this would fix me

If trump ever sees one battle after another we're probably all fucked. Luckily no one around him has the patience to ever watch it

Trump spends 23 hours a day in the vr coffin that almost killed Ethan hunt in dead reckoning

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go So make the best of this test, and don't ask why It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time It's something unpredictable But in the end, it's right I hope you had the time of your life

it's funny i don't even expect national democrats to talk about the fact the president of the united states, the guy trying to use the military to invade american cities, just confirmed he can't tell fantasy from reality apart on that very subject

I’m sure it’s fine that we’re all trapped in one old guy’s dying mind

The Trump Administration's DHS officers appear to be carrying large weapons around downtown Chicago in camouflage and masks. This is not making anybody safer — it’s a show of intimidation, instilling fear in our communities and hurting our businesses.

So considering he reposted that AI medbed thing last night there's a nonzero chance his own advisors have been showing him AI Fox News clips in the oval office and he thinks they're real

Folks I think our system of government may not be in the best condition

Eric Adams: my quest to find penguin in the sewers and have him manage my campaign has failed, I have no choice but to drop out

Lmfao

FYI Chicagoans

Hakeem Jeffries might be the dumbest politician in the business right now, which is saying a lot. It's so easy to be like "Eric Adams disgraced his office and put his constituents at risk," but no! You have to be Like This. Fuck the Democratic party.

Jesus Christ

I love when everyone stops to admire at a family of ducks it's like everyone look those little evil bitches are adorable

ᑐ ᑌ ᑎ ᑕ ᑎ ᑕ ᑕ I ᑎ O

wait did he attack (assuming this is a he) a mormon church because kirk died in utah

Amphetamine psychosis is probably a good comparison: a lot of people are susceptible, but most will never have a chance to find out. Except in our world suddenly meth is on shelves at 7-11, the media is flooded with hype for how productive it'll make you, and every new TV comes with a box.

ezra klein: the christmas adventurer's club was doing politics the right way

i mean just leave aside the epstein shit, they're trying to stop this lady from taking a congressional seat she won for as long as they can! they don't believe you have the right to any representation of your choosing or any meaningful way to petition your own government for redress

adams: i am taking a new consulting job in the birthplace of the famous leprechaun species, türkiye,

I keep forgetting the Democrats even exist

he never found and ate that leprechaun :(

just straight into a dumpster no discussion

The medbed thing is funny but maybe it’s bad that the press has no interest in evaluating whether the president has functioning reality-testing

this pussy don't pop for you

lmaooooooo

i think silent hill f might tie death stranding 2 as my favorite game of the year

medbed is when u smoke a joint before getting up

You go to bad apple late enough and the vibe becomes "I haven't done coke since my fourth grader was born"

Looking like a racist magician at a Vegas sweet 16

ICE arrested press tonight. They threw a tear gas canister into the press last week. This was not an accident. Release Steve Held.

More like one Oscar after another

A man here is passing around Italian beefs to people protesting Border Patrol.

All-time smooth moment for me was when Roger Ebert said Aishwarya Rai was the most beautiful woman in the world and when someone said "what about your wife?" he said "we're talking women, not goddesses"

Ladies and gentlemen, the meritocracy

I know some of you may already be on your way. Sorry for the late notice. I just had these conversations. The situation has been evolving steadily. Threats from the administration are escalating, and ICE made explicit statements to Broadview PD that the Broadview community would be punished today.

Multiple organizers I trust who have been a regular presence at Broadview are advising folks not to protest there tonight. For a number of reasons, they are worried that fatal force could be used against protesters tonight. They are calling for folks to regroup and return Friday morning.

more like one showtime after another (because twice is the most they can screen it a day apparently)

🚨 IMPORTANT THREAD 🚨 People are protesting the Broadview ICE facility tonight. This will likely be an extremely high-risk action. I caution you to consider your risk level before attending. I will not attend. Attendance risks your safety, but also the safety of Broadview residents + detainees. 1/6

uh huh. uh huh. uh huh. shut up sarah michelle failure

running for president on a platform of "making the netflix button on remotes that's easy to accidentally press illegal" and winning every state

It’s gonna be so cool to see kids skateboarding through these things once they’ve ripped all the stuff out.

please don't fact check my jokes lmao

It's not a coincidence that Melrose Park PD already has blotter page of migrants they've arrested at traffic stops for vehicle violations. This is but one extension of police terror against immigrants in Cook Co. burbs. MPPD also flew a Trump flag outside their station after he won the election.

well she did have 425 years to practice

sometimes i love seeing google news collate stories from, uh, a diverse set of publications

to be honest a bunch of the founders would have probably been less concerned by "mohammadans" than irish catholics like walsh

oh shit oh fuck we're doing an american remake of xiu xiu: the sent down girl