I can’t swallow my pride I’m on a diet

"Mya you can't legally run for Empress of America" Why are you still pretending the rules are real? What's real is what we act on and what's respected.

When I'm Empress of America, I promise to listen to scientists, experts and heavily peer reviewed studies when making decisions about everything. (Mya for Empress of America)

asexual who calls porn “fuckslop”

so many paintings of Jesus are white because the Catholics believe he becomes a cracker every Sunday

I am almost every minority at once. MYA FOR EMPRESS OF AMERICA

Have you I say HAVE YOU Even FUCKIN considered Tiny pancakes in a bowl? That's why you should considere me for the next Empress of America.

Y'all still fuckin around like you are

No matter how bad it gets, the fact that we're not just gonna sit down and fuckin take it gives me the smallest smidgen of pride in being an American.

Pretending to go to the leftist meeting so my FBI agent checks my phone camera and sees my sweaty girl cock.

Letting my ops know that I know that they know.

My anxiety has me constantly panicking about nothing. Could you imagine if something bad and real were actually happening to be paranoid about? Good thing everything is fine and theres nothing to worry about 😇

I need to put my phone down and just zone out more. That's when I think of the best skeets.

Might try this. I may get strange looks. But it might be worth a try. 😏😏😏

Things will be fine, not ok and definitely not good but fine. You can technically survive.

How do you text your roommate asking if they'll be home soon without tipping off that you just wanna watch porn with the volume up

It's okay One day They'll be part of the soil and trees And we will have donr it

It needs to be socially acceptable to bark back at strangers dogs. They're trying to have a conversation with me and society wants me to ignore them 😤

I don't actually have a tail to wag but sometimes when I'm excited I get s boner. I can wag that :3

One time when Inwas like 18 at my first job, I was really burned out, had a long day at high school then a long day at work, So my brain was just not working. After ringing a muscular bald dude out I accidentally say to have a nice day ma'am. Manager starts laughing, I apologize, but...

So I told my bf to bring his tazer if he's gonna be meeting dudes from grindr. His lil petite femboy ass is confused as to why. Then I find out he puts that he likes nature walks so mofos are trying to take him to the woods now! Good lord my bf is snuff bait 😑

Ever since I transitioned I've been far more comfortable walking around the house in a T shirt and underwear.

Everything's gonna be okay. Well... not for everybody. Most things will be okay. Well... that might be a stretch. Half of the things will be okay. Actually... I can't promise that. Some things will be okay. .... Okay?

More “let me work on that” than “that’s just the way I am” type of person

We can suck on each others faces if thats what you want.

My toast fell butter side up. I still threw it away.

Don't worry, I'll continue being silly, I know you need it :3

*Boops you as you scroll by*

Black people five years ago: you know, they can kill anyone they want to out there Everybody today: hot damn, did you know they can kill anyone they want to out there?

We're dealing with actual monsters. And you know what? I don't think I've ever heard a story where they face a genuine monster and debate it into submission.

i love to come on here and be stupid and make lame jokes about how much i want to eat but the news is making it almost impossible. trying to just be an idiot when our govt is murdering people on the streets in cold blood. i am at a loss

Ok I'm going on a date later, do I dress as witchy hippie or baddest bitch? If you say both then you misunderstood the assignment

You'll never take me alive! I'm not gonna end myself or anything. You're just bad at your job.

I'm clicker trained to smoke weed.

A girl with a lisp who becomes an actress for a play and is really confused when girls celebrate so hard about her being a thesbian

This is a good puppy. Come on, everybody! Tell her she's a good puppy!

My goal is to not let the fbi have a single pic where I'm NOT looking straight at their camera.

! Trans creators and activists are being targeted by the FBI. One, Tara, was told she was “propagating radical gender ideology” and “domestic terrorism.” Rose’s analysis: the feds are targeting politically engaged trans people to find something “illegal” to “make an example out of us.”

*stares at you autisticly*

No new pictures where are you at mentally?

No new pictures where are you at mentally?

Ok I gave into the peer pressure (practical and sound logic) and asked the doctor for injections. Now I need everyone to call me a good puppy cuz I'm scared actually >_<

So how do I get a bsky check mark?

Wanna see a magic trick??? I somehow conjured money into my bank account.... Now watch... as it, DISAPPEARS to doctors and medication payments!

Unshowered. Showered. Stinky. Fragrant. Bleh 🤢 Ahhhh 😇 Smelly (bad) Smelly (good) Musky. Perfumed.

Get someone to suck them! Problem solved!

I was literally the only person I knew who genuinely enjoyed Ice Ice Baby, And now no one I know including me fucks with Vanilla Ice. Throw him on the list of washed up performers who sucked trump's shriveled limp tiny decomposing spray tanned fake gold old cold moldy and non functional dick.

If I delet a post that means you gotta forget it too! >_<