GOOD GRAVY AND THE ENTIRE FILM IS LIKE THIS

why is he being so cute today? 🥺

planning the first eyes wide shut party for the future lunar base

Appreciate the tldr

Wow. I can almost imagine what hearing Lincoln at Gettysburg must have been like.

i love waking up feeling like a spent piñata with no candy to show for it

“Your speech was great, Sir!”

Why are people born on March 31 so easy to prank on April Fools? They were literally born yesterday

LOL no he is not. He got beat in 2024 by Gukesh Dommaraju, who has been world champion for the last two years.

IMPORTANT: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qdpn...

In her defense, she actually is unwell.

Sam is looking pretty rough

What did we learn? Nothing. Well, did he at least sound good? No

Footage captured from passengers on an airliner above Florida, showing the exact moment the Artemis II mission lifts off.

So we’re televising Facebook posts now?

I wonder why that guy who was President from 2017 to 2021 didn’t do anything to end the 40+ war with Iran.

I do think it can be frustrating for people to confront the fact that you can do everything right in terms of skill, talent and work and still not succeed because of factors outside of one's own control. But this is just a fact of life, in writing and outside of it. Just do the best work you can.

My local drugstore permanently unlocked the shampoo aisle. We won the war against the imaginary shoplifters.

Elon very confused by the lack of rapid disintegration from this moon rocket

haha I love this disclosure:

remember the rocket launch is happening in spite of the trump administration, not because of it

Watching the Artemis countdown. It’s pretty fascinating how sophisticated the safety procedures are.

S P A C E P A C E www.youtube.com/watch?v=tg2N...

Hi there, I'm Barbara and I work on the Artemis II Lunar Science team. I'll be here for a couple hours while watching the preparations for launch and happy to take your questions! www.youtube.com/live/Tf_UjBM...

Oh so now copyright matters.

What an end to that game. Emotional and spinning out of control. Absolutely nuts. #Arsenal lose 0-1 but win the tie on aggregate 3-2. It looked like Bompastor didn’t actually leave after her red card? She just left the technical area.

please feel free to ignore Supreme Court coverage that lies about the citizenship case being “legally complicated”… www.nytimes.com/2026/04/01/u... (via @katz.theracket.news in theracket.news/p/breaking-s...)

"Do you also dismiss the mass rape of Jewish and Israeli women by Hamas?" He was clearly saying that regardless of what Hamas did on October 7, it doesn't justify Israel leveling Gaza. That's fair? Even Bari Weiss' website understood that was the context. (They just think that it does justify it)

Third Way, January 2025: No more litmus tests! Democrats must "reject the pledges!" Third Way, March 2026: Here's a litmus test!

Was she trying to sound like a literal Scooby Doo villain?

Some people call this "sane-washing" but I think a better description is when the real Trump falters, they sub in a fake, imaginary Trump into their stories. Beyond cleaning up untidy remarks to make them sound more coherent: "Trump super concerned with nuclear proliferation" is an imaginary guy

I don’t love how every antisocial aspect of Twitter that gets replicated over here is then treated as a unique facet of Bluesky’s culture. Dogpiling is a Twitter thing and it’s still happening exponentially more on X than here

"And no one in Germany puts an end to this murderous government"

People born during the 2008 election season will be voting for congress this year. They consider all of your favorite songs from before 2010 as old people music.

I have seen this but happy to share if for others who are annoyed at this jackass. He really got bodied too. No takedown defense, no answers once they’re on the ground.

If you woke up yesterday and found out we were firing four astronauts at the moon and the launch was today, raise your hand

Nearly every April Fool’s post I’ve seen has been for a fake product that I actually genuinely would want to buy???

Pre-order Molly Crabapple's new book: Here Where We Live is Our Country: The Story of the Jewish Bund: www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/646320...

Massive game today for the #Arsenal women at Chelsea in the second leg of their Champions League quarterfinal. Fortunately Arsenal are up by two goals on aggregate, but I expect that it will still be a very tough match. If Chelsea score first, it will be what they call “squeaky bum time” in England.

Meanwhile ICYMI: IN JAN 6 CIVIL CASE

i feel bad for this kid man. for the rest of his life every person in his family will have ‘remember when you jerked off and ruined all our lives’ as ammunition

this user can turn coke zero into mana

I saw a skeet from someone saying we shouldn’t use the birthright citizenship case as an opportunity to give props to SCOTUS. I don’t know who would do that (Matt Yglesias maybe), but yeah. If they get this one right, it does nothing to change the fact that they suck. This is just a terrible case.

Nap time

If we’re going to let a Kiefer Sutherland role shape federal policy it should the The Lost Boys

lmao Justice Kavanaugh: So this could be a short opinion where we just say Wong Kim Ark was right, this is affirmed? Cecilia Wang: ...Yes. Audience: [laughter] The Trump administration's argument against birthright citizenship is literally laughable