Chucky’s mad, but I would be too. He’s been in overalls since the 80s.

In an ideal world, people’s outsides would match their insides.

my favorite part of rock bottom are all the pretty rocks

Things are falling apart as planned.

I feel like "MAGAsplaining" should be a word.

Don't forget to be an asshole in the internet today

Everything is awful, find joy wherever you can. 💜💙🩵🩷❤️

When ghosts are unemployed, they go job haunting.

If this gets reskeeted 483,000 times I’ll buy a miniature donkey.

Be my peace or gtfo

Beethoven alive: Composer Beethoven dead: Decomposer

Have your demons summon my demons.

All baseball players should wear brown pants. That way they won’t look so dirty every time they slide.

I like to set the mood by playing the steel drums.

Her eyes were cloudy...like a Waffle House window.

I see you just posted something inspirational. First time on the internet?

I’m starting to suspect the government doesn’t want what’s best for me

calm down, dishwasher

good morning text from my favorite bird at the feeder

The theme was "What are you going to be when you grow up?"

People say I'm unemotional but I'm pretty sure resentment is an emotion.

if by complicated you mean stupid then yes I am that

I hate when my ex walks up while I'm performing witchcraft.

Hi my name is Kim and I’m a nervous wreck. It’s been 2 hours since I asked someone wtf are you staring at

The problem with this country is the lines to buy a lottery ticket are longer than the lines to vote.

Sometimes you just need to sit down and have a good, long talk with yourself. You may be surprised by what you learn.

Years ago I was told I didn't know what I wanted. I still don't, but I know it's not this.

My tolerance for bullshit shortens every second. Please pray for those within my reach.

- I love the sparkle in your eyes. - It’s anxiety.

“AI is going to replace you.” I hope so. I can’t take this shit anymore.

I provide a free streaming service with no ads where It's just me making sure all my pee gets into the toilet.

I wish my mind was dishwasher safe.

Today is sponsored by insatiable curiosity and a vague sense of impending doom

If sadness burned calories, I’d be so jacked.

the rhythm needs to get over here and get me

It’s not you, it’s my commitment to misreading everything.

I’m fluent in unsent messages.

“Do you want me to give you lots of attention or leave you alone?” Me: Yes.

If you listen carefully, you can hear hindsight laughing at you.

I'm very much like a superhero in that I too enjoy wearing my undergarments on the outside

When I say it's the least I could do, rest assured the least I could do is actually nothing

Of course I live in the past, have you seen the present?

The premise of The Exorcist is truly terrifying. Imagine having a 12-year-old daughter.

I’m going to get a lot done today or fall asleep trying.

hey,maybe we should just make a list of WHO HASN’T experienced childhood trauma

Falling asleep as soon as the movie starts is where I shine

It is perfect alien abduction weather tonight. (fingers crossed)

In the mood for something spooky? Turn around.

Sometimes I feel as if we’re all Schrodinger's cat.

Ooo America you in trouble girl