Ian Miles Schlong
@tedcruznipples.com
📤 14542
📥 4279
📝 31224
Area man, unfortunately Bluesky’s #1 Ken Bone hater in Los Angeles he/him
pinned post!
Everything is the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen
10 months ago
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Ian Miles Schlong
Brosemite Sam
about 2 hours ago
He's libbing out
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Just overheard some guy at the bar say “donkeys are the best”
about 2 hours ago
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Tonight would be a great night for President Trump’s chronic venous insufficiency to advance to the next stage
about 7 hours ago
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about 8 hours ago
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about 8 hours ago
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“I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?” - Sean Duffy, Transportation Secretary of the United States of America, Nov 8 2025
about 9 hours ago
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This literally looks like fucking shit. I’m not just saying that because I think he’s a sickening pedophile rapist who smells horrible. It legitimately looks like it was decorated by a demented moron. I pray the reaper comes for him immediately.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 13 hours ago
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add a skeleton here at some point
about 15 hours ago
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“Your dick isn’t botched or weird, Elon. It’s a totally normal and good dick.”
add a skeleton here at some point
about 15 hours ago
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Ian Miles Schlong
Rubberband Girl
1 day ago
loading . . .
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Ian Miles Schlong
Liz a Noted Person and Charlotte Flair fan
1 day ago
I’m always saying this. Usually to no one in particular
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Friday night on Bluesky:
1 day ago
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Ian Miles Schlong
Dr Neil & Mr Price
1 day ago
“Sentient” doing a lot of heavy lifting here
add a skeleton here at some point
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Ian Miles Schlong
Joe Lavelle
1 day ago
For those of you who watched A Serbian Film and thought, “Hoo-boy! Can’t wait to see what they do for the sequel!”
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Sure, why not. Have a Serbian hotel, Mr. President. You deserve it, you disgusting blob of sentient diarrhea.
add a skeleton here at some point
1 day ago
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Your mother is ashamed of you Pete
add a skeleton here at some point
1 day ago
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The idea of Steve Bannon in prison is making me want to become a CO
add a skeleton here at some point
1 day ago
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Ian Miles Schlong
Brosemite Sam
1 day ago
Bro's got the Zurg blaster nips
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He gotta rename it the Cuck Truck now. And do something about those freaky ass nipples for the love of God
add a skeleton here at some point
1 day ago
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Did we ever figure out what the deal was with Andrew Cuomo driving around in a white bronco on election day? That was weird, right?
add a skeleton here at some point
1 day ago
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The veil can get even thinner if Mike Pence has the courage….BWAAHAHAHHAHA
add a skeleton here at some point
1 day ago
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Go towards the light Donald…. Yes…… Closer………..
add a skeleton here at some point
1 day ago
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Ian Miles Schlong
“Why did you kill me, President Trump? You used to be my best friend.”
10 months ago
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add a skeleton here at some point
2 days ago
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Ian Miles Schlong
Darnitall
2 days ago
say hello to my lil hoagie!
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There’s no way he smelled the mustard and the onions in this short amount of time
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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Ian Miles Schlong
Jason / Method One
3 days ago
“They drew first mustard, not me”
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Ian Miles Schlong
Coach Finstock
3 days ago
Sandwich man leaving court
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3 days ago
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Ian Miles Schlong
KAFUI 🇬🇭
3 days ago
ICE CREAMED by SANDWICH! idk all i got for this one
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Why are we invoking Kamala Harris catchphrases here
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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I’ll accept her lengthy prison sentence
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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DC residents are “fed” up with the “baloney” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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Ian Miles Schlong
Spageddy Lee
3 days ago
It would be irresponsible to assume otherwise
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In my opinion it was very disrespectful of RFK Jr. to whack off in the Oval Office bathroom today while some Swedish guy was dying on the floor outside. He needs to be held accountable and removed from office.
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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A lot of sources are confirming yes
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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RFK inner monologue: “OK, we’ll probably break for at least 10 minutes here. I’m gonna go rub one out real quick.”
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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“The science is getting stronger and stronger every day. We’ve advised the physicians to reduce the thresholds.”
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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This is like when Laura Loomer came on Bluesky for a day and said she wants to build bridges
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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I like how she retired, came back just in time to bungle the 2024 election for democrats, then promptly retired again.
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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Psst. It’s not just NoVA
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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Ian Miles Schlong
Cool Rick JD
3 days ago
I like when she said "who cares about fooking Christmas!"
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Ian Miles Schlong
Aric and The Man Who Shot Cane Skeeteburg
3 days ago
People are calling her the Shohei Ohtani of patriotism. A true dual threat: waves AND stands.
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How could you not care about something like this
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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Exciting news: First Lady Melania Trump is set to be honored by Fox Nation as Patriot of the Year. I think this was an excellent choice. When I think of all the many Melania patriotism moments, my favorite was when she stood next to the president, and waved a bunch. Congratulations to the FLOTUS.
3 days ago
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On behalf of Emma Stone, thank you
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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Ian Miles Schlong
Evan
3 days ago
This testimony has to be one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever heard 😂
add a skeleton here at some point
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add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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add a skeleton here at some point
4 days ago
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Holy fuck the president is a demented moron. Send help
add a skeleton here at some point
4 days ago
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