be the world's most photogenic kitten.

We had fucking congressional hearings over Mortal Kombat.

Me when I repost my old shit or see @kennylogins.bsky.social posting my old stuff

what?

Doritos Golden Sriracha commercial Walton Goggins sounding like Lyrics Born.

They want to be sure you're getting the authentic ICE brutality experience. It's like the gold Nintendo seal. They're on some "accept no substitute" shit.

The rest of Delta Red lookin at Cammy after she promised she'd get them into the game 3 editions ago and now she's not even wearing her uniform

Oh, Dick Cheney died? Well-- *sees Bluesky mod around corner* What's really important is championing the open protocol.

Hey man, sorry I couldnt make it to your Halloween party, as I didnt hear about it until afterwards when I saw the pictures of all those people I also know having a good time there.

My mom fell again and bled everywhere, then she tells me her check engine light is on. Next she'll tell me she played the lottery and lost so bad that she now owes the state 600 million somehow.

Unhhhh isnt coming back for season 9? Nooooooo

Cocks Cocks Cocks

im told that on his death bed that dick cheney -did not- receive the light of islam and uhhh *flipping quickly through several pages on a clipboard before looking back up* i can't read any of what he actually said here. thanks for coming

🎶 Ahoys are back in town 🎶

my friend: are you going to art's party tonight? seems like you've got a lot going on me: I don't know, i feel like i got to since he's always at mine the medieval peasant i brought to our time on his second bag of guacamole doritos: might we stop for a second "jimmied john" me: sure man i guess

*Rasheed Thurmond voice* WARCRIMINAL DEAD?!

In this difficult time my heart goes out to Kamala Harris and her political strategists, who will now need a new republican monster whose endorsement they can value more than any potential support from non-war-criminal people on the left.

Dick Cheney's robot heart stopped due to an update trying to install Copilot

What breed? We're not sure but we think he's a weyland-yutani.

My friends' stupid luxury bidet decided to activate the heat mode instead of the water mode, so now it's just baking the shit onto my ass

Weapons (2025)

For a limited time, Big Boy's silverfish sandwich is only $3.99

I just really want to see a diagram of how a bullet entering the chamber is shielding the extractor from stresses that a dry close may cause, because if the whole thing is "extractor has to stop cause the bullet is in the way" then I feel like surely "extractor jamming into bullet edge" is also bad.

Guide To Pets (1/2)

OUR LADY PEACE FANS: oh hey why-e-i-e-i-e u guys are back early RAINE MAIDA: world's subway OLP FANS: ow a woo ooh RAINE MAIDA: *loading a pistol and just laughing instead* world's subway

He loves you, he would date with you He loves you, he would date with you He loves you, he would date with you He loves you, he would date with you

has she designed literally even one thing that doesn’t look like dennis reynolds drew it. it’s ok i’ll take my answer off the air and also never

(Sitting across from one of the Assassin's Guild's rockabilly waitress lookin ladies at the "Shoot Your Shot" speed-dating event) Her: SO... "Muppet Show." Me: I've always got 2 Hecklers just waiting to go off- Her: I heard it's cause you flail like Kermit when you're mad Me, arms flailing: N-NO!!!

She'd be a lot prettier if she smiled- *immediately begins choking on grape*

The reason 42 million Americans are on SNAP is because employers aren’t paying living wages.

U kno I keep that thang on me

*Aimee Mann voice* 🎶 Huuush hush, he's a Doll now; Bison's Cammy 🎶

"This was very appropriate for the time of Abraham Lincoln" and it's a picture of a hallway from Phantasm

the second best time to listen to us, believe us, and fight for us IS NOW

You hear the ads for taking night classes to get your PhD in HWJ, but what they dont tell you is that only one rowdy friend per credit hour enrolled is allowed over tonight

Somebody in this camp ain't what he appears to be. Right now that may be one or two of us. By spring, it could be all of us.

the Confederates weren’t dealt with after the Civil War. there was no true Reconstruction. the Nazis weren’t dealt with after WWII. there was no true de-Nazification. and here we are. forced to live in the racist & fascist neoliberal hellscape that was allowed to flourish due to those failures.