Michael Shannon remains a Real One (art by Aaron A. Alvarez)

Maybe she should just study

The following is a transcript of a voicemail sent to an anonymous recipient by Alan Patridge in 2021 after the premiere of NO TIME TO DIE: “[sobbing]They blew up Bond, Lynne. They fi—[muffled unintelligible chocolate chewing]—and he exploded. Blow me up, Lynne. Send me home. [sobbing, chewing]”

Writers are stuck working on a sequel to Springsteen movie Deliver Me From Nowhere. "The last time we heard about the Chicken Man, he was blown up and his house was blown to smithereens. How will they explain Bruce having more songs for another album?" bsky.app/profile/will...

James Bond got blowed up and the credits still ended with “James Bond will return.” That’s all the logic you need. Everything is canon, it never needs to be addressed, and James Bond will always return.

The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover skins have been added to Fortnite

“I paid you buffoons to paint my rumpus room not each other!”

I loved the first two episodes of Pluribus and its ingenious concept (what if a genre show was smart and made really well by good people and was fun to watch)

Walter Matthau

Live look at Elon jumping in people's replies today

Every single time Elon tries to talk about a movie I think of this scene from Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa

Enough time has passed that the truth can come out: Gordon Lightfoot placed and detonated three satchel charges on the hull of the Edmund Fitzgerald to sink it. He wanted a tragedy to sing about and manufactured one.

I am studying. I will save you America

One lucky fan who listens to ZUMA today will win a Danger Bird trained by Neil himself!

Kinda burying the lead here that he opens with “I state your name” this dude’s brains are oatmeal

The Jeff Lynneification of Beck has begun

“Now let’s kick this festival off right with the man of clay with something to say. Riyadh, make some noise for Gumby!”

Well The Predator blew up the Chicken Man with his shoulder-mounted Plasmacaster last night

The energy I’m bringing into the rest of the weekend

The greatest title screen and arguably the greatest moment in all of gaming is when you start The Three Stooges NES game and it opens with the Ghostbusters 2 logo and then The Three Stooges walk out and realize they’re in the wrong game

This year marks the 40th anniversary of my favorite feel-bad movie so I drew a poster for the occasion.

*me sailing back to the Roanoke settlement and thinking it’s the word CROUTON carved into a tree* “It appears they all went out to get salad.”

Please cut them a break…they’re so busy firing everyone making it for trying to unionize that they don’t have time to make it

Me singing in the tub while I’m taking my daily broth bath:

I want to go here and order their stupidest coffee

Pondering important things

“Did you catch the elections last night?”

The sun rises on New York City. The night rats clock out as the morning rats ready their punch cards. Slimer and David Byrne take their usual table at the Carnegie Deli. A steam whistle blows from the open windows of the Law & Order factory. Abel Ferrara. There’s a warm buzz felt in NYC today: hope.

I would like to wish America well in its elections and I hope the results help you become less evil.

“New York” is trending because everyone is demanding a faithful restoration and translation of the 1987 Japanese noir mystery masterpiece JB HAROLD: MANHATTAN REQUIEM.

I hate that Stephen Sommers was treated like an unserious hack when he was making movies like DEEP RISING and THE MUMMY yet even now when they’ve been reclaimed as wonderfully schlocky and fun b-movies, he’s barely mentioned or asked to return when one is revived. Let’s give this guy his due.

I’m Canadian but if I was voting in New York elections I would always vote for the candidate who most seems like they would listen to the radio show from The Warriors

Due to obvious reasons, my Small Wonder rewatch podcast with Dick Cheney will be on hiatus until further notice.

“I keep having a nightmare. It’s the first World War and I’m in the trenches. A yellow fog is coming with the wind. Mustard gas. I reach for my mask but it ain’t there. You know what is? A sandwich. And brother, it smells like mustard too.” - Jim Caviezel as Greg Lairmore in SIC SANDWICH TYRANNIS

This is the real man Gumby was based on, Elmer “Gumby” Gumberson who was Art Clokey’s opium dealer.

Kids playing GoldenEye 64 in 1997: wow I thought he was merely a traitorous villain but I do understand how Alec would seek revenge after his parents who were promised asylum by the British government were handed over to the Soviet Union to be executed instead.