i need a new pair of dungarees

They should consider making their restaurants not look and smell like a bathroom next

"zoomers are killing the bar industry" oh interesting was it zoomers who decided a drink should cost seventeen dollars

did we all already know that the name Ghislaine means "hostage"

my sons claim they saw a fish today and it swam under their bottoms and said "I'M FREE!"

over on x the everything app some Chicago high school kid named Danny Spud tried to disrupt his school's anti-ICE protest by yelling about how much he loves ICE and then filmed himself getting walloped by a fellow student lmao the quote tweet making fun of him has 3x the likes

the very idea of gavin newsom in 2028 is preposterous. he's a throwback to the time where you could put a haircut in a suit and have him mouth platitudes while the status quo grinds on. we're so far past that. we got pedophile nazis now. lol that you want to reanimate dan quayle

had to email my city councilor and it is very clear i am not a "dude of emails" because i wrote out like seven pages of social history of a specific vacant lot then included the wrong map and had to reply with the right one then made a typo in my own phone number 👍👍👍

This guy was a bad dude everyone KNEW he was a bad dude, maybe one of the worst dudes to ever live, and we're splitting hairs about "I only had lunch on the island" it's CRAZY MAN. These people need to be locked in a room and then throw the room away

was watching a video from a representative who got to view the unredacted files and she's yknow near to tears in her car apologizing to the survivors and she says the word "horrific" and the auto-generated subtitles changed it to "the things that happened on that ranch were just terrific"

this one is NOT pornography. it is SFW. and it is incredibly funny. arrested development could not have deployed a federal redaction in a funnier way www.justice.gov/epstein/file...

On Thanksgiving, the immigrant children held at the Dilley detention center gathered in the gym for what they thought was a holiday feast. The kids salivated over a spread of turkey, sandwiches, pastries and pies, a family told me. But the food wasn’t for detainees — it was for the staff.

the airline can only make it so neither of my children is flying alone by putting all four of us in the row reserved for unaccompanied children and if any unaccompanied children show up i guess they're accompanied now. i'll bring extra snacks

cut the lads hair and it looks great, i used my trusty method of grabbing random chunks of it and twisting them around and then cutting up the twist a totally arbitrary amount while they sit on a towel on my lap and wiggle all over the place. i genuinely find it indistinguishable from a real haircut

Suburban wine moms will really be like "you believe in voting? that pales in effectiveness to my strategy, firebombing a concentration camp" and then very effectively firebomb a concentration camp

Oh this is by Peggy Noonan never mind

Lady Churchill’s Rosebud Wristlet No. 51 Because of my work and writing here with the Bean Project, I had an opportunity to submit some other writing to Gavin @gavingrant.bsky.social and Kelly @kellylink.bsky.social at Small Beer Press for their publication LCRW. Go support them and me. 🙂 🫘

why does a budget director even need a security detail? i wouldn't even recognize him in public and if somebody said "hey everybody it's the budget director" i'd probably just be like "booooooo you suck"

just fyi you are supposed to rsvp no if you cant make it, not just yes if you can. thread on the mom group about rude people just declining to respond and multiple commenters saying "wait were we supposed to be rsvp'ing no? i just don't reply for no" you have to rsvp either way. make a note

It's not a new observation at this point but that wild Noem/Lewandowski story in WSJ really brings home the extent to which all the Trump 2 cabinet-level goblins see their jobs as flying private, doing short-form video, and screaming at underlings. They all hate each other and none of them can read.

i bought a lil "fix your hearts or die" enamel pin to wear on vacay so strangers will know i'm nice in a mean way or mean in a nice way whichever

uh oh i just said to brian "you could give them some I-C-E-C-R-E-A-M" and the littler baby said yes i want some ice cream!!! i want some ice cream!!!

i feel like this is a dark time for soup in history. people just aren't in the mood for soup

bro they're making you slightly trapezoidal in the group chat right now

Chadwick Boseman and James van der Beek both died in their 40s of an illness that's treatable if a colonoscopy catches it but almost no insurer covers them for people under 45, this is what Engels meant by "social murder"

grandma mailed them valentine's day crowns! wow

me: sheesh it's bright out iggy: put on you sunglasses me: ok how do i look iggy: you look, to me, just like santa claus. put you on a plane and go away to the north pole

hey quick q. what in the fucking world

is blippi the one everybody hates? i just typed in "san diego zoo for kids" (i like to show them places they're going in advance so they have a little context) and here's a blippi video. this is pretty inoffensive really. he's just some fella

my larger son calls caterpillars "carpenters"

just heard the smaller baby singing a recognizable song to himself for the first time. it was "blow the man down"

there is no USDA NCHFP certified recipe from georgia state oregon state or the ball blue book for beaver meat specifically btw. you could follow the general guidelines for "wild game" but you'd really want to know the pH of your beaver

is anybody else watching Small Prophets the new mackenzie crook show starring hisself and russel from detectorists and one of the pythons!!! only one episode out so far but it's so charming

to misquote brautigan, i know we are surrounded by so much blossoming horror in the world, vietnam, starvation, rioting, that a botanical garden downsizing isn't much, but i worry about it, and see this simple event as the possible telescope for a larger agony

my smaller son insists on going to sleep with one sock on and one sock off and my larger son has learned he can get tucked in one more time by a relieved parent if he falsely claims he has poop on his fingers because what'm i gonna do, not check?

my tummy horts :(

fine i'll watch the new game of thrones thing

my birthday was last week and if you didn't get me anything and you have stupid money you should give a donation to or become a member of the botanical garden in my disenfranchised neighborhood, they're in real financial trouble and need help www.leachgarden.org

Three Little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig fell behind the couch and i'm seriously considering if it's worth the $2.99 or whatever a used scholastic book fair copy would be on thriftbooks to not have to move the couch

having your city noticed by the president is now a natural disaster on par with a hurricane or major flood

woman goes to doctor. says she's depressed. says life seems harsh and cruel. says she feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. doc says, "treatment is simple. go check out pony pony huckabuck on bluesky. her kids are so cute”. woman bursts into tears

don't wanna count my chickens before they're hatched but the freezer that was at 30 degrees is now at 18 degrees which is a much more freezer-y temperature

farm and home management educators? like ... like home-ec teachers, 4H leaders and extension service agents? i should think not

the master's tools rule. you should steal them. if you don't, you had better hope whoever does likes you and your cause

No son, they are not "magically delicious." The workers made them delicious. This is a slogan meant to mystify the social conditions of labor

does anybody have any ideas for how i can cheer myself up? i'm not asking for compliments or animal pictures to cheer me up, i'm asking for ideas i might not have thought of to stop being in a stinky fuckin mood. beyond drink water and sleep. and don't say sunny vacation i can't afford it

hard to overstate how much 99 ranch mini-so and teso life opening within walking distance of my house has improved my life

there's always groups of teenagers on the playground cussing a whole bunch, just shit and damn and fuck and piss and ass and sometimes even the n-word, and today they were all there cussing their heads off and then one of them tried to get the other in trouble with me for cussing?