Stabbatha Christy
@lovenlunchmeat.bsky.social
📤 4416
📥 738
📝 430
Sentient camera. I see things. Sometimes I tell jokes.
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My dog stares out the window like he's recreating a Joe Biden meme.
11 months ago
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LovelyDeep
2 days ago
where’s the manual on how to restore myself to factory settings
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
11 months ago
I'd like to be alone now please sign out.
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DaddyJew
18 days ago
nice try your honor, but I too brought a gavel
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Forrest Plump
11 days ago
Not heartbroken, not moving on, but an insufferable third thing
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
13 days ago
I grew up in the 80s so I think I know a thing or two about saying no to drugs
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One Dog’s Opinion 🐾
11 days ago
i apologize for what i said before i had my first cup of gravy
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Salty MacTavish
11 days ago
Like the huckleberry, I can tolerate shade but fruit better in dappled light
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DaddyJew
about 1 month ago
the person who named the Woolly Mammoth should’ve been able to name more things
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Pru
about 1 year ago
The older I get, the more I sympathize with the Grinch hating all the noise, noise, noise, NOISE
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Forrest Plump
17 days ago
You’re in his DMs. I’m scribbling his name in crayon on a white padded wall.
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Idle
14 days ago
Knowledge is power but the dumbest guy you know is probably doing amazing.
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Jack Boot
7 months ago
Bugs Bunny taught me my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight; I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.
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Robert Knop
over 2 years ago
My parents are “oh yeah, I forgot to tell you I had surgery yesterday” years old
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niteynite
13 days ago
We are on year 8 with some of these gift bags and I think that's beautiful
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
over 2 years ago
When people say to me “I’ve had enough of your nonsense” I give them a little more of my nonsense, in case they were just being polite.
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Jason, ex Inferis
13 days ago
You don’t have to buy gifts for anyone when you believe in Santa.
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lalalyds
14 days ago
I see you. You're doing the best you can and I'm cheering for you ❤️
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Salty MacTavish
12 days ago
The kid who rang up my booze on Christmas Eve raises praying mantises. One is named Alpha and the other Beta. He catches crickets to feed them. I used to be his little league coach. I’d like to think I had something to do with this.
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I'mWintersMom
about 2 months ago
im a daytime midweek bowling alley ten.
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Jack
19 days ago
Every time I think a reference might be too old, BlueSky skews 5-10 years older than that.
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Marc
22 days ago
Trusting politicians to do the right thing is like trusting me not to eat all the donuts.
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💚Heather💚
2 months ago
Don't ask me for advice. I have a favorite serial killer.
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If the answer isn't "add seven more plants," then I guess I just don't understand interior design.
29 days ago
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Billhelm
8 months ago
Welcome to your 40s, your dessert is now antacids
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Steve Suckington
about 1 month ago
only gonna watch stranger things cuz I’m curious how they’re gonna explain the kids being like 30 now
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e.g. Alice Lastname
about 1 month ago
Rap battle but it's just reciting your favourite sides for thanksgiving
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Brick's House 🍁
about 1 month ago
i almost never understand what any of you are saying
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LovelyDeep
about 2 months ago
I’m grateful that so many things are none of my business.
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MisterD
about 2 months ago
Don't tell me "you'll really like these people".... I'll totally prove you wrong
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chris.
about 2 months ago
I just assume everyone's already dead until confirmed otherwise.
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Astr0z0mbreez
about 2 months ago
Ya do me a favor would you, hold on to anything beautiful & good w a grip while things get uglier
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John
about 2 months ago
If you say ‘all things being equal’ it’s a reasonable assumption that you suck at math.
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Ray
about 2 months ago
Yawns are weird. You're tired? Why don't you open your mouth really big about it? What's that? You're not tired, but you saw someone else open their mouth big? Well, guess what.
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andy vs
about 2 months ago
Sometimes what the doctor ordered is a nice lil beige meal
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The Real Kim Shady
about 2 months ago
Body count? Lays or murders?
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Jason, ex Inferis
about 2 months ago
I met a weird girl and within 20 minutes she had me eating nerd clusters straight from her hand like a horse
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donni saphire
about 2 months ago
Stockholm Syndrome is actually very nice and I love it now
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Salty MacTavish
about 2 months ago
I will break into your house to turn down the thermostat so help me
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Blair Loudly
10 months ago
accidentally cloned myself and our food bill is going to be atrocious
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Dak
about 1 year ago
I always carry a piece of paper in my pocket just in case someone ever tries to attack me with a rock
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Little Greenis
about 2 months ago
If you’ve dated more than one Walter you’re letting them Walts right into your life.
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los 🦦
about 2 months ago
one more into the coin jar, aka the pennytentiary
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Tits McDick
about 2 months ago
I’m rehearsing for Thanksgiving by crying hysterically while eating mashed potatoes with my hands.
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Brosephine Wires
about 2 months ago
Building a new stretch of road called Dead Man’s Curve. It’s going to be great, the kids are gonna love it
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
about 2 months ago
H. P. Lovecraft had a better name for writing porn than sci fi and horror. Just sayin’.
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Pru
2 months ago
I just love fall. Bathing in pumpkin spice latte, eating crunchy leaves, eating sweaters knitted from the hair of my neighbors. Hard to pick a favorite really.
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Astr0z0mbreez
about 2 months ago
When they used to pick ppl for teams in gym I’d just disappear & walk around the halls, find teachers on break & ask how the fam was doin
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Astr0z0mbreez
about 2 months ago
Listen kids, when you stare into a rain cloud for too long it becomes a mirror
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Little Greenis
2 months ago
Christmas puns will ruin this place. Yule see.
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Tusk Jenkins
about 2 months ago
You know how when you uncover enough universal truths you reach a free personal one, I just got a realizations on off switch
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