I wanna sound smart for a second. Avatar has all the depth and beauty of a hotel room landscape. did this sound smart? let me know

"can you believe what will stancil has been saying on blue sky? he's saying a bunch of dumb stuff about kat abughazaleh's campaign" my autistic 6yo nephew: you can fist bump me goodbye but I don't like hugs

she likes an ear grab

the ideal morning routine: wake up not knowing where you are. vape until you feel sick. start to jack off and fall into racking sobs. smoke weed so you stop feeling anything. finish jacking off. vape until you feel sick. put on socks

late night grill cheese hits so good

ranked top 5k in the bazaar last night should I do it?

can a dyke just listen to some morherfucking hall and oates without it being a federal case

think about it could dying be the worst thing being tortured would be worse

put my world famous comic "the dog that says hi" up on my wall

I’ve been trying to get prescribed adderal - my doctors keep telling me It’s for kids. Trying to cut up a little and get locked in on my studies. I heard it can make you fuck all night.

you and your partner should get regularly tested for ADHD even if you're monogamous

IT book: Maine's version of the KKK, organized by derry's ruling class, burns down the Black Spot because it became more popular than the bars they banned the black soldiers from and white women were going there and they couldn't get it shut down politically Derry: 4 guys think murderer is there

welcome to Derry will lead to a prequel series to the shining but they won't be able to remake the shining because a: that movie was good and b: they fucked up halloran so bad it wouldn't make any sense. also this show is ass absolute ass

someone check on northernlion

real

why does the food in family guy look so good 😭

ai propaganda is now just "you don't like this, buuuuuuut what if you did?"

why is it cute

if I had a big wet bed I wouldn't be lying in it, just saying

I'm never losing my vape again

dickworld - terry pratchett

dickworld- terry pratchett

don't fuck with my desk toys

I just approved poop to be made in my butt

squeezing my butt like a zit to get the poop out

one thing I don't understand is cups is bigger than straws so why plastic cup paper straw? we already know paper is cups and I'm so sad so sad right now

I’d like to see one of these tech ceo dickheads invent something like soap, or olive oil

guy who's only heard northernlion gay bob dylan song parodies hearing weird al for the first time: getting a lot of northernlion vibes from this

I respect eastern civilization. soft pretzel, cheese steak, I'm walkin heah, ayup, things of this nature.

pissed off my cat so she went over and bit my roommate

trans by birth gay by choice big titty top by da grace a god

just watched the movie "don't do the 14 leg parlay that kills you" and thinking maybe I should do the 14 leg parlay that kills you

(flirting) you look a lot like one of my dead friends

jk rowling is extremely important to british culture because her books showed the world english boarding schools are much more than pedophile dens. they're also very racist

I love telling people I don't have ocd

June Henry musical artist

Octavia Butler in every book: "what if you had to fuck so bad cause of science reasons"

"northernlion's voice got deeper" "northernlion went bald young" he's literally a youngshit deepbeef stealth trans guy and you're outing him

I love being the office transsexual I love coming up with a shitty pun and everyone thinks it's the funniest thing they've ever heard

how you call yourself a dom and you can't drive

A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in

panel 1: charlie brown sits at a bar, a photograph in his hand "thinking about him again?" says a voice offscreen panel 2: Linus slides into the seat next to Charlie, a blue rag in his pocket "every night" says charlie, not looking up "what good will it do? he's not coming back" says linus

I love masturbating to graven images

message from G

getting a surgery where they vacuum all the meat out of my dick while leaving the skin tube intact

we have caught and dicked down, to a permanent end, osama bin laden.

how did America get this reputation with the Dutch being actual burger people