Trump: It's not working! Why don't they love the fair? How do I make the crowds cheer? Oracle of DC: If you test your strength against the heat with a very long speech, the nation will celebrate harder than they ever have. They will party in the streets. No one will ever forget the night.

Sony is taking this away from us

“They were also the crews on slave ships, though obviously not the captains” he added.

We had a really mean python at work and I gave him back to his owner and was like “he was trying to kill me” and his owner said “well, he only has so many ways to interact with the world. All he has is a face” and it Moved Me

It really is the most important fact about the time.

Please Use AI

My students are always learning my six sacred techniques then trying to use them against me in battle. Obviously I'm going to use the secret seventh technique to defeat them. Every day with this.

And the Michelin Man removed the tire from his waist and gave it to them, saying, “Take this and drive; for this is my body.”

if a cop pulls you over start shooting #lawyer #legaladvice

Both Messi and Ronaldo have complimented Trump so it's not about either men's actual politics. Here's my best explanation for this phenomenon: authoritarians think Ronaldo is better because they're fucking stupid

Graphic design is my passion.

A question many readers have asked after reading "Evil Up Close: The Rise of the Triarchy and the End of the 100 Year Peace" is "couldn't you have done more as one of the Triarchs?" But you have to understand that 33% is not a lot of all the power to have, and I had some anxiety at the time.

Archaeologists: D.C. Capitol May Have Once Been Used For Legislating

in this 4-hour video essay we will be covering a surface level analysis while making several fundamental errors. patreon in description

#junicorn day 16 ‘kintsugi’

one thing i did really like about living in france was living in a country that was responsible for slaughtering so many english people over untold centuries. i admired them. the sallow european marsh ape have butchered each other for millennia for things like saying si instead of oui or vice versa

Important reminder: it is "father's day" not "good father's day" you are not excused from honoring bad fathers and they deserve the exact same amount of love and appreciation ❤️

lmao poor yorick. they got his ass

my mayor is muslim, my bacon egg cheese gentile, my president is a freaking pedophile

Wonderful

lotta people on here:

the entire new york knicks team is sitting cageside at the white house tonight. "donald trump showed up for us. now we're showing up for him" your favorite player said

i'm happy for all knicks fans, of course, but this win means a little more to those of us who jumped on the bandwagon over the last four years. unlike the lifelong fans who root for any knicks team they put out there, we chose this team specifically. these are our guys. this is our championship

i hate her guts, but making a sports bet with ted cruz is undeniably a good piece of business

The most KAT thing of all time — he was holding up the walkway off the court because he wanted to share the trophy with Knicks fans, so he stopped and leaned into the stands to let a bunch of them touch it. They reacted like it was the best moment of their lives.

Some years it just feels like a certain team has been kissed by fate, they just can’t lose. This year the Knicks are that team. There’s signs everywhere if you look for them

KAT: "Shoutout to my brother Anthony Edwards talking to him all the time. Those guys made me better, they made me a better leader, they made me a better player, made me the man I am today. Forever grateful for them"

unfortunately if new york elects a good mayor the knicks will be allowed to win the title

To make soccer more accessible for those of us who like to look at their phones a lot, they should show the matches on a short delay and sound an airhorn when a goal is about to be scored

yea dawg you can look up all kinds of crap on these bad boys

jigsaw: you are so addicted to social media you struck and killed a child while on your phone and driving. your selfishness took something beautiful from this would. your beauty must also suffer. i want to play a game. me (on my phone): mhmm

This is the Knicks best start all series

THAT’S TWO BIRTHRIGHT CITIZENSHIP GOALS IN THE FIRST HALF FOR TEAM USA

Ballerina. 🩰

If I were an action hero, this is what I’d say to the bad guy before the kill shot.

So tired of blacking out every full moon when I really want to stay up and help the townsfolk hunt for the werewolf

The computer lost the mandate of heaven when the humble, helpful "program" was replaced with the insidious "app"

Look, I’m sorry but I just can’t believe the Knicks came all the way back. And I bet a lot of my fellow basketball fans feel similarly. This calls into question the legitimacy of their Game Four win.

Recap if you missed it

illustration by Jack T Cole @newjackcole.bsky.social

Did Mrs. McChristmas rewatch Dinotopia recently or did its saurian wisdom just stick with her?

Every text I send my friends includes a brief bio of myself in case they forgot

Knicks fans, it’s hard to process a playoff loss after a long win streak, but take a deep breath this morning and repeat to yourself: - That WAS the series turning point - The Spurs WILL win three of the next four - The League DOES want Wemby as their new face - You CAN’T stop it

She was like “I’m getting some finishing sugars” and I thought surely she’ll be buying a normal number of finishing sugars