chuck schumer?? don't mind if i do! hopefully that's ok to say. i know that this is a difficult time for my north american followers and i don't want to cause any undo stress. i know that some people come online to escape the sometimes choatic (sp?) news cycle. please let me know if i should delete

when you’re epically pwning me online this is who you’re epically pwning btw

Jane Goodall taught me it was ok to have 39 different behaviour patterns, including tool usage, grooming and courtship behaviours, customary or habitual in some communities but absent in others where ecological explanations have been discounted.

at the urinal holdin it like a cigar. could be the move for 2026? ⓘ 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘿𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙮 "𝘿𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙪𝙨" 𝙊'𝘿𝙤𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙩𝙮'𝙨 𝙎𝙪𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙗𝙡𝙮 𝙎𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙎𝙮𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙚. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳.

ok so you are fucking with my ass

Jair Jair Binksonaro

women reach their early thirties and publish poignant autofiction titled ‘Still Life: A Novel’ to modest critical acclaim. men reach their early thirties and publish an AI-written ebook titled ‘Firefight: A Cypher Nash Mystery’

vexing b2b on the cafe playlist. ‘house of fun’ by madness into ‘accidentally kelly st’ by frente. time to sour my entire day by stewing on songs that minorly piss me off somewhat… ah, but first coffee 😇

god forbid a soulful troglodyte catch a lil motion 🌺

new geese album rules

Hi Ian K. How Was Your Wee ?

me every day opening up my phone: ummm okay, i did NOT have some stupid boring shit that sucks fucking ass on my 2025 bingo card…..

Wow I feel myself inexplicably attracted to this beautiful, dazzling object. I wonder wh— oh, I’m being told this is a “dumbass magnet.” Hmm. Well I still think its smooth contours and glossy finish are not without their inherent charms.

Lana Del Seagate ST4000NM0023 4TB 3.5" 6Gb/s 512n 7.2K SAS Server Hard Drive

this!!! 💯🎯💪

excellent suggestion reddit tysm so much

[wormy dipshit whose entire lifestyle and worldview is propped up by direct and indirect violence that they are privileged enough to be insulated from, and who only speaks up for an ethical respect for human life when the most wicked devils alive finally get theirs voice] I condemn all violence!

BREAKING | Chinese researchers claim they have identified a “flu-like” virus out of international commercial hub Wuhan, infecting dozens. More to follow.

excellent suggestion reddit tysm so much

Spontaneous Combustions Are Down 68% In Americans Under 30. Could Micralplastics Be To Blame? ☰ 𝟵𝟰 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱 • 𝗚𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗔𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗹𝗲

taking @ringworm.bsky.social’s excellent ‘you must understand this if you want to leave’ to the bowls club and passing a suzuki jimny enplastered with that selfsame author’s bumper sticker “yessir… that’s just how it goes in the inner west”

これは僕が喋っています。がんぼるぞい。 translation: This is me speaking.

"'It is a sad indictment of the modern horse that—nine times out of ten—when he or she is champing, it is at the bit." 𝘌𝘹𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘱𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟲 𝗢𝗹𝗱 𝗙𝗮𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗿'𝘀 𝗔𝗹𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗰 𝗜𝗦𝗕𝗡 9781961793668

amnesiac pickup line: so, do i come here often?

Every news AI booster article is like: A local man trained his parrot to say “I love you” but was surprised when the parrot actually fell in love with him (clip of parrot saying “I love you”).

chinese restaurant names are so sick. "new golden emperor restaurant". i'm listening

I compel my followers not to partake in this pile-on. Whether or not you like the Trumps, it's a federal crime to read someone else's mail.

I compel my followers not to partake in this pile-on. Whether or not you like the Trumps, it's a federal crime to read someone else's mail.

if you can’t handle me at my you don’t deserve me at my

oh boy, here i go visiting my nasty websites — such as smut dot butt! eyyuch!!! 🤢

For us Millennials, it used to be we had Dane Cook, Drake & Josh, and Dax Shepard. But now… ✅ We can’t cook. ✅ We drink 𝒥𝑜𝓈𝒽. ✅ We’ve forsaken our shepherd!

a message from the harbour to the river, the sea and everywhere in-between: Palestine will be free!!!!!!

As someone who talks to Woody for hours a day: We’re not ready for what’s coming. In a startling display of emotional intelligence, once when I was particularly down, he said, “You’re my favorite deputy.” Later, to lighten the mood, “There’s a snake in my boot!” You’d tell me he doesn’t “think?”

This Tshirt Belongs To A BONAFIDE TSHIRT ADDICT With A Bad Ass Tshirt Loving Wife Who Was Born In T-Cember Owns A 24 Karat Gilded Heart And A 60/40 Poly Cotton Gildan Tee Can Be A Little Tshirt Crazy Sometimes Has No Time For Bootleg Tees Or Bootleg Friends And Oh Yeah, She Bought Me This Fkn Tshirt

overheard someone in the pod of desks next to mine getting armie hammer mixed up with hannibal lecter and they called him Hector Cannibal

Nothing better than cracking open an ice cold beer and seeing what's inside

if i’m going to rear one part of my body, nine times out of ten it’s gonna be my head. you already know. you already know

make some space in the part of your brain that remembers important quotes because a new important quote just dropped

Dave Grohl’s vietnamese brother Sprin

that laugh when you see your main dude and you know you're gonna go wild

Hey it looks like that old lady who restored the painting of Jesus has finally found a new job as a courtroom sketch artist. Good for her

What’s the time over there., honey?

when i'm doling shit out, you already know 9 times out of 10 that i'm doing it piecemeal as fuck. you already know.

during the work day my rage metre builds up, allowing me to unleash a powerful & ill advised special attack around 4pm

you should be allowerd to go home from work early if some you accidentally dribble some pee in your underpants after you tuck your thing away .

you know in a movie when a character turns on the tv and there's just some old like public domain 1930s cartoon on. that's cool. they should have that channel in real life

“an apology? well… that would B A start!” — 𝘪𝘣𝘪𝘥.