Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
@hormonella.bsky.social
📤 3651
📥 2944
📝 1128
My body is not my temple It’s more like my bar and grill
pinned post!
my weight loss plan is vomiting if I even glance at the news
5 months ago
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Amish Super Model
about 18 hours ago
So, apparently, according to my doctor, heavy drinking isn’t considered “self-care.”
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
grilled cheese 🧀
about 15 hours ago
5-word horror story: "did you see my email?"
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would it be too much to ask that all members of the GOP be required to wear “I’m With Stupid” t-shirts?
about 14 hours ago
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
BooBooKitty
1 day ago
Bluesky is just Twitter’s retirement community
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
John Lyon
about 14 hours ago
Sometimes I think I’m reasonably intelligent, and sometimes I click the remote car door lock a second or third time for extra lockiness.
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just saw myself in the mirror amazingly, still look like I did in my thirties fucked up
about 23 hours ago
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
2 days ago
I’m neither underrated nor overrated. Not sure I’m even rated.
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Granite Man
2 days ago
You crazy freaks will repost anything.
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what kind of sick fucking animal doesn’t give their pets middle names?
2 days ago
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
[Sic] Burns
3 days ago
I’m tracing our downfall to when we had to start wearing pants to work again
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
S🌟tella
8 days ago
All's fair in love and war when you're a dick.
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Operation Tiny Dick Hissy Fit
3 days ago
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Salty MacTavish
3 days ago
Send lawyers, guns, and money, and sunscreen, and maybe some personal wipes
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Daisy
3 days ago
I just need someone I can slap on the ass every morning and say go get ‘em tiger
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my new smart phone lets me use the flashlight app while I’m looking for my phone!
3 days ago
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Lizzlepants 🐒
4 months ago
revenge is a dish best served after I’ve licked everything on the plate
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Matty
9 months ago
Would be endlessly helpful if everyone got their name tattooed on their face
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not to brag, but I just reset the clock in my car without referring to the manual
4 days ago
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Uffdafuckingda
4 days ago
Are we really United States anymore cause I don’t feel very united.
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Shade 5
4 days ago
Probably should've laid off those edibles before I did my own taxes. A side note however...I'm getting back twelve and a half million dollars.
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turns out the monster under my bed was just a corgi with gas
4 days ago
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Lizzlepants 🐒
5 days ago
I like to celebrate international women’s day by making out with my girlfriends
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Dumb Beezie
9 days ago
Sorry I didn’t mean to give a pep talk, that’s not my character
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International Women’s Day is only 23 hours I’ll just leave that right there
5 days ago
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
CrazyMyra
5 days ago
It's Women's Day, the day when every man assures the world we can't mean him as he's one of the good guys.
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Pru
7 days ago
If only I could be a reasonable amount of whelmed.
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not to brag but I’m folding the laundry OK, the laundry that’s been in the dryer since last weekend
6 days ago
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Melicious
9 days ago
I've been vulnerable before. Zero stars.
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Granite Man
8 days ago
It's not my job to judge people, it's more like a hobby.
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The White House without a pet is like America without democracy.
8 days ago
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Pru
10 days ago
I know this isn't the time for jokes, but also it is precisely the time for jokes
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Tits McDick
9 days ago
Much like a succulent, I too thrive on neglect.
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to the woman in the next stall singing along to The Spinners’ Could It Be I’m Falling in Love… sounds more like explosive diarrhea
9 days ago
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Uffdafuckingda
11 days ago
Celery is ribbed for no one’s pleasure.
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
[Sic] Burns
11 days ago
Everything’s gonna be fine as long as celebrities don’t start singing Imagine
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there is a lot of sadness in the world but perhaps nothing more heartbreaking than the face of the dog who must fast before his visit to the vet this morning
11 days ago
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Dumb Beezie
13 days ago
God damn, what the hell is in those files? The world is burning because of perverted old rich men
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️
15 days ago
I’m not saying I’m depressed, but I’m listening to the Smiths as a pick me up.
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“Jesus Fucking Christ” she muttered looking at this morning’s headlines
13 days ago
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Idle
19 days ago
Don’t make me informed. You wouldn’t like me informed.
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Salty MacTavish
14 days ago
Before social media, I would sit on a sandbar and wait for the tide to come in
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Ever finish a chapter in your life and wish you’d never learned to read?
14 days ago
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Kelly🆘🇺🇸
6 months ago
America needs a hard reboot.
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Granite Man
16 days ago
Okay, maybe that wasn't my last straw, but I have 3 to 4 straws left at most, so you better watch out.
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just because it takes a really long time doesn’t make the sex good same with presidential addresses
16 days ago
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
BooBooKitty
18 days ago
Bring back volcano sacrifices!
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Your Tax Dollars at Work
18 days ago
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
[Sic] Burns
19 days ago
USA viewers we now return you to your regularly scheduled total collapse of democracy
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
John Lyon
19 days ago
Interviewer: It says here you're good at making up words. How often do you find that useful? Me: Contuitively.
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now that the Olympics are over we can all get back to getting shitfaced for no apparent reason
19 days ago
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