only just struck me that one of the final lyrics in Mambo No. 5 is "you can't run, you can't hide." feels like that should kind of change the tenor of the song a bit. especially given that he is listing people

in these guys' minds, Medicare For All is such a winning issue that it can carry a "small group of radical extremists" to total victory. they believe all they'd have to do to cut off the DSA at the knees would be to endorse it. and they still refuse to

Every day this guy does something like this and every day the same people who dress him up as a terrifying commie destroyer of civilization do a dozen things to sabotage the public good, to murder and destroy and hate and kill, and I can't anymore handle those who won't see the clear difference.

We are all going to have so many kinds of diarrhea

list complete! fun time

I’m finally going to listen to my doctor and eat more vegetables and get more fresh air

man it’s a hot one

you can practically see the defense lawyer whispering in his ear

this episode is so funny

gotta imagine the Don't Pay Attention to Politics folks are kind of tired of hearing stuff like "don't get the side salad or you might die of Super Diarrhea"

the White House defended the aircraft's safety? pretty sure it's supposed to be the other way around!! folks,

the ceiling appears to be dripping blood and oil. my next move is obvious: i must say “hello?” in a thin, warbly voice

im not playing a game called lies of P. im P. that was a lie. i am playing a game called lies of P. april fools. click my head

one thing's for sure: we all love to read "rising hostilities" and "easing tensions" every single day of our lives

in today's age of corruption and grift, you have to practice talking to journalists for multiple hours a day to be a first-chair whistleblower

our space station will be the Death Star: a state of the art self-sustaining satellite capable of destroying planets in a single attack. and to carry our infantry, we will have AT-ATs, which are like a giant robot version of a newborn horse. much slower though. those get two guns

That is very dangerous to say, and harmful to the movement. A very dark thing to intone, and dare I say, Trumpesque. fuck this guy

dr jekyll: i can't operate on this man. he's me

The foundational lie of Trumpism (and I’m using that word precisely to refer to the ideology of intellectual types who defend him), from day one, has been the claim that good character is a “luxury belief” and nothing more than cover for the wealthy to punish the poor. This belief is evil.

jesus shooting out the bottom of a water slide, bouncing on the surface, turning around midair and saying “toodle-oo” as he launches straight up to heaven

was late for a meeting during bad weather earlier today. i forgot my umbrella, but a stranger ran with me and held his above the both of us. we even had a robust conversation about healthcare. thanks for the help Senator Mitch McConnell

(movie trailer voice) and he brought something with him

I love how they expanded on the story in this game.

a head FULL of hair? sounds scary

welcome to the game room we got fun and games we got any game you want so you can play the games

one thousand old men yell at cloud

it's crazy when you see a photo for the first time and recognize it's gonna be used as a shorthand for the era you're living in right now by historians in 100 years

Today we celebrate the PDFing of "Declaration FINAL v3 USE THIS ONE - SIGNED.docx" (Jefferson's draft was heavily edited by the Committee, then again by Congress, and he was big mad about it.)

Smoking on that shit that makes you Gary for the rest of your life

love when they cut to a guy in a suit on his phone at the world cup. he’s got business he must accomplish. international style

saw a truck for a company called Absolute Chimneys and I can’t stop saying that to myself as if I’m an English soccer announcer calling a free kick that sailed over the crossbar

me when i see scrambled eggs on the menu: meh. i can make that at home. not worth the money me when i see an egg scramble on the menu: ohoho. well well well. perhaps that is to my fancy

going to the spa and they want to scrub me. they want to peel me. they want to steam me. what am i, a freakin carrot lol (getting really scared) am i a carrot

People have to stop saying “real feel” about the weather it sounds like a trademarked thickness of condom.

"Reports of my death are greatly underexaggerated." - Mitch McConnell

opening the door and immediately doing the encumbered walk

JOKER: Not so fast, Bat-JERK! My LAUGHBangs will leave you BLIND as a BAT! BLUESKY BATMAN: Oof. Many people suffer from reduced vision. Not funny. JOKER: It's like, it's a pun. It's just wordplay. BLUESKY BATMAN: Sorry if I'm not in the mood for "jokes" while SCOTUS shreds our constitutional rights

voters: alright dems, we are sick of these goons. we're ready to see what you've got. hit it cory booker: okay well let's start with the obvious. you should have to show your id to go on the computer

read Le Guin's The Farthest Shore for the first time. unsurprisingly phenomenal, accessible without coddling. its theme of the corrupting influence of greed is especially keen, and highly recognizable in about a thousand public figures today. you can practically hear them gloat in much the (1/2)

i never should have gone back to school

heaven forbid is a quaint little turn of phrase to throw into your mob enforcer monologue

if you walk by someone on the sidewalk and they say “twisty tyler” and spin around before you look away, you have to switch destinations with them

romans were successful in spreading their coinage due to their military might, their administrative skill, and their rewards program which offered points on every purchase

Yesterday I got to hear a man with the strongest Boston accent I’ve ever heard say “steak tartare.” There is still beauty in the world.

everyone’s always putting a lyric in their pop song telling the dj to turn it up. nobody ever says “dj put it back to normal now.” i do love the idea of a dj being surprised the artist always asks them to turn it up though. “man i can never get it loud enough for rihanna. maybe next time”

this is not the kind of moral leadership you expect from a former criminal defense attorney for the tobacco industry

Did the New York Times just BOTH SIDES Ken Paxton's sweetheart deal for a child sex predator. Yes, yes it did.