[airline pilot voice] uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

the new model is so good it’s gonna finally make “fetch” happen

My mayor Muslim My bagel Jewish My milkshake ducked That’s so fucked

Do people know the “My mayor is Muslim” thing is a Kalshi ad or has that truth bomb not yet hit Bluesky

my shitposting is impeccable my social graph is hackable my content is clippable we all feel despicable

tag urself. I’m the second can of plum tomatoes from the left, behind the tv

I *really* hope this works

The carousel is back! Celebrating with a photo dump from yesterday’s adventure in the Columbia River Gorge. (Highly recommend this OMTM route www.omtm.cc/pleasant-ridge)

“I wish there were uncloggable toilets,” my kid says to me. “Me, too,” I sob.

challenging Elon to a new space race: posting “nice” from a device on a rocket passing 69,000 feet agl by next 4/20

when ur at your kids dance recital and you recognize another neighborhood kid

no, i don't want to partner with you on your unique experiential customer activation opportunity. i went to the woods because i wished to live deliberately (and the housing is more affordable).

same, tbh

i needed to borrow a tool from a neighbor with whom i share a back fence and rather than have me walk around the block he just yelled “CLEAR” and hurled it over his shed

signing devs up for conferences

I highly suggest moving to Oregon and immediately making friends with the owners of a berry farm.

Je suis Elmo

my 3.5-year-old called me into his room at 10pm last night to share his plan to capture a cat at preschool. it involves snacks and a bucket. i'm waiting for a call from animal control.

If you use Bluesky for politics or news, I’d love your help with a short University of Zürich study on politics and social media. It takes under 5 minutes. uzh-mediastudy.org/join #promoted

my yt algorithm is fucking perfect

"Wang’s business is keen to rebuild the relationship between content creator and the person viewing the content, as well as communities, fandoms and other small groups that social media has, historically, united." Yes I am! Thanks @lilyford.bsky.social www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/dig...

this car fucks

YOOO ATPROTO STRAVA RUNNING APP

JOB ALERT! I'm looking for a Certified Poster (™) to help run our myriad accounts. Apply here: jobs.gem.com/bluesky/am9i...

some personal news: i've committed to growing out my hair regardless of how awkward the intermediary stages look. i'd ask that everyone withhold judgment for at least the next three months. tysm.

"i'm not a normal parent, i'm a cool parent" i whisper to myself as i eat shit on the kindergarten steps in my heely's

if the ai ever comes for us, i will be ok because i'm about to purchase 25 containers of spam

the view. it splits.

v1.122 is rolling out today, featuring a better way to discover and share articles, blog posts and newsletters across the Atmosphere via new, dynamic Standard.site link cards. 🧵

how old is the average Bluesky user?

my wife: what are you working on me: I’m drafting multiple posts about the miracle of modern food science that is the Costco chicken nugget my wife: me: I need help my wife: me: can you make more nuggets

there are only two good hot dogs: chicago dog spam musubi

i lost an apple in my office, help me, claude

It was an absolute pleasure to have @repdexteror.bsky.social join @bikebusworld.bsky.social this morning!

me, explaining the efficacy of sky-writing as a paid media channel

time to check in on the wide world of sport

my kids will be holding a funeral service for a ladybug this evening. in lieu of flowers, they ask that you send sour patch kids.

Over 40% of the internet runs on @wordpress.org. Thrilled to see this Atmosphere integration!

follow me for

mechanical keyboards are a chaotic good and @aresluna.org has convinced me i NEED a Big Button aresluna.org/key-in-sight/

seeking funding my AI daycare center chain, kinder-claude

Three of the smartest people I know on one pod. (And welcome back to Bluesky, @weisenthal.bsky.social!)

I’ve already written my commencement speech. it’s five minutes of me describing the best exchanges in “caddyshack.” i will exit the stage to thunderous applause after impersonating rodney dangerfield yelling “we’re all gonna get laid!”

@jimray.locket.computer & @alex.bsky.team are, in many ways, the Bert & Ernie of podcasting

thinking about developing DHBIIOAW (deeply held but ill-informed opinons about watches)

POTENTIALLY

Bluesky is the place for big zoo news

real men cry and spend money when their friends make bumper stickers

getting incredible results with this prompt: Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find Reaching for something in the distance So close you can almost taste it Release your inhibitions Feel the rain on your skin