Today is another day. Bitch.

Told myself I'm pretty today since you forgot. You're welcome.

I bring confusion to the table.

Obviously, the world takes offense whenever I feel them butterflies [that I get from simple and silly things btw] -- they get murdered right away.

Leave me alone and let’s buy lotto tickets ffs I’m taking video

What? This life isn't cancelled yet? There's not even a plot anymore. Smh.

For today's words of wisdom -- 1080p is enough. That's all.

Ate breakfast. Pooped. Now I'm hungry again. This life is shit.

I can't get the sleepy out from behind my eyes

I'm emotionally damaged. Give me forever to cope, bitch.

Lol I hate everyone.

I don't know who needs to hear this but nobody cares.

they always kick you when you’re down. weird flex but okay

She was a 10 but claimed something hurt her "fillings"

I’m at my most badass when I pick up stuffed animals in stores that have fallen on the ground and put them back with their friends.

Nothing feels like home anymore.

Woke up like this -- tired and annoyed.

I’m not a stupid fucking idiot but every time I read epitome I pronounce it like epitome

I’m on emotional airplane mode until further notice.

Want some of this?! Offering my emotional baggage.

Say aura one more time, motherfucker.

Things don't grab my interest as much as what someone thinks

Unpopular opinion but I believe violence is the answer sometimes

he may be dead, but he's still a dick.

I only repost assholes like me.

I've been using this moisturizer for nearly a year now and I just noticed it looks like cum.

I have watched all the underworld movies even as the plot kept getting dumber and dumber. That's how loyal I am to kate beckinsale's cuntiness.

You can follow me but I’m not sure I’m going anywhere.

Genius camping idea: stay home.

There should be a “skip to the point” button for conversations.

The abyss called. Your screams are noted.

can’t. busy seeing how many costco blueberries I can fit in my pee hole

Spring forward, Fall back into seasonal depression.

Everybody's so performative . Everybody's so fake.

why do they call it “junk” i use it every day

Just as I thought -- we're all pieces of shit.

I wish I cared about anything as much as Heidi Klum cares about Halloween.

How to opt out of being perceived

I was voted spookiest bitch at bingo last night, just like the prophecy foretold

"The power of haircut..." [cuts whole head off]

Sometimes I lie awake at night worried that someone, somewhere is going to discover I don't care about gravy.

The devil plays tic tac toe with your hashtags.

One thing we don’t talk about Napoleon is his great sense of humor.

Imagine you wanna die and you get an extra hour being alive lmaooo

Oh my god, suspenders, where have you been all my life!

i hate the player AND the game (solitaire)

an entire extra hour in which to pretend that my life make sense

Mood stabilizers? Hoe about life stabilizers?

the spider with the human arm tattoo

But what will we tell the demons who fell in love in the heat of our embrace?