Pasta Fazool
@christopherdowning.bsky.social
đ€ 911
đ„ 453
đ 410
My Nonsense:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:c43wr2lokhmmk53ipxhhunsm/feed/aaahcn2qzzoka
pinned post!
Chairs are pretty great. You can fight a lion, or sit if you want.
about 1 year ago
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Bill Gates has admitted to having two affairs while he was married. It goes to show you, even a nerd with a bad haircut can get laid.
3 days ago
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alexis simpson
3 days ago
investing in a wet vac (throwing my dyson into the pool)
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Kellalena
3 days ago
Forgot my heating pad on the wild side.
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chris.
3 days ago
I only get sick at the prospect of having to be around other people.
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Bill Gates has admitted to having two affairs while he was married. He really threw the sanctity of his marriage right out the windows.
3 days ago
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The biggest thing keeping me from being a pilot is my irrational fear of flying.
6 days ago
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Ryan âĄïž SmokeOut 2026
6 days ago
Please share vids and pics of your doggies in the snow âŹïž
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Fun
6 days ago
hey guys, whatâs up. live streaming the state of the union so you donât have to OH MY GOSH HE DID A FLIP
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chris.
6 days ago
I eat noodle. I breathe noodle. I read noodle. I sleep noodle. I? I am noodle.
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Whenever I go to the dentist, I always remind him that I didnât consent to a cavity search. Never gets a laugh.
6 days ago
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And I thought Fred Durst ruined red hats.
6 days ago
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ceej
7 days ago
I did not realize until age thirty that your face canât actually get stuck like that
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donni saphire
7 days ago
Discovering an awesome new band actually makes me angry now. Like bro I do NOT have time for this, but fine
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Viktor Winetrout
7 days ago
Just destroyed my therapy cat on Yelp
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[Sic] Burns
6 days ago
Knowing what you know now would you ever get on a see-saw with another human being
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Once youâve seen a clown do karate, youâll be a little more careful about who you laugh at.
8 days ago
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chris.
8 days ago
My hunchback will someday be a burial mound.
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Ygrene
8 days ago
[octopus mom when octopus child is misbehaving] i am going to count to EIGHT
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andy vs.
8 days ago
If anyone saw how I load a dishwasher I'm sure I would be arrested
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âȘMy favorite thing to do at the aquarium is standing in front of the blowfish tank and asking everyone who passes by where Hootie is. âŹ
9 days ago
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ficklenuts
9 days ago
The most important part of assembling any type of furniture is to install at least one part the wrong way so that you have to take everything apart and redo it
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Pru
9 days ago
Sorry if I'm messing things up this is my first time living through a dystopia
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chris.
9 days ago
It is important for me to live close to public transit because I communicate telepathically with the city buses while I sleep.
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Viktor Winetrout
9 days ago
Dr. Seuss struggling not to rhyme as he delivers his dadâs eulogy
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Just like the Indian in the Cupboard, only it's my toothbrush that's come to life, and all it does is bitch about me not flossing enough.
10 days ago
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B đ
10 days ago
canât believe i evolved from primordial ooze for this *gestures to everything*
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chris.
10 days ago
Running around, smacking strangers upside the head, screaming the mortally wounded screams of the perpetually "not it."
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Marjorie James Keenan
10 days ago
what if, for daylight saving time, we spring forward one hour and three years, what then?
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Ygrene
10 days ago
the radical left cashier at the checkout is trying to make me pay for my groceries
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River Side Casino
10 days ago
Our salon does not do weird things with your hair trimmings after you leave. They just do the normal things with it.
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I wonder what they do with the sleeves when they make a vest.
17 days ago
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Ygrene
17 days ago
just felt an emotion that i can only describe as âphone is badâ
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chris.
17 days ago
I don't understand your haircut but it continues to speak to me in its incomprehensible tongue.
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Being done with school, it makes me sad to know I might never dissect something again.
18 days ago
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If my grandmother taught me anything, it's that once you take your shirt off in public to fight someone, you HAVE to fight someone.
21 days ago
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BooBooKitty
21 days ago
I already have a full time job, itâs called anxiety
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[Sic] Burns
21 days ago
I canât watch any more Olympics because I keep swatting at those little drones and these TVs arenât cheap
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Pasta Fazool
stefan
21 days ago
"free gift"? what other kind of gift is there?
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sweetie Ï
21 days ago
my favorite thing about the olympics are the medicine ads explaining to me how theyâre going to kill me
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They just started the pregame show for next yearâs superbowl.
22 days ago
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Trumpers are going to be so disappointed when they figure out that despite his name, kid rock isnât underage.
26 days ago
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âȘLyrics can be used in a court of law as evidence. Thatâs how Shakiraâs hips beat those perjury charges. âŹ
23 days ago
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chris.
23 days ago
I love it when people cancel plans with me so I can both bemoan my abandonment and not have to go out at the same time.
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sweetie Ï
23 days ago
putting a rotisserie chicken on each hand and boxing people at costco
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Viktor Winetrout
23 days ago
Shout out to the free samples lady who gave me the Heimlich
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The phrase long arm of the law implies that there's also a short arm of the law, which would make it pretty difficult for the law to buy shirts.
23 days ago
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According to the constitution, you legally do not have to leggo their eggo.
24 days ago
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Mary
24 days ago
I found the way to get along at work is to simply repeat only the adjective someone uses to tell you about something. So if theyâre like, I have to tell you about this amazing call. I listen, pause for a second like Iâm taking it in, and then say, Amazing.
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donni saphire
24 days ago
Iâm still hoping to eat a new kind of sandwich someday⊠life is a rich pageant of possibility
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