I should probably try to get into the world cup, but I am just so much comfortable singing Tom Petty's Free Ballin'.

I have been really sad and down in the dumps, but knowing even my worst gigs were bigger than America's 250th has cheered me up more than I thought possible into today's world. Thanks, DC.

I used to host long form improv comedy jams in an illegal upstairs theater with no sign at 9pm on a weeknight that routinely doubled this attendance

Trans rights are human rights, and if trans folks don't have full Constitutional rights, none of us do. Rule of law is dead and buried.

To quote Donna Summer, I assume paraphrasing Karl Marx, 🎶I love to love you, baby (Ah, honey) I love to love you, baby (Love to love you baby) I love to love you, baby (Ahh)🎶

Feeling especially old after realizing my first album will be 25 years old on the same day the USA turns 250. I flew the @adbusters.bsky.social corporate symbols instead of stars US flag while performing at the release party. I wish I still had one of those. Now more than ever.

I came close to starting a church around 2016ish and specifically reached out to drag performers to welcome them. It was probably a selfish ploy to up the Sunday church hat game. -Another mission I ultimately couldn't afford, but Christian Socialism is a thing and we need safe space to congregate.

I would like to publicly thank the afternoon thunderstorms for knocking mowing the lawn off my to-do list tonight. Gratitude.

I always liked seeing comic Tom Dreeson on @letterman.bsky.social growing up and hearing his rat pack stories and bits. RIP.

To honor America's 250th Trump has BEEN saluting the film Independence Day by actively destroying the Whitehouse, piece by piece.

Today was my dog's birthday (15!) but they didn't demand half naked violence in the lawn for entertainment. Just cuddles and tasty treats. There were no bribes or weird vibes. Just love. Anyhow, I think you can judge a creature on how they choose to celebrate their existence.

Oh, yuk. I just realized my interspecies life partner, or dog as many would say, shares Trump's birthday. The canine will be 15. I guess that's 105 in humanity time. And she would still make a better POTUS. For real. She is smarter, and has empathy for humanity.

The breaking news about Trump buddies Elllisons... Paramount being approved to swallow up Warner... It got me singing one of my own songs tonight. Maybe you will want to sing along with me?

If elected President, on day one I will replace the Whitehouse UFC arena with free water slides and fair food boiths.

Walking my dog this evening a kindly stranger asked if they could say hello, and of course the doggie was all about it. The stranger asked if the dog was a he or a she and I replied, "They can't speak English, so I really don't know their preference." Happy Pride, y'all.

I don't know where else to vent this, but this rabid Whovian much preferred the Moffit tenure over Russle T. Davies, who was a bit cheesy for my liking. I am cool with a break between Doctors if they find a less schmaltzy leader to helm the TARDIS & its Doctor.

My interspecies life partner has never had any behavioural issues throughout their 15 years of life, except around pizza. They cannot be trusted around pizza. Sorry, Lucifer, that you blew your grace over humans having free will and souls, when most animals do. You effed up there, buddy.

I have a very rudimentary understanding of physics, but I could probably identify Olivia Newton John in a lineup.

I honestly have never liked big butts, but because I wouldn't ever want to body shame anyone, have been silent on the issue for decades. Until now. Happy pride month. Be yourself.

I have a new album of songs I made at all the places online that sell or stream music. If not today, by the weekend. Pardon the self promotion but apparently you're supposed to let people know about these sort of things.

I have a new album of songs I made at all the places online that sell or stream music. If not today, by the weekend. Pardon the self promotion but apparently you're supposed to let people know about these sort of things.

I didn't even celebrate this year because I didn't feel up to the clean up after filling the sink full of mayo.

He has risen, emptied his bladder, went back to sleep, risen again and now has made a pot of coffee, if you want some.

This is the calendar end to my faith, where the State murders the kind man who asked everyone to feed, clothe, house & give healthcare to each other. I don't get Into that weird and judgey post apocalyptic stuff after the zombie scene. I just like the red text when the kind man speaks. Happy Easter.

I would give it an acceptable Friday at best so far.

It feels like my government, my devices, and every corporation is obsessed with getting me to confide in robots, get my art and literature from robots, and masturbate to cartoon robots. I don't even like other humans that much but I sure do prefer them.

Pfft. This is a holiday for armatures. I'm a fool every damn day.

I don't think it is only a spectrum thing that I fail to understand a lot of other humans. I have neighbors who have had their Easter decorations up all year in their yard, and just today, a little over a week until Easter, took them down. Baffled.

I give up. My own mother just texted me about a new singer songwriter she liked and it was an AI not a human. She had no idea that it was a cartoon. Art is being murdered.

On this day in 1968, Joni Mitchell's debut studio album, Song to a Seagull, was released. The album reached #88 in the United States. Only one single was released from the album, Night in the City.

Val Kilmer's family licensed his likeness to AI to appear in movies. Tina Turner's licensed her to a hologram company. Barbara Streisand clones her dog. There is no more rest in peace. Capitalism won't let death stop them from monetizing you. No rest. Dance, monkey dance. Forever and ever, Amen.

I am going to rewatch the Capaldi era of Doctor Who for the anti war monologues. But it starts with a time traveling dinosaur and interspecies lesbian love. Like any good story.

Reading the news, I just shouted at the top of my lungs, "EAT A BAG OF DICKS, MOTHERFUCKERS!" Then I remembered that I have a song where those are the only lyrics and let my heart rate normalize.

More like The Entirely Too Public Lives of Mormon Wives.

As it was foretold, Death had to wait until Chuck Norris was too old to roundhouse kick anymore.

With vaccinations at an all time low, please mask up to protect yourself and others from March Madness.

I am no linguist, but the best way to celebrate the equinox is probably to saddle and ride an ox.

Now that we know SkyNet is real, I spend a lot of time wondering who our John Connor is and if they are managing to stay alive.

They disqualified my office pool March Madness bracket sheet because I had Trump University slated to win it all. I thought everything was powered by bribes and gambling now. My bad.

Video podcasts are just homemade talk shows without musical guests and joke writers.

For an authentic St. Patrick's Day experience, don't get drunk. You need to load your car up with snakes and drive them out of town.

Tuned into the plastic surgery walk of shame so I don't miss Conan's monologue.

After the BAFTA/BBC ordeal, the Academy Awards producers couldn't find a person with Tourette syndrome willing to sit near a microphone. They have invited Mel Gibson to offer racist and homophobic content instead.

You gamble on your March Madness. I gamble on my March sadness. Not at all the same, bro.

I just had a virgin Bloody Mary and I think I liked it more than I like regular Bloody Marys. Does that mean I am in the Trump Epstein Files now? Do I have to wear a tacky red trucker hat? I should have just had an orange juice. FML.

My apologies to anyone in WNY. This snow is my fault. I put my shovels away before St. Paddy's. I should have known better than thumbing my nose at the universe.

The original title to this 2015 instrumental was Phil & Molly because I kept telling Chad Lenig, the drummer who played on it, that the inspiration should be listening to Phil Collins while rolling on ecstasy. But those were more hopeful times and it became...

It is Friday the 13th? Wow. I couldn't tell since everyday is a horror show nowadays.

Tonight I realized that the old @adultswimcentral.com show Newsreaders is now our news reality, except it doesn't make me giggle anymore.

I hate reading about the so-called male loneliness epidemic mostly because I can never get enough alone time. I like to read, write, play music, cook, paint and nap. Maybe these dudes would like themselves more if they did that stuff instead of sexisms and racisms.