Niche tabletop RPG skeet incoming: I kind of want to hack Blades in the Dark to set a game in Zootopia. This has been a niche tabletop RPG skeet.

I am a simple woman

mamdani wants to implement radical vivecian law

i'm the type of account that only posts POSITIVE posts such as "i am POSITIVE trump sucks unmitigated donkey ass"

[first date on beach in Oregon] So I heard you like long walks on the beach [weeks later on beach in California] Holy shit you weren’t kidding

i am a slut for a fried egg on any kind of bread

is that good

thanks for having me on the broadcast, ryan seacrest. great to be here. i'm looking forward to the year twenty twenty SEX lol

look at my slutty french shepherd's pie

gonna look like peter parker’s first night alone after figuring out he could blast webs all over the place

I'm not saying that we could reduce violence of all kinds by an order of magnitude by demanding universally better work breaks for all but I am saying we should try it and see what happens. I am hereby collecting signatures for the newly launching Siestas for All campaign

That’s right.

hope it doesn't explode on takeoff like the others

i aint reposting that shit but i will give you a like and youll thank me for it

Happy Alf Hogmanay

On the eighth day of Christmas My true love gave to me Eight Alf hogs Seven Alf hogs Six Alf hogs Five Alf hoooooogs Four Alf hogs Three Alf hogs Two Alf hogs And an Alf hog in a pear tree

wait is something specific happening today or

Should auld acquaintance be forgot As we drink eggnog? Should auld acquaintance be forgot And gaze on Alf's big hog?

ALF HOG SLUNG BY FUCK ALF, THE ALF WHO FUCKS

ur gay

This is a dare

remember! do not say or do things that would tempt The Universe to punish your casual hubris

Happy New Year, Bluesky (after dark edition).

Happy New Year, Bluesky.

🎶 Owl house In the middle of my tree Owl house Where little owls like to sleep Owl house 🎶

My bf’s fave candy is Nerds. Was kinda disappointed to find out he’s into cannibalism.

Mentally unstable man pussy!?! I think they opened for the Cows at 1st Avenue in 1995

There is no next year, only Zuul.

(cannibal) more like 🎶 savory caroline🎵

Back in my day Bluesky didn’t have inboxes. Dick pics roamed free on the feed like wild horses.

twelve grapes don’t fail me now

There is a concept in Judaism that Judaism is not defined as just what it is in a vacuum or on paper, but it is what Jews actually do. Lots of examples of practices that were adopted culturally instead of "officially," like mezuzot. I would also say "hypnosis is what hypnotists do." Thread 1/

All of us trying not to voice all the crazy shit we’re feeling means there’s a lot of people running around just feeling crazy shit.

I ate another white chocolate Lindt truffle so you wouldn't have to.

♫Shout Shout I’m short and stout This is my handle and this is my spout Pour on I’m tipping for you Pour on ♪

[New Year's Eve] Me: What are you doing? Friend: Burning some sage so 2026 will be a better year. Me: We're way past sage. This requires a flamethrower, gasoline, strange arcane rituals, a few sacrifices to the eldritch gods, and a lot of alcohol.

Wanted to end this funky year with beauty. We took the kids to the Studio Museum of Harlem. Thought I’d share some of the loveliness. Thread below. Guardian (in yellow), 2020. Naudline Pierre.

Someone I know was dating a guy whose parents only spoke Spanish. In preparation for meeting them she tried to learn some basic small talk phrases she could use. Anyway, one of the first things she said to her boyfriend’s parents upon meeting them was that she had 19 buttholes.

Me when a lady shows me her boobies

giving you a proper happy new year greeting in Bluesky fashion by sliding in your DMs and telling you that smash is the bam of the boom boom and milk is a main dish.

am trak ? no, am human. that am trak *points to rails*

If "kum klaxon" isn't part of your vocabulary, it should be.

I will never abandon "UH-OH SPAGHETTI-Os" as my kum klaxon.

"GARFIELD!" makes a good substitute for swears.

One day you’re young and cool and the next you’re eating coleslaw for dessert.

"Let's not waste time with shit that has no purpose." - me, deciding against adding tomatoes and cucumbers to the platter and just sticking with cheeses and pickles to go with the dip and various crackers

Well hello little lady. Where’d you come from? What a lovely surprise. 🩷

Angel Fact: domesticating an angel is actually surprisingly easy !! simply bait them into your home with promises of Purpose, then sever their wings when theyre not looking. fun for the whole family !!