lads did 2 miles in an hour 15 without being carried at all

shoutout to the guy with the giant newfoundland on a very short lease on the hiking trail who shouted ahead to us from a distance "this dog is friendly with children!" i love you seriously

lmao

😭😭😭

I think basically what happened is the CIA stopped doing enough acid

i don't even care about new years but i always end up getting my house super clean and embarking on some new projects and tasks and whatnot much in the manner of resolutions around this time of year anyway because there's nothing else to fucking do

i leaned over my tiny sons beds at bedtime and whispered "i love you baby" and he smiled up at me adoringly and said "i lush you mama..." and as i turned to switch off the light he finished with "now GO a-WAY!" lmao

tonight at dinner we're discussing our favorite ferns. i think i like licorice fern the best because i think it's cute. wbu

You can pretend to have your shit together if you want. They don’t really check

fine i'll go on a hike quit hectoring me

the lads put on one of the weird children's music cassette tapes from my childhood and the very first track is john brown's body but they've changed it to "john brown's baby" and it's about a baby that gets a cold and is treated with camphorated oil

my aunt, who i do not know super well and never talk to, i believe may have had a glass or two of wine, and sent me a link on insta to a guide to disrupting TPUSA activities on campus. she said "pass along to your friends too!" very sweet of her. i am thirsty seven but very sweet

making thousand beast broth (all the random unidentified bones i found loose in the freezer plus veggie and mushroom scraps and parmesan rinds)

Portland, OR: home of the Wet House With Bugs

i'm sorry but you simply must see these fits

we sent whitey to the moon but we can’t build our houses to exist in places with wet and bugs, apparently

now whycome the mcmenamins bros are allowed to have four inches of moss and ferns on their roof for charming ambiance but when i try to do that a spy from the home owners insurance company threatens me via the united states postal service

we're in a restaurant, very casual and vibey, that has an upstairs like, loft? and i just hoisted up my baby so he could peek over the railing and holler AHOY DOWN THERE and wave to the people eating below. who fully heard him. looked up. and neither smiled nor waved back

i'm sorry but you simply must see these fits

my in-laws love cats but don't have a cat anymore and won't take any steps to go and get themselves a cat because they're always just had cats kind of show up so i need somebody to go dump a random cat in hoover alabama for them to find

it's supposed to be sweet but do you know how pissed i would be if i was mother bear and i came to pick up little bear from grandmother and grandfathers house and they'd let him "take a nap" at like 6pm

People who've never had small children don't understand that nap math is real and it can hurt you

i love trying to visit a museum that is open 10am-4pm and is approx one hour drive away with young children who have a mandatory two hour nap from noon to 2

oh yeah the giant spider monster mind control thing is actually a guy with a house someone in the writer's room should have smashed a bottle over that guy's head instead of agreeing with it

wrt dark skies, i just looked it up and the weekend of the new moon in may we'll be camping someplace that's "2.3 bortle" which i am led to believe is quite quite good? we'll be able to see some good stars? that kicks ass

You’ve logged on to Facebook for the first time in six months. A beautiful woman who you said something weird to one night in sophomore year is eight months pregnant thanks to a man whose hair is really curly and whose beard hair is perfectly straight

quite frankly these things are getting less and less strange as we go, as opposed to stranger

why does the oven say piss…

i told my gigantic son i love you and he said "iggy love mama too" and gave me a big wet smooch on the cheek so i forgive him for his many crimes

for the last week or so i keep smelling cigar smoke everywhere. not cigarettes but specifically cigars. is everybody smoking a bunch of cigars. don't say covid i do not have covid nor have i been hit in the head nor do i have a migraine. i really think it's cigars

aww yiss

😈😈😈 montavilla.net/2025/12/26/t...

i don't even understand what stephen miller was trying to say with that weird post about watching a sinatra special and it making him think no immigrants should come to america. like is he thinking of the rat pack as quintessential americana nostalgia stuff

#1 ice cream ever hands down imho

portland oregon is a theme park for moms who like to read the clever names of small businesses out loud

getting pissed off trying to download VHS rips of scholastic specials of storybooks off Internet Archive to throw on my children's Plex server but having to convert them all first because they're in the wackiest goddamn sorts of files nobody's ever heard of

lmao

someone in this willy week article about P4A claims to have gotten a $50,000 tax bill for just this one tax. i'm not a mathematician but how high does one's income have to be if they owe 50k at 1.5% on income over 150k or 3% over 250k. like a billion dollars?

wish there was a LOTR edition for 2 year olds. vibes only. no nazgûl's orcs or balrogs. just hobbits wizards and rivendell. what kind of quest are they on? doesn't matter, the audience is 2 years old

the shit I care least in the whole world about is whether the story about the Earl of Sandwich is true. yes it fucking was. my man was playing cards and eating meat with his hands and then he said hold up check this out. you won't believe this shit. bring me some fucking bread & hold onto your hats

son was worried about the grinch coming to take his presents and i was saying no no, papa won't let that happen, and brian, half-asleep, said "yep we're going to roast and eat him tonight"

seemed idk wasteful to just let the advent candles burn down last night not DOING anything so i threw my rosary at their base to idk charge it up like people do putting their crystals in moonlight but i forgot to move it after so the wax hardened around it and its fucking stuck to the wreath lmao

one thing i like about the fallout show is how clearly everything is labelled

"this is a sizzling-hot muckfrumping country we is living in. nothing grows in it except snozzcumbers. i would love to go somewhere else and pick peachy fruits in the early morning from the back of an elefunt" the BFG

i know i'm always on this but would it kill the grotto to have just ONE matinee with choral singing and puppet shows for young children during the festival of lights season. they can't go after 6pm, they're asleep. put your money where your mouth is wrt your having babies messaging, catholic church

iggy's review of muppet christmas carol: "silly piggy"

i love every year after christmas feeling like okay the clothes i got the lads on black friday and passed off as gifts will surely last them all year because i bought them like 3 sizes up and then they outgrow them by april

that's vertical integration