It’s not a plot hole that Elmo has been 3 years old for 50 years. He was bitten by The Count, willingly. Elmo asked for the Dark Gift

glad to see the Nationals continuing their proud tradition (signing shitty pitchers with even shittier politics)

Just a big hug to all the anarchists in the Twin Cities who get dismissed all the time but knew exactly what to do when shit went down here.

People are criticizing Chris Getz for knowing nothing about Luisangel Acuña but in his defense I don’t blame him for not wanting to go back and watch 2025 Mets games

next time you see a movie with too much cgi, remember that we used to be a proper country

you can really pick any Ted Mosby romance and not be wrong but I’m going to go with Ted and Victoria because the way they brought her back only to pointlessly put her through the ringer was extremely cruel and pointless

Don't care for the fact that it's bee a whole month since Nicolas Maduro was taken into US custody but there's been basically no updates about his trial or his detention since he put in his plea

that’s funny usually he is the one determining the fate of others

We are facing a humanitarian crisis here. Each passing day we learn of new neighbors who haven’t left their homes and have fallen through the cracks. Lots of people aren’t connected to mutual aid networks. Just terrible suffering caused by the federal government.

Coming this fall to Fox: Professor Dumbass

fuck cancer

The US campaign to starve Cuba of fuel should be understood as genocidal. They are targeting a whole nation, deliberately destroying conditions necessary for life, in flagrant violation of international law. Pure barbarism, there is no other way to describe it.

does anyone remember why Oneil Cruz’s ADP climbed in March 2025?

sigh

others have commented on this but it’s downright embarrassing that WSJ doesn’t know (or more likely is pretending not to know) what a loss leader is this is something I (an English major with zero business education) learned in my entry level marketing job

THEY ARE BUYING UP WAREHOUSES TO HOLD HUMAN BEINGS IN DETENTION INDEFINITELY. I feel crazy at how everyone is acting like this is normal. These are concentration camps being built right before our eyes. These buildings are not meant to house human beings. People will be caged like cattle and die.

No son, they are not "magically delicious." The workers made them delicious. This is a slogan meant to mystify the social conditions of labor

😂

John, it’s too early for this

hey I got your pork roll right here if you get my drift

How fucking disconnected from day to day life for human beings do you have to be to call a fucking big box store rotisserie chicken a fucking splurge it’s the new living on peanut butter and ramen you sociopathic fucking alien machine. What fucking hole in space wept you into existence.

wrote about Michael J. Fox's appearance on Shrinking, which was cool for a lot of reasons, some of them pretty important to me type-click-type.ghost.io/tell-em-mich...

Rewatching Veep and every Sam Richardson line delivery is gold.

my first thought when I see anyone get angry about an injured player “stealing” a team’s money

my (mild) excitement about an Anthony Santander comeback

this is most of mine too but also Sports Illustrated was essential

A fun fact is that James Mattis is on the record as being more critical of Israel's segregationist regime in the occupied West Bank than Schumer or Jeffries or Biden or even, well, Obama.

unless Max Scherzer really manages to hang on JV is going to be the last active pitcher to win 250+ games

There’s not a way to negotiate with ICE without selling out some of the very neighbors we’re risking our lives to protect. This is a moral issue. Your willingness to negotiate shows you don’t understand the problem at all or our sacrifice, not that you’re somehow smarter or more rational than us.

This one star review of a local convenience store... fair enough

CONFIRMED BY SCIENCE: anyone more online than me is a loser phone addict and everyone less online than me are basic underdeveloped normies

the people trying to figure this out

When someone tells me how old their child is I say "that's such a fun age" even if it's 37

Again, and I really need to repeat this relentlessly, if one party of our two-party system no longer believes in the Constitution or Democracy, and the other side is still trying to negotiate and work with them, our institutions have already failed us and we are simply delaying the inevitable!!!

when they were little the toughest questions my kids had were about guns and mass shootings. they never asked us about gay people. “oh that kid in my class has two mommies? (silence for a few seconds) oh, ok.” it’s not a big deal to kids unless you’re weird about it.

Other systems have inflicted mass suffering, tolerated deprivation, and allowed elites to live insulated from harm. But capitalism is uniquely capable of commodifying the harm itself and presenting it as entertainment, opportunity, or personal empowerment.

Bill Maher is slowly becoming Mac’s mom on always sunny

it drives you insane how much erosion of freedom is justified by concern for kids when the people who actually hurt them will never face consequences

Thinking a lot lately how the last time my classroom was painted was probably 1992

did not realize that was angry bass playing I was hearing on Something In The Way

would love if the takeaway here was people realizing "wow there IS money for political parties to pursue policies they believe in!" then reconsider the last several democratic administrations through that lens

we’re slightly annoyed and we’re going to keep taking it forevermore

The *only* response to this is all the other governors drop out.

1/ ProPublica collected handwritten letters in mid-January from children held at the Dilley Immigration Processing Center, the same facility where 5-year-old Liam Conejo Ramos was taken. Hundreds of kids are still detained. We’ll let the children’s words speak for themselves. 🧵

“Make The American Gestapo Wear Masks (But Only Under Very Specific Circumstances)”

Joey Ortiz played 134 games at third for the Brewers in 2024

logging on the morning after the Super Bowl

Waaaa I don't speak Spanish waaa I'm gonna watch the show with words I can understand The words:

*lip syncing toilets