If I was a character in a Pynchon novel my name would be Mondaynight Severalbeers

Good morning 47. Your primary objective is to infiltrate your homies apartment by way of a stroll through the park - it’s a brisk 55 outside and the colors are beautiful right now. Once inside, secure the weed. Then locate and destroy the only toilet and commence rapid exfil. Then it’s medal time.

Dream blunt rotation

Ever seen a 750-pound muskox face off with a 210-pound pumpkin? 💥 Hudson did, and won! 🏆 Catch more pumpkin-smashing, leaf-crunching, fall fun during #ZooBoo, October 18 & 19. 🎃🐾

Me: I’m few small beers-pilled. I’m ocean waves-maxxing. It’s Don’t Go Dark On Me Bob Girl Fall. My therapist (inspecting slide on massive handgun): I haven’t gotten around to the movie yet

“Let’s” potato chips are a BUY!!

For Aries: The autumnal equinox begins a fiscal quarter of humiliation. Wise travelers will keep a tanto close at hand in preparation for the final, insurmountable disgrace. Me (looking at phone, opening Sword Cabinet): oughhh…

Experiencing tornadic activity in my area

Beaming this image into deep space for whoever is out there that might want to take a look

if you'd like to see a wide re-release of Hundreds of Beavers in theaters this year, one night only, in thousands of cities — repost this. we've got some doubters.

A mysterious slender knight appears and vanishes and appears again, wordlessly guiding your party through the wood. Helmet kinda looks like this birdie

Honey habanero glaze carrot pork chop dinner, second try. Pretty good, third times the charm!

I will never stop posting pictures of my cat Richard Nixon

Who needs television

Victory once again

we used to be a fucking *country*

south philadelphia

Shawarma with leftover lamb shank from dinner the other day… Homemade tzatziki… who would like to become my wife?

Let’s continue