for posters this is like winning a pulitzer

Ah. I see the problem now.

i apologize for this afternoon's outburst. this is what happens when i do not have a full-time job. i need to be kept occupied for the safety of our community spaces

...you know i used to think the "reading comprehension on this site is piss-poor" "how dare you say we piss on the poor" tumblr post was a joke

This was a well-written and thoughtful article so naturally the replies and quotes are filled with people accusing the author of supporting eugenics.

Please listen closely, as our menu options have changed. To be connected to a bot that will just annoy you and not help, press 1. To be connected to a bot that will just annoy you and not help, press 2. To be connected to a bot that will just annoy you and not help, press 3. To be connected to a bot

this is a good website for me because I do really enjoy it when people respond to a joke with "is this some kind of fucking joke?!"

update: i have four mangoes

What else is new

Excellent dog, my bad for assembling wrong but it still works

me after I sow:

irresponsible. everyone knows Claude is better for child-rearing

i'm trying to settle an argument. what's the most millennial engagement bait?

reupping this one more time because i didn't get a chance to say arb x orb

bought six mangoes at costco just in time for my kids to decide they don't like mango right now but that's okay because now. i have six mangoes

This @amybrown.xyz piece at @oaklandreviewofbooks.org is full of banger lines that made me laugh out loud but is also touching and lovely at the same time. www.oaklandreviewofbooks.org/picky-book-r...

Lmao. Been there, brother.

you can sing “shiba at the Costco” to the tune of girlfriend in a coma by the smiths. thanks

if the headline of this article made you mad, you should try actually reading it before yelling at me. it’s not even paywalled. thanks

Genuinely obsessed with this new @coyotemedia.org page for pet obituaries. petobits.coyotemedia.org

subscribe to my email list if you'd like to receive no emails for six months and then suddenly get one with the subject line "tits out at the NICU" at 11am on a random monday: buttondown.com/amybrown

big day for me. my essay published and the ant guy is here (the guy who sprays for ants) (not paul rudd ant man) (ant guy)

A book review that not only makes you want to pick up the book, but reconsider your relationship with birth trauma, your mother, her mother, and mozzarella cheese sticks all at once. (complimentary)

i wrote about my increasingly large son who only wants to eat a beefy five layer burrito from taco bell

Picky-eating American children are afflicted with a form of privilege we don't talk about enough: not-dying privilege. To explain, @amybrown.xyz kicks off our TASTE week: www.oaklandreviewofbooks.org/picky-book-r...

Six year old said he wants to be named Bill. Is this gender

monday cancelled on account of i frew up

ok i chuckled www.epicfurious.com

the definitive millennial album is the jay-z/linkin park album

happy mothers day to this person

got suspended from nextdoor again and I swear to god I didn’t even do anything this time

my son (4): i love you a hundred me: i love you a hundred and one my son: well i love you a trillion me: well i love you two trillion my son: NO! you can't keep doing that!!

we went to meet the cats at cattown oakland :)

need it on a mom crewneck sweatshirt stat

im like dropping hints that im a mom and it’s my day

Opening a lucrative PR firm where for $100k I will hand my wealthy clients a note that says “stop commenting for stories like this”

The Pike’s Peak Humane Society has a social media manager who is very good at their job

If you see a weird-looking dog you have to tell me immediately. If I find out any of you have been looking at weird-looking dogs without involving me I might never forgive you.

I am no longer suspended from Nextdoor and am excited to bring you this comment from a post about Berkeley planning to build 6 townhomes on the site of an abandoned gas station

we got the dog an indoor fountain to encourage him to stop submerging his head in the outdoor fountain

Usually the onion is funny but this is a miss. This has happened to my cousin Tebney & we have no recourse

[local news anchor voice] cut off by a dog? it’s more common than you think

[fox news voice] in california you look over and you’re getting cut off on the freeway by a dog driving a prius

old mans

This dog was a three term mayor of Whoville.

saw a baby blue cybertruck and involuntarily screamed

sorry to christopher nolan but this is the best adaptation of the odyssey

Is it a bad sign if an ominously slowed down version of my leitmotif starts playing when I arrive at the grocery store