What in the grifting

Someone called me a dumbass and honestly I’ve never felt so understood

Secretly dosing my friends with Tylenol so they’ll want to play 40K

TIL that John Williams’ son is the lead singer for Toto and I can’t really process that.

It’s so sad that they put down Jimmy Kimmel just because he started peeing in the house

Coworkers are loving the recent hollow emptiness of my eyes

Guzzling Tylenol til piss myself to own the CONS

Happy First Day of Fall pawpals! 🍁🍂🎃🧡🤎 #rileywillowmollie #pittiemix #blacklabs #dogsofbluesky #Fall #AutumnEquinox

It was the rapture of times it was the rapture of times

Or a man who’s wife name is cooler than his

I’m not sure what’s happening with the Tylenol thing but I did make a joke a couple weeks ago about how like 5 people died in 1982 from cyanide poisoning in Tylenol and now I get another headache everytime I have to open a bottle of Tylenol

I know this isn’t a big deal for all of you that “have jobs,” but I made 110 bucks yesterday in my first notary gig that scored me two travel fees and 3 signatures which is a great day. now I just have to do that like 2000 more times

I bet we all could make a hit show

my mom took tylenol when she was pregnant, which made me super focused on menswear and now i have a million followers on twitter

the rapture shall not come before october 3rd. thank you for your attention to this matter.

podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/c... Good episode

i will never vote for someone who sends me a text

I’m continental cuz I eat buffet

If I haven’t eaten my body weight in carbs by 8 in the morning I demand my money back from the hotel.

How long can you kiss a puppet before it gets weird

I only have a few friends but hopefully I’ll be able to get rid of them soon

Oh, Rhamondre.

In the BlueSky olden days we’d pack a picnic lunch on Sunday afternoons and saunter down to the mill stream to fire off bangers in our bare feet

Marco Rubio “it’s so easy to go on a podcast,” “Charlie Kirk Went on Podcasts”

The Mary edition

Last repost I owe Disney adults an apology.

it also never occurred to her to look at Bill Clinton playing the sax and say “hey get rid of this guy”

While all you assholes are canceling Disney because Jimmy Kimmel, I’m watching the eu reject the war in Palestine

eric clapton. when he comes out on stage people clap for him so much that’s why he’s called that because of the clapping that surrounds him

No one was boycotting Disney when we found out they had to share employee underwear

Thinking about letting the sun going down on me

Antifa All night think if fucking ass

Everyone acting like they weren’t gonna cancel Disney anyway just like all of us acting like Jimmy Kimmel has anything to say

Alexa just went from fantasy by Mariah Carey to Neil young harvest moon

Hi, which of the Four Horsemen are you? I'm Pants.

Before you swipe right on anyone, you need to swipe right on yourself first bro.

Alexa can you play that song that’s like Chaka khan Chaka khan

Chaka khan chaka khan chaka khan

First they came for Jimmy Kimmel

Babies in strollers should still wear shoes, I'm not trying to see your feet, baby.

Can we go back to trying to get Mehdi Hassan back on tv first

Mickey Mouse is short for Michael Mousethus

I hope they like the hotdish I'm bringing to the big ANTIFA meeting tonight.

Uhhh didn’t your country balkanize over cough medicine

We can’t boycott abc because that’s what Chanel jeopardy is on You fucking simps

Wtf

AP USHIST students in study group in 2062; Do you remember who was leading the Kimmelites after the fall of Andoria?

So what happens to all the roosters?