My nephew is telling me he’s a little teapot. Only 5 years old and already a fucking liar like his father.

I like the Nolan Batman movies but they are the worst Nolan movies

A sequel to Se7en called Ei8ht

Memento is such a perfect movie

So happy to have this guy from @octopuscaveman.bsky.social on my wall.

Took me a while but we got to a punchline eventually

red flags in men Modest Mouse Fan Thinks Skyler White was a villain Loves Buffalo 66 Listens to more than 0 podcasts Reads a lot of Bukowski or Cormac McCarthy Listens to a lot of Nick Cave or Tom Waits (specifically murder ballads and Franks Wild Years)

I feel like the only person who prefers Ministry’s synth pop album over the industrial stuff.

The Human League is one of the weirdest bands of all time

Hey remember the girl from twitter who said she wanted to have sex with a horse and then apologized and then deleted her apology and blamed “the left?” Well she’s on Facebook now and she’s gotten worse.

New lil guy I think he’s 8x10 $100

A lot of Gargamels.

madonna & child

I can’t eat at McDonald’s because it reminds me of a good friend that died named Jim McDonald. He died of diarrhea after eating at McDonald’s.

First of all, Vini Lopez didn’t say this. Second, he has a giant penis

11x14 on stretched canvas $100

11x14 on stretched canvas $100

Boner

I think they may actually be doing a parody of an @octopuscaveman.bsky.social parody

Couple of boners and a joyful lil robutt from last night

Incredible that for a minute I felt the need to go and check if this was a real quote or not. Even as I type this I'm wavering.

This thread 😂

my dad knew an old lady who swallowed a fly, and in an effort to retrieve it made a series of catastrophic decisions that ultimately led to her death

“A lot of people are saying the Smurfs are gay. I wouldn’t know. Is it Smurfs or Smurves? Marco, do you know? Smurfs or Smurves? Anyway Smurfette was hot. Wasn’t she hot? Gargamel was the bad guy on that show. That’s what’s going on with Iran right. A lot of Gargamels.”



Saw a video on pornhub called “my stepmom sucks” but I don’t know, she seemed pretty cool to me.

Channeling my inner Tramlax and exportiating my gromulents. Anyone who doesn’t understand is a Frumpulated Cramtard.

posting shit like “the Easter bunny is trans” on Facebook and when my dad’s friends try and argue with me I just reply “look it up dumbass”

Gang. GANG. Here's that Ghanian bootleg Cheers artwork you were looking for.

Headed to the beach to tell all the hot girls i just got stung by a jellyfish in my mouth

Process

When a guy gets a cream pie it should be called a sloppy Joe

Lil guys on cardboard

He’s better now

Dreamsickle LoveBot 16x20 on stretched canvas

I got this tattoo for my first grindcore band Bearded Mary. When you go to jail they ask you what your tattoos mean to determine gang affiliation. I said “that stands for Bette Midler because she’s the wind beneath my wings.” No further questions were asked.

Thought about buying this just to have the little sombrero for fun dick pics

telling my adorable daughter i'm not putting the drawing she made on the fridge because it's toddlerslop

When the car has both uber and lyft logos that's dual citizenship

Thought it would be cool if someone could take a shit for you like if you were busy of something but inevitably the rich would exploit the poor and rich people would never shit and pay poor people in India a nickel a day to constantly shit for them. If the technology is invented I won’t support it.

When you’re standing next to another guy at a urinal, you aren’t supposed to look at their dick, so you can check out their butt and nobody will know if you get a boner.

I’ve got a friend that’s a gulf war vet and he told me he used to get letters from elementary schools and one kid just wrote in crayon “thank you for dying for our sins”

Imagining a rooster in a hurry shorting cockadoodledoo to just cock.

A couple of years ago my office was getting rid of an old printer. So I disassembled it and painted on the panels.

Skeles