Just another day of [rightfully] hating people.

The broken toys all fell into the same toy box.

will anything be fergalicious again

Oh, time is of the essence? Go fuck yourselves then.

Just remembered this particular thing at my work isn't really my concern. So Imma just do my job and let these suckers who are paid higher worry about it.

ok, whatever, where’s my pipe

Should I hold on or let go, I never know what to do with my hands.

We should not have any more of this week

road raging boner is this anything

becoming a conscientious objector to getting out of bed

Saw that my co-workers got engaged. Ew.

Hold on. Did I just dream about grocery shopping last night?

Googled 67 and I still don't get it.

Respectfully, today is gonna suck.

Everybody wants to rule the world. Except me -- I wanna burn it.

Still alive on this hill. [Dammit!]

These bangers ain’t just gonna bang themselves

What are we even doing here?

The first person to say okie doke must've felt like a god.

Oh that confused look. Its genetic.

🎵 Imagine all the people...🎶 *projectile vomits*

"But you made it somehow." Yeah, and it was unpleasant. You're not inspirational, you're annoying.

You can just announce anything. The “it is with great sadness” is implied.

I hope I survive the zombie apocalypse long enough to see two zombies making out so I can yell ‘GET A TOMB’.

I learned something about someone and now idk what to do with the info.

I think a little poison will make me feel better.

Mincing words on Bluesky is known as “skeeting around the bush.”

I don’t mean to brag, but I haven’t deactivated in months

I'm a cunt because nobody deserves my kindness.

You know what? I should be more hostile.

Got my hair did today. Would be really funny if I finally die later. Lol.

Don't you dare bolognese my spaghetti

"Timezones are weird." They're not. Maybe you're just dumb.

the basket of garlic bread stays on the bed during sex

Celebrating the end of December as if there aren't 11 other months that also end.

Yes, I'm home by 7:30 on nye. Get off my lawn!

I was gonna make one of them bucket lists, but it turns out I don't want to do anything, really.

People are so cute. Cause they'll be like, "Happy new year! Yay! Here's more pollution!"

Where are the new year penises???

Farting tunes of wisdom

Just another blah morning

Snow outside, fire inside.

I've never faked an orgasm but I have faked my death a couple of times.

Happy new year. Hope this is your last.

Being completely unaware of everything around you is a significant commitment, but it’s my cross to bear

An Old Dog teaches himself New Tricks

I’ve been stuck on demon mode since Halloween and idk how to turn it off

Unnecessarily loud and annoying for a mere change of a single digit in the year. And you'll still be the same cunt that you've always been.

Another shitshow ends, another shitshow starts.

Good lord, the year end schlongs are coming. 😭