Happy to say I got through the part with the big spider.* *unfocused my eyes and shot at the big blob until I was sure I would never see it again

Slightly different approaches to lyrics but the same message:

Researchers believe Leisure Suit Larry feels real shame when he is called a pervert within his game.

I am neutral on Sublime but I will always take the opportunity to praise their brilliant cover of the “Hong Kong Phooey” theme song which features Bradley Nowell doing a very good “ffffanriffic!” that would’ve made Scatman Crothers proud. youtu.be/YEiXJ7hVQus?...

Locking eyes with Jonathan the Tortoise after he faked his death to get out of the limelight

"Banned from me own subreddit...Jamesy, get me back in there!"

We got Mario and Sonic movies and now we need a Bubsy movie made for Tubi with Eric Roberts as the voice of Bubsy

Toblerone Thursdays With Alan Partridge

“NASA, this is Artemis II. We’re trying to get Monster Truck Madness running on the computer but it’s not working. It says it should run without a 3D accelerator but it keeps crashing when we try to race. Do we need a pentium processor? Can we put one in?”

I’m waiting on the moon with a baseball bat. Tell ‘em to land if they got the guts.

Fake. I’ve seen SpaceX launches. They’re supposed to explode.

WAIT YOU FORGOT YOUR LUNCHES

If it’s good enough for Big Bill, it’s good enough for me.

PADDY: “Everyone knows there are four horsemen. What this song presupposes is…maybe there’s five?”

They just wheeled two giant crates marked “croutons” into Artemis II. Something’s not adding up. Why would they need that many croutons in space? I’m getting a bad feeling. There are hidden agendas at play here.

That one person is the kid from Old Yeller with a gun to shoot anyone who gets it.

🚨🚨 Major Announcement!! 🚨🚨

I’ve backed out of the Artemis II launch. NASA has broken contract and won’t let me take my Far Side comics into space. They said I could if they were kept in vacuum-sealed bags but then how would I read them?? I’m not willing to compromise on this. The mission will still continue but it will SUCK.

Anyone attempting to make an April Fool out of me just know you will be violating the Geneva Convention and will probably have to stand before the court at The Hague but go ahead have your fun.

When Lana came out as trans I remember Lilly saying if anyone said anything about her sister that she didn’t like she’d break a bottle over their head. Such a simple and beautiful sentiment and I live by it. If anyone says anything about trans people I don’t like I will break a bottle over your head

they’re calling it the most “headliner never showed up” music festival in history

This is when the demon took hold of him

“giving no quarter to the greens” is pure Alan Partridge

*I pull a lever trapping Radiohead in the studio and pull out a gun* “Thom, give Jonny the H in your name.”

Why do we need a PS6 already look how good this couch in Resident Evil 9 looks, how much better could couches possibly get

Why do adults have trouble not watching a Harry Potter show. You’re adults and it’s a show for kids. Watch an R-rated movie they are great

Whoa

Not funny. This happened to my friend Bronco.

Losing my shit over Joe Pesci's tiny little arms in this Netflix thumbnail

Already a lot of great hallways in the new Resident Evil…let’s keep ‘em coming

Sad, sad news. I am in the process of mocking up some missing person flyers and you can rest assured I will be somberly…makin’ copies.

I think the most appropriate way to describe the lyrics to Cat Stevens’ song “New York Times” is “fucking psychotic”

I have some sad news: Rob Schneider has been declared MIA. He was pushed out of a helicopter into enemy territory by his squad for being too annoying. A court-martial has ruled that this action was justified. The US is advising any potential captors that he has negative trade value.

Only one good airline

Los Angeles isn’t real but Michael Mann imagines it so vividly that you believe it could be

In HEAT 2 they should show Vincent’s skeleton from COLLATERAL still riding around LA on a train I think that would be a fun Easter egg for Mann fans.