Brent Lewis
@brentfnalewis.bsky.social
π€ 376
π₯ 634
π 24
Reader, Writer, 'Rithmaticker
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Brent Lewis
Amish Super Model
3 months ago
FLINTSTONE VITAMINS CAUSE MEASLES!!! You heard it here first!
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Uncle Duke
4 months ago
no their not
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Jake_Vig
5 months ago
Only the toughest, most masculine men require federal military intervention and the national guard of several states to ride the subway. Take that, snowflakes!
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I can't imagine being so miserable I get mad at Superman.
6 months ago
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I feel like we all owe John Mellencamp a big apology.
add a skeleton here at some point
6 months ago
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Microplastics Sommelier
6 months ago
iβm at the taco bell iβm at the urgent care iβm at the combination taco bell and urgent care
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Cosmic Clau
8 months ago
In every line of people, there's always that one dickhead who has to keep turning around and staring at everyone behind them ππ
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Mockcarr
about 1 year ago
Just ate a really scary sandwich, I think it was an Edgar Allen Poe boy
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Thanks For Sharing, Jerk
7 months ago
This like watching two drunk raccoons fight over a hot dog
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Jason, ex Inferis
7 months ago
A lot of losers today, but Marco Rubio gets two christmases now
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Frances Meh (Forgotten Acquaintance Edition)
9 months ago
quoth the raven: "just found out we can mate with sexy crows and shit gonna get freaky forevermore"
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Soren Bowie
9 months ago
Iβve found that you can tell a lot about a man by the shoes he travels in. For instance, if he wears boots with an upturned pointed toe and a bell at the end, he is likely a jester or an elf of one kind or another.
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fungible thadiusπ₯
9 months ago
I think itβs finally time to confess that I have no idea what any of you are talking about
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ThinlyVeiledPanda
9 months ago
Slim Jim is short for Slimothy James
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Xavier Horatio Xinicit π
about 1 year ago
A pill case is like an Advent Calendar in that you open it every day until you meet Jesus
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It's Abby. Yep.
10 months ago
Are robots really not able to click those "I am not a robot" buttons? Then we got weakass robots
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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Insideβ’οΈ
10 months ago
Grimace has seen some shit.
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Uncle Duke
10 months ago
Roland couldn't wait to go to school. The other kids were gonna be totes jelly of his sweet-ass new kicks.
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Jason, ex Inferis
10 months ago
Food critics are wild. Bro, why are you bullying spaghetti?
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Viktor Winetrout
11 months ago
Just saw your text from last night. Do you still need a fire extinguisher
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redherringbear
11 months ago
earworm = rhyme in the coconut
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born miserable
12 months ago
ME: youβre smothering me SERIAL KILLER:
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Kat McSnatch
12 months ago
Studies have shown that fuck all this shit
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kim
12 months ago
porcupines are just squirrels that listen to the sex pistols
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All signs point to hell freezing over.
12 months ago
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David Marshall
12 months ago
You've just been thrown to your death by the Beatles.
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CrazyMyra
12 months ago
I've saved up enough to retire to a small island
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ππ¦ππππ πΎπ¦π£π
12 months ago
Policeman: "Got any ID?" Redneck: "'bout what?"
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alexis simpson
12 months ago
ok we KNOW where waldo AND carmen san diego are they are together and they are FUCKING and they ain't coming back until they are done
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Fickle Filly
12 months ago
Will life ever be the same again? Find out in next weekβs episode of: Not Fucking Likely.
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πππ ππππππππ ππππ ππΌπ€£π₯§πΌπ
over 2 years ago
My dermatologist: It puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the eczema again
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Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD, BOFA
12 months ago
My dad died going off the rails on a crazy train you son of a bitch
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Idle
12 months ago
One time I did a sleep study and never bothered getting the results. Everyone could tell I was terrible at it.
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Dropped Mike
12 months ago
interviewer: how are your listening skills? me: absolutely
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Christina, mother of spiders
12 months ago
When you have an 8 am zoom meeting and you woke up at 7:55 am.
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Meghan
12 months ago
How to lose a drone in 10 minutes -a memoir by my husband and 7yo
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Scott Linnen
12 months ago
Never mind TikTok. Can we ban Linkedln.
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sweetie Ο
12 months ago
βyou should thank me, youβre getting your steps in!β i yell, chasing you with a hatchet
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Fun
12 months ago
hotel mini bar stocked with little bottles of vanilla extract
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Dak
12 months ago
I pretend to still be reading a birthday card even after I notice money inside
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DeeDastardly
12 months ago
Popcorn ceilings just arenβt as tasty as youβd think.
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BEAVE
12 months ago
Iβd be a lot happier if thinking happy thoughts paid the bills.
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
12 months ago
I can write better than this but I don't want to be the one the aliens abduct and force to punch up their ultimatums.
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Wilde Thingy
12 months ago
Her: I don't believe in coincidences. Me: OMG! Me neither!
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