frog

Musicals are my personal hell. Knock off that singing and dancing shit and advance the plot, my ADHD is kicking in

MattressFirm what the fuck

*extremely exaggerated eye roll* here comes that Santa Ana wind again

MattressFirm what the fuck

Is this bad? I think this is bad. notepad-plus-plus.org/news/hijacke...

Panthers hockey thoughts: 🧵

Once again, we have the bad guy from Roadhouse

Me, when someone wants to go to Disney

Super Bowl is coming so I gotta remind everyone that the official Cheetos account on Twitter blocked me. (Not really adult content btw)

Who up grounding they hog?

He's about to start shit at the Double Deuce

The French Mistake

Man Who Thought Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’ Was Over In For Thrill Of His Fucking Life https://theonion.com/man-who-thought-fleetwood-macs-the-chain-was-over-in-for-thrill-of-his-fucking-life/

Too many people watching the grammys and not enough people snapping beans with their grammy.

The Sunday scaries hitting early today

Simon Hanselmann

I've had three cups of coffee and about to release Dookie in about 15 minutes

I'm cold

Using a pool noodle to insulate a pipe is peak Florida

It's forecast to be 24° tonight and my house doesn't have a real heater. Lol. Lmao

The Billy Madison penguin as actual size

hold the fort. he was banned on Xbox Live

Pray for my palm trees this weekend, I've been watering the shit out of them and hit them with copper fungicide today. Best I can do 🤞

💀

A head longer than Barnacle Jim's

I have been laughing at this for a solid five minutes.

I'm tweeting from the US yelling at Americans to Do Something

God this is hell

Praying my big toe doesn't balloon up #gout

I'm doing a mandatory AI training crap and it has done nothing but make me want to sh**t my computer

What the fuck it's only Tuesday??

Me: “the world really needs laughter at a time like this” The world: “no, we need water, food, shelter…” Me: “Here’s my impression of jar jar binks giving a sloppy blowjob: ‘EXQUEEEEEZE ME’ *obloblobloblob*”

It's me, this white ibis, and the gas pump playing the worst possible cover of Soul Asylum's "Runaway Train"

Jesus H Christ

It's me, this white ibis, and the gas pump playing the worst possible cover of Soul Asylum's "Runaway Train"

It's too damn far north for a penguin to just be walking around here I gotta send him back to the south pole

Someone send me $6001 thanks

Jane's a legit good person I'll vouch for and got in a bind.