Thats it! I hurt myself standing up. The end is near.

He won’t stop until he is stopped. Please understand this.

Assert dominance by putting your earbuds in as someone begins to tell you a story.

Why can’t a black hole just open up and take me right now?

Jesus fucking Christ I am so over hot people. Give me thin lips, a sickly pallor, forehead boils and inverted eyelids already. Just be nice for a change and I will pledge to you my eternal devotion.

Just got added to the Ugh, These People 🙄 list. I feel so seen. I’m just out here doing the Lort’s work. 🥰

The snow never stops falling on the American empire.

I like how google switched their news feed to give you articles based on relevance, not date when you search. The news is famously something you want sorted by keyword not when something fucking happened.

If you know anyone in the Pacific Northwest looking to adopt a pet, please have them look at pendletonpaws.org/adoption . If they have questions about any specific pets, please message me. I would LOVE to help some pets get adopted. Thank you! 💗

Please remember that no-kill shelters stay no-kill by being able to turn away pets when we are full. I'm trying to help all of these pets, but I have an already OVERLY full shelter. If you want to help by following @pawspendletonor.bsky.social , please do!

ME: Hey, what condiment is that? FRIEND: Soy sauce. ME: Sauce, ¿qué condimento es eso?

The beloved owner of a tableware company has passed away. Following his wake, there will be a service for 8.

Seriously thinking of starting to troll myself

Remember when we used to ask if people were single and now we just don’t care any more because everything is hell.

I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.

This needs to be Stopped now. Not in November, not in 2028. Now. Elected Democrats who don’t recognize this are worthless and weak.

Is there no end to the fuckery?

My favourite part of the day is the performing the ceremonial blanket wrap.

Some works I've been doing as practice. It's been a very long time since I've focused on doing art.

If you don’t annoy your cat do you even love them really?

Thou shalt not allow a racist fascist rapist to steal TEN BILLION DOLLARS of your taxes so he can put it into his private bank account in Qatar. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

This day in history. 1600. In Peru the stratovolcano Huaynaputina erupted, the most violent eruption ever recorded in South America. A stratovolcano is like a televolcano except a stratovolcano is more versatile and preferred by both Hendrix and Clapton.

omg not only are you still posting on x but you pay to have a little checkmark? how embarrassing for you.

They’re not even trying to hide it anymore.

It’s not multi level marketing if I never make it out of the first level 🧠

idk why i rush to post something as if someone is going to do it before i do like who else is going to think of something that unfunny and stupid lol

i’m gonna start smoking cigarettes for lent

wombats have echo location not many people know this

of COURSE there's a technology the left is excited about

Expose them all, this isn’t political. Never stop demanding justice for all of the victims. NEVER

From the bottom of my heart... fuck Chuck Schumer!

Reminding people tomorrow is "Ash" Wednesday. No gifts required will accept compliments.

Bluesky merch store: forever 38

If you’re here to eat bacon and not make it to old age, keep following!

*takes a long, slow drag off a cigarette* i was here before starter packs, back in the days of yore when you had to gain new followers the old fashioned way: by writing bad posts and being generally annoying in the replies until the mere-exposure effect eventually wore people down

*shows up to the drug deal with kohl’s cash*

For vaginigal health. 🤣

We can’t sustain a society where wealthy people can get away with what the rest of us would be put to death for.

Oh yes, those automated messages are so loving, though.

I miss "cancel comedians" where all of their bits were "You can't even say this thing I'm about to discuss for ten uninterrupted minutes and have on my Netflix special anymore."

Ice block sculpting. I've always said there aren't enough chainsaws in the Olympics.

A buzzer should go off when it's time to give up on someone.

Thanks to Ozempic, Fat Tuesday lost 16% of its body weight since last year.

BEFORE: 5 years of neglect, living 24/7 chained outdoors with only a plastic barrel for shelter. No love, no comfort—just survival. ⛓️ AFTER: 2 months after we rescued him, Ernie found his forever home. 🏠❤️ He’s learning what it means to be part of a family. 🐾 Adopt a survivor: bfp.org/adoptable 🐶

What is it like to be ChatGPT? It's like being nothing.

This day in history. 1932. With the help of WWI flying ace Wop May the Royal Canadian Mounted Police tracked down and killed the Mad Trapper of Rat River. In his pockets were 2,000 dollars, fishhooks, nails, a dead bird, a dead squirrel, and Beecham's Pills now available in the large economy size.

Why do so many substandard people obsess over eugenics like they wouldn't be on the snuff list?