This is one of my favorite tweets. It explains so much

I imagine it was extremely disturbing

Sometimes it amazes me how well Back to the Future 2 nailed the Trump presidency

given the existence of skeleton and luge, i postulate the existence of two other, yet to be discovered, winter olympic sports

Weed and Innervisions

I will never understand where people who work M-F find the energy to go out and do social activities on a Friday night

having your city noticed by the president is now a natural disaster on par with a hurricane or major flood

This is sad. If you haven’t already, look up Don’t Trust the B* in Apt 23, his cameo was amazing on that show

Great explainer from @ericlevitz.bsky.social here about why the tech people you know, even the AI-skeptics, are starting to talk about AI the way public health people in February 2020 were talking about COVID — and whether they're right to do so (gift link)

Well, for the foreseeable future it looks like I’m gonna be dealing with near constant sciatica pain until chemo or radiation can reverse the damage. Time to finally get a standing desk I guess.

How do you even find out you’ve got Olympic level talent at something like curling or luge, that’s what I want to know

I guess Trump didn’t want to watch Kid Rock

Well that does it, Mike Tyson has convinced me to stop eating twinkies

WINTER OLYMPIC ATHLETE: *does the most impressive and dangerous athletic maneuver I have ever seen in my life* COMMENTATOR: oooh she has to be disappointed with that run. if she commits self harm we would all understand

Surprised he was tall enough to be let in in the first place

sabrina carpenter singing islands in the stream w the muppets has healed me in ways i did not know i needed

“Like a dog” was always his go-to even though it seldom made sense… so wait does this mean he’s finally learning what dogs are?

Over the past two weeks I've begun to realize that rich people only started funding chatbots once they could no longer email Jeffrey Epstein

So I haven’t read the article, what’s the deal with the ski jumpers? They’re using their dicks like helicopters to get more hang time? Cool idea tbh

Money can’t buy Elon happiness because no amount of money could ever make him cool

Just turned on the Bucks game and they’re up by over 20 points. Just watch, they’ll somehow still end up losing

I hate being ruled by bad spellers

friend of mine is an undocumented immigrant and has been hiding in Melania theaters bc he knows people assume no one is in there

About a year in was when I found out I had cancer. I definitely look and feel like a wizened old man compared to pre-pandemic me

american conservatism is not the preservation of fire but the worship of ashes

Why stop there? No money for DHS unless Miller is forced to admit Elon is banging his wife.

Perhaps they should stop winding it

Just measured my cat’s head and folks it gives me no pleasure to report this but it turns out he’s pretty dumb, even for a cat

I used to follow a ton of right wing accounts back in the Walter era and all that I got out of reading the shit they posted was mad. It’s not good for you. These people are morons.

If I said Dan Bovino which dipshit do you picture first?

(Dude suddenly stops pushing his broom across the floor of the Death Star) Does this look like a big laser to anyone else

"sir, you know his literal name is 'greg of cow,' right?" i tell trump in a hushed tone. dhs is dissolved within an hour

All he has left now is his long silly coat. I hope they take that away too

I hope Kristi Gnome’s inevitable defenestration is as good as Bovino’s is turning out to be

Bovino pricing flights to Buenos Aires.

Yes, these younger generations would much rather read Ayn Rand or the Bible than Harry Potter

I wonder how they’d smear me if ICE shot and killed me in the street. It’s kind of funny to think about it mainly because I’m so boring they wouldn’t know where to start

look, they keep coming to our homes and telling us they know where we stay. so it only seems fair we know where they stay

I stand for the anthem even if I’m at home 🇱🇷🇱🇷

In fairness, most of us here were raised on AOL instant messenger so we got a lot of practice for this leaving cryptic away messages in hs/college

Every time I see a picture of Greg Bovino I am reminded of Tobias Fünke with fresh hair plugs

This feeling takes some of the sting off of having cancer

There has been an increasing sense in Minneapolis that we are on our own, that our elected representatives are unwilling and/or unable to take action to get these murderous Nazi thugs out of our community. I really hope that changes today. The time for pleading TV hits ended weeks ago.

Iron law of Trump 2: no matter how bad things get, they can always get worse.

Dead Walter I saved this tweet years ago and think about it approximately once every three months but now you have me thinking about it again

Time for a fancy dinner at the Olive Garden