welcome to the UnderCouch. the UnderCouch is not a part of your home. it is sovereign territory. there are no laws here.

Imagine describing a cat to someone who's never seen one before and then asking them to draw it. Thats kinda what the undercouch is like

welcome to the UnderCouch. the UnderCouch is not a part of your home. it is sovereign territory. there are no laws here.

being in my 40s is basically the same as being in my 30s, only sometimes now i make a noise when i stretch out my back that my wife says "sounds like a pterodactyl."

being in my 40s is basically the same as being in my 30s, only sometimes now i make a noise when i stretch out my back that my wife says "sounds like a pterodactyl."

my power has been out for THREE HOURS and here i am, still surviving. like a hero. i don't even know how I'm doing this. i must be persevering based solely on adrenaline now. i wonder if anything can kill me.

"So, what's the game plan boss?"

freya: "sir, are you aware that you have planted your large orange body in my basket?" sandal: "i am aware that i have planted my large orange body in a basket." freya: "is this usually where you sleep?" sandal: "...the american people are tired of these distractions."

freya: "sir, are you aware that you have planted your large orange body in my basket?" sandal: "i am aware that i have planted my large orange body in a basket." freya: "is this usually where you sleep?" sandal: "...the american people are tired of these distractions."

I find a lot of music very performative. The artists don’t make those noises when they’re alone writing an email or taking out the garbage, but oh, as soon as there’s an audience, look out, that’s when the big music show starts!

the cats have once again prepared nothing for Father's Day. it's like this is just another day to them. Freya watched squirrels for two hours and didn't even once comment on the beauty of their family dynamic. she just wanted to eat them, as usual. maybe they have something planned for later, idk.

the cat carrier is an infamous symbol of oppression. reclaiming it can be an act of resistance

has anyone, even once, turned on the voice recognition feature on their tv on purpose

the cat carrier is an infamous symbol of oppression. reclaiming it can be an act of resistance

has anyone, even once, turned on the voice recognition feature on their tv on purpose

"It is to the characteristics of change itself that the mentat-generalist must look. There can be no permanent catalogue of such change, no handbook or manual. You must look at it with as few preconceptions as possible, asking yourself: "Now what is this thing doing?" The Mentat Handbook

he has lived in this house for eight years but still enters every room with the confused energy of a substitute teacher who has just learned there is no lesson plan

Imb award #faseofdedey to Sandal. He haff ernedt it

he has lived in this house for eight years but still enters every room with the confused energy of a substitute teacher who has just learned there is no lesson plan

Chancleta, your moment is here

most of my adult life has basically centered around avoiding the pivot to video

i have seen many, many complaints about Duolingo having dead friends and family members "message" users reminding them to complete their daily goals on Duolingo. it seems reasonably certain that this is happening an awful lot. surely one of the dumbest reason to traumatize anyone ever

Wen will these Mundeys seese?!

Not all STEM guys, ofc. But anybody who’s ever worked in, say, education, humanities, health care, etc can tell you that they’ve met their share of STEM guys who are under the impression that they could just effortlessly pivot to your field if they wanted to do so

lotta people on here:

@gonzo.bsky.social @davewagner.bsky.social He's even more orange than Gonzo or Sandal!

Somehow they’re going to end up getting Connecticut out of this

Leah Wilson rescued an injured crow and keeps receiving gifts from other crows.

she got tired of waiting and took his name off the building her own damn self

she got tired of waiting and took his name off the building her own damn self

me: "i'll review those documents and get right back to you." the documents in question:

me: "i'll review those documents and get right back to you." the documents in question:

Hey Sandal @davewagner.bsky.social I am in a cat cafe in France - your cousin wanted me to tell you “Bonjour”

the phrase "lipstick on a pig" has always inspired a deep sadness in me. I think of the pig, looking forward to her big night out, and I bring myself to the verge of tears.

when someone asks me how my day was.

Been laughing at this for 45 minutes straight

Part of Bari’s problem is she’s trying to go all-in on state propaganda during the regime’s low point, it’s like opening a flip-phone store

bisexual final boss

shamed her cat ancestors by chasing a bug for twenty minutes but then refusing to kill and eat it. seemed unnecessary and, frankly, unappealing in a culinary landscape in which crunchies and fishpaste are plentiful.

me n gang

I need this on a t-shirt ASAP.

he has heard your slanderous words about orange cats. he knows you think orange cats are "silly" or "unserious." he knows you underestimate him. and as soon as he stops chasing ghosts that he is sure are on the ceiling, he intends to do something about it.

buying my cat increasingly large scratcher lounges so that he thinks he's slowly but consistently shrinking somehow

so like lemme weigh in on this as someone who is more financially comfortable than many in my generational cohort: everything I have gained seems precarious and temporary because I know the people with real money will take it all from me the second they get an opportunity and no one will protect me.

you're just minding your own business, perhaps watching a film or browsing a periodical, and GOOD LORD, WHERE DID HE COME FROM AND WHY IS HE LOOKING AT YOU LIKE THIS

I love that this was a rejected sketch Mulaney wrote for the show while he was on staff

“…the new policy would affect many tenants who rely on assistance animals to alleviate psychiatric or mental disabilities — for example, a military veteran with post-traumatic stress disorder.” www.nytimes.com/2026/05/22/u...

people travel thousands of miles to seek her wisdom. at the foot of the throne, Freya lowers her head. the pilgrim thinks: she has chosen me. indeed she has. but not as a disciple. as a meal.

The Ladies Man 2: Arlington Road