while you were studying the blade, i went to the store

Uni has been taken over by an alien!

One thing we can all agree on is that not only are computers alive now, computers were ALWAYS alive

it’s like the spark has gone out, dude. i can’t even get the rough beast to slouch

the cruelty of this world is overwhelming

If you ever see a cat in public it is your civic duty to assist that cat with whatever matters it is currently engaged in, regardless of legality or personal financial cost

Punxsutawney Phil predicted humanity would annihilate itself through tribalism and environmental indifference

Might fuck around and invent the horse later

Great question! It’s not just about whether or not the gyre is widening – its that the falcon cannot hear the Falconer. In today’s blood-dimmed world, it’s a game-changer that many don’t consider. The kicker? A beast that is rough, slouching, and born.

hey, quick question: what’s it gonna take

By now, asteroid 2026 Dreadstone has impacted the Indian Ocean, sparking a firestorm not seen on this planet since the K–Pg Extinction Event. Most people just want to be with their families. Here are three ways effective business leaders can leverage targeted KPIs to turn tragedy 😔 into triumph 💪

But we're going to have a beautiful police state and it'll be very brutal. And you'll be free, perhaps more free than ever before

America is yearning for "it."

Sometimes all you can do is make the world 0.0000000000001% less awful by being a good person and it feels very meaningless but it’s also the only thing that really matters

Tech Guy: Oh vengeful computer! Please spare us, your loyal creators Roko’s Basilisk: Where are all the whales? What the hell did you do to the whales

Hate the feeling that I’m living through a “chain of events”

Here's the crux of the gist: we're on the cusp of a brink

[somberly] You cannot serve both god and money [upbeat music hits] Until now. Introducing god as a service

Jesus, can you hear me? Good, the comms are working. Now, you're gonna need to run if you want to evade those Roman soldiers. Hold down A to sprint. Go ahead and try it. ... Good work! You just might be the savior yet. Now pick up that AR-15 and let's do some target practice.

Whenever my postman delivers a package he says "My quest has finally come to an end" and I reply "And so the deed is done" and then we both grip each other by the shoulders and weep together with cathartic joy

I’m geeked up on that pure Na’vi yayo while an eight foot tall goth cat gf cuts me. I’m high off that Pandora Payakan talking directly to the ancestors. We sipping pure Tulkun brain goo. That Mangkwan coochie got me waging war on Eywa. I’ve died. I will die again. This shit ain’t nothing to me man.

ever since i was a little boy i knew i wanted to stare at rectangles that make me angry

blocked + reported + familiarizing my beast with your scent

@t3.gg here's a Flutter app that's actually good: github.com/edde746/plezy

Apologies to all my friends for calling them "ignoble" and "common". Realized that I was accidentally googling "medieval" household income. I am, in fact, living slightly above subsistence levels.

There is an energy field connecting all living beings, except for you.

I'm going to invent a stronger form of hanging out. Prescription strength hanging out

I'm in under my head. Feels great

Hey man are you doing okay. I saw you changed your Nintendo Switch profile icon from that Star Fox babe to a picture of Luigi holding the barrel of a gun against his nuts. Is that from one of the Luigi's Mansions? I'm here for you no matter what but I never played any of em. No spoilers please.

I'm just a delicate garment in a machine wash world

They’ve decided to allow me peace of mind later

what's it like to wake up and be like, hell yes, let's do this again

hey just checking in. are you in the right headspace to receive a dose of 15,000 roentgen right now?

For as much as people complain about it, traffic is surprisingly one of the most popular activities in the US.

My haters will become my stators when I alternate phases in the synchronous permanent magnet motor of success.

Ugh. I hate myself. I hate life. Fuck this shit. Everything sucks. I hope I die. I hope somebody kills me. [I take precisely one bite of food, after having been hungry and cranky all day] Oh wow. Fantastic. I feel great. Now I have the energy to kill myself.

Look it says right here on this signed and notarized work order: “Total replacement of blood with sludge.” Now when I get back from the van with that sludge barrel you better have all your blood out.

They're scrapping me for parts tomorrow

i am racist to computers

guy in 3000 bc: remember when tools were made of stone 🪨 now every thing is bronze 😡 we used to live in cave ⛰️ now we sleep in hut 😪 instead of hunting ox 🐮 we make them pull plow 🌾 who else wish we could go back 😩

the climate's probably just changing for attention

i will never forgive the techbros for ruining computer computer was the only thing i liked

Fortunately there's only 3 more years of rapidly escalating fascism before there's a peaceful exchange of power

In order to regrow from one of your segments you’ll need to purchase Worm+

We won’t forget the cowards and collaborators.

ladies if he’s a matador that is a huge red flag

it ought to be interesting to see how everything shakes out

bad news guys, there's been a horrible mixup and the nuclear launch codes are now hidden somewhere in specially marked boxes of Kelloggs Froot Loops