33 years ago today, an Alaskan timberwolf broke loose on The Krusty the Clown Show. “Marge Gets a Job” premiered November 5, 1992.

Makeout sesh in the sewer rave when

Hard to describe to people who have always had the streaming internet available how insane it is, with history as precedent, to just be like “I can find this random movie or TV show I just thought of and be able to watch it in seconds”

We did it, NYC! (I live in Ohio)

Some 17yo: i loved the latest film aimed at my demographic Some clinically depressed weed addicted 39yo: then youre an idiot because it sucked

nancy reagan welcoming dick cheney to hell

We’re just normal men

i need the ear powerwash. i need it

When people start looking this way to me in real life it generally means I’m about to black out

take me down to the paradise town where the grass is brown and the girls are clowns

The Amazing World Of Tomorrow

If this post gets 500 likes I’ll put a tokay gecko in my pants

PRINCESS: Why don't you ever shave your mustache? MARIO: It's-a just...well, I used to get-a blackout drunk. PRINCESS: So?

*noticeably drunk Kool-Aid man turns down the music at a party* i want everyone to piss inside me

One ticket please for the R Rated movie I am definitely old enough to see unaccompanied by an adult because I am a real adult and not a 13 year old with a fake beard and bald cap

the announcers are fast approaching fred willard in best in show

Imagine if Trump died before the game ended

Playoff hockey OT has the “snort cocaine riding a motorcycle out of a helicopter” quote, but playoff baseball extra innings is like playing Russian Roulette every fifteen seconds

JOE BUCK: Welcome to the top of the 47th [Sun rises] [Sun keeps getting bigger] BUCK: yes [World engulfed by flames] BUCK: oh god yes

How is it possible to give a single player $750,000,000 and have it turn out that you *underpaid* for him.

when you're talking to your coworker and they casually drop some real fucked up stuff in their life

"Let's take a gander at that license." “I’m so sorry, my partner’s new.” “Fuck you, Mike. It’s a good joke.”

why does that dog have suspenders

Over there sits your childhood stuffed animal slowly losing atoms to chaos. Piece by piece he says goodbye. Piece by piece you join him.

Guaranteeing the kids in my neighborhood have a legendary Halloween this year.

The kind of shit people tell you when you're working at a gas station

zohran mamdani’s whole vibe is “best muppet show guest ever,” you don’t hear rumors about him as much as even being rude to anyone, and people ostensibly in his own party are continuing to paint him as a bad person, like what the actual fuck people

Me (entering building): ok, three potentially hostile males.. two potentially hostile females.. exit is behind me, stairs look defensib— *fat guy i didnt see walks in front of me and farts in my face and i fall to the ground and start throwing up *

still a leaf in my hair 💁

showing the girls how they should use the bidet at the club tonight

Here's a photo of my friend and colleague, Jorge Bautista, getting shot in the face with a flashbang grenade. The ICE Agent is so afraid of Jorge (who was posing no threat) that he has wet himself. Please share this photo. Everyone needs to know what cowards ICE agents are.

Halloween rules

get his ass...

[at the mall] LITTLE KID: i’m lost ME: you’re at the mall

when I grow up I want to be perpetual mayoral candidate Curtis Sliwa (shot 9x)

i’m eight years old. it’s loteria night and i ask my aunt if she can stop smoking at the table

Graveyard Slut by Darkthrone

If you start talking to me about Dexter, I need you to clarify whether you're talking about the vigilante serial killer or the animated kid with the laboratory because I'm ambi-dexter-ous

we need a semester at sea for the left

you can't change the past, but you can change the future. introducing TimeGun

an opportunity to reuse this excellent comic and flex my terrible photoshop skills? you know i'm gonna pounce on it