I apologize for mistaking your saying that you had Valentine's reservations as an invitation to rant about consumerism, making partnership a commodity, and the origin festival that involved men putting virgin's names in an urn to raffle them off. I owe you 30 minutes of your life back.

I enjoy saying hello to strangers on the street when we both pretend everything is okay for a moment and share a smile before resuming our previously scheduled existential dread. Good stuff.

I didn't see Melania but I would watch a Betty Ford documentary in a heartbeat after seeing Michelle Pfeiffer play her in that mini series about modern first ladies people will actually remember.

Gallop to stop reporting Presidential Approval Ratings after 88 years of doing so. But watch for their new measurement feature: How Many Licks Does It Take to Get to the Center of a POTUS's Ass?

This time of year I just can't get enough of Sam Cooke's Cupid. Hands down the best song about putting out a hit on an unrequited crush, ever. Violence warning: suggested murder by bow and arrow.

I am confused. Where do go in the Bluesky app to draft someone onto my team?

Somebody should make an Epstein browser plugin that redacts Trump's name everywhere you go, so you can have a nice mental health day when needed.

There's all kinds of games, assets, and tools. $5k worth for only a $10+ donation to the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota.

I have a rare kind of face blindness where I mistake most women in the Trump administration for either late in life Joan Rivers or Monchhichi dolls left outside in the sun.

Guys. I tried unplugging my ICE maker but at this point I am pretty sure this isn't my fault. I think we need Congress to do something other than drop occasional F-bombs on the topic.

If Trump is watching the actual Super Bowl halftime show, he is probably throwing rolls of paper towels at his TV.

Are we seriously to point where Science needs super bowl ads?

My dog did not seem to appreciate my true story during the karaoke commercial abut the time the Backstreet Boys & their dancers came into a dive bar I worked at with Nick's sister Ginger at the height of their fame. It usually kills when I close by making fun of how short they all were.

Has anyone seen any Craigslist ads offering $50 to watch the Kid Rock Super Bowl racism spectacular, like they did with Melania's movie?

I am looking forward to the half time show but wish they would give Bad Bunny the full amount of time to perform.

Okay. I duct taped a ball to my foot. Now what?

I wonder what Comcast/NBC/Universal calls the anti-Boo technology they deployed on their Olympic couch fucker broadcast. I hope it's Ranger Rick, or Operation Poison Picnic Basket.

I know it Super Bowl weekend, but hopefully edibles are acceptable.

The most popular event by far at the Winter Olympics this year has been the Booing of the Couch Fucker but Keenan and Kevin didn't even cover it.

Frankly, between the dangerous no helmet rule and the difficulty of keeping up with untelevised regular season games, we will probably skip the Puppy Bowl this year.

It's Bandcamp Friday and several of your favs are probably doing fundraisers for worthy causes right now, and you should go support them. Plus it's been a hard [period of time] and you honestly deserve some music or a nice ahirt.

It's @bandcamp.com Friday, where musicians get to keep 100% of their bandcamp sales. Sales is one of my many nicknames and something I would be grateful for if you are so inclined to buy some of my songs: michaelsalamonemusic.bandcamp.com

I Love U Liike RFK Loves Kids Getting Measles. #2026ValentineHeartts

After seeing the potential Muppet Show reboot this week, I am staunchly in favor of replacing all "news" anchors and pundits with Muppets instead of the current system of puppets.

I decided to have a personal account on top of my account I went anonymous with. Maybe I will find old friends easier. Plus I should plug things from time to time. Cheers.