Clue me in as to why they're allowed to advertise these zyn things on tv apparently? There's been 3 zyn commercials on whatever show is on my mas tv now

blow my back out like shinzo abe

heard u were talkin shit like i wouldn't find out

well well well look who just tried to do a big chomp on my ear and oops!! it's toque season chummmmp. ya got played sucka!!! big bite o' hat for yr ass! beau n'appateet

I enjoy whenever an entire household is beholden to the whims of one cat This animal just standing in the living room, screaming, while the human adults explain "Sorry, Gibby likes it when we smack his ass with a cardboard tube for 10mins at 6pm every day, hold on". That is good to me.

When the polite, cultured Dr. Pepper consumes a special draught, he turns into the brutish, monstrous Mr. Pibb.

[“nobody wants to work anymore” voice] “Nobody wants to oil a snake anymore”

season's greetings! if you enjoy this clip of Frank Parker sending an innocent alien to Hell, you might also enjoy watching this very dumb video series i'm making

What is with the onlooker's eye in Above the Law when Seagal shoots the Alex Jones lookin assassin in the street? It's like ruptured or something. Looks painful.

hearing some pretty vile stuff about russell brand..... think i'll be sticking with kirkland signature. thank you

🎶Hark! the Herald Angels sing Glory to Player 2 King Training gear in which he fights High top sneakers black and white 🎶

"I'd rather be judged by 12 than eat dinner with 6."

Chris Lastmas, you gave me your heart In a benevolent way, an organ donor they say This year, I'm spreading good cheer Because of my new blood vessels

When I was young I had hopes that I would have a place where all my friends & their families could gather for holidays, like my grandparents did. Now that I'm older I mostly wish my ma would just kick it so I can spend the holiday alone because jesus a human is not supposed to be this irritating

Computer Camp is just a stale retread of Sleepaway Camp

Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas heads where you at

buying skincare for my fiancé: i am rocking a baby in my arms. i will never speak to you of harsh things. you will never know about itchy sweaters or graveyards. buying skincare for myself: i am trading shots with another elite sniper. i want you so dead they’ll have another funeral for you in hell

When you hear a sound like a turkey gobbling out "wellIcantbelievemysisterisinlovewithyou"

when some people choose between a weekly injection or daily pill to regulate their hormones so as to align their body with their desired appearance i guess it's no big deal

*"If it's Halloween, it must be SAW" preview voiceover voice* If it's every few years or so, it must be Avatar

The Cheese Wanters

im inventing 5DX where speakers in the headrest keep chattering "who is that guy" "why are they doing that" "what's happening"

[ALL] Oh! There goes Mr. Hot Shit Draped in red velour, A ring on every finger A greasy new coiffure. [FARM ANIMALS] It seems old Scrooge inherited Some secret wealth or prizes [SINGING FOOD] Don't look at him directly, proles The bling will burn your eyeses

If you pay attention to any large industry long enough and follow it to its logical conclusion you eventually end up sounding like a communist even if you started off testing CPU case fans. youtu.be/cUrJVdF2me0?...

Update: as of noon today, if you do not count James Cameron's Avatar among your favorite movies you must have a unique reason, because the old ones have been erased by highbies now

Doing a venn diagram of all of you posting pro-Avatar posts vs everyone who said "Terminator is just a movie" when I posted dire warnings about robots, and reporting the near-overlapping circles to James Cameron in exchange for a white megalodon tooth he found at the bottom of the mariana trench.

The running theme between the Epstein story, banning trans healthcare for minors, religious homeschooling and the complaints about adult children estranging themselves is a fundamental American belief that children are property with no rights of their own

Look, I was *trying* to do a Blonde Blazer run; I am simply a broken person and water finds its level ok?

of course you see them on tv all the time now but it was a really big deal back in the day for a mainstream show like ER to cast a pez dispenser

Canadians, sign this petition to stop the use of the Notwithstanding clause against trans Canadians. This is about provinces denying human rights, because trans rights are human rights. SIGN.

These people are so antisocial that they don’t think other human beings are functional, intelligent people. They assume anything they don’t understand was designed arbitrarily. And then they act on it. Our economic system incentivizes APD so much that we are ruled by people like this

my new Scorpion name is Ifritney Spears

7 year old giggling: when goku, gets super hungry, he eats like 30 meals in a row Me sounding exactly like Jesse Gemstone: I know how much goku eats

i regret to inform his fans and parasocial lovers that mister fitz has passed away. itt we will revisit his greatest hits and weirdest anecdotes

a project that I've been following forever is finally releasing and it appears someone I know may have worked on it which is extra cool and has me feeling like it will be good and I'm like aaaaagh

It's your birthday, Duane.

Elf on a Shelf is a tool designed by the oligarchs to get children not only used to, but excited about living in a surveillance state where every action they make is constantly being watched and judged. I'm not joking, I think it's actually sinister and any parent who does it is sus as fuck.

🎶 Who the fuck you think youre fuckin with Im tha fuckin BOSS velvet suit and hat, white on red that's fuckin CLAUS 🎶

Bobby Davis managing Gorilla Monsoon 🤼 The prototype of the wrestling manager, Davis very much patterned the slick, motormouth style that influenced the Heenans, Harts and Heymans of the wrestling world in later years and would be more well known, if not for a lack of footage. Ahead of his time.

@ingwit.bsky.social do you have MK11?

Should I buy the big ass wall calendar that shows me the whole year at once? Will it help to fix my life like I imagine it will?

Christmas hasn't been the same since i noticed Santa has the same handwriting as my wife

*Steely Dan Bodhisattva tune* 🎶 Bigass shotgun, wont you aim it at my head 🎶

Every time the regressive thing passes by a slim margin, making it seem like it was contentious. When elections have weird margins in authoritarian countries they are appropriately called rigged, but when it happens in the house it’s “damn, next time!”