www.samu3lk.com - Trying to beat Silent Hill f Tonight but maybe I won't. I gotta go at 10.

Uunnh if you turn off the AI features on GMail they show you ads nnhhhhh uuuggghhh and also I'm a stupid helpless baby who doesn't know how to install an adblocker and also I still wear diapers and my mommy still gives me rides around town *Fart noises and thrashing while pretending to die*

Larry Summers Announces He Will Step Down From Chair With Belt Around Neck

???????

The only thing the Chainsaw Man movie needed, in my opinion, is

Tech bros are investing so much in AI right now because they're trying to invent a friend who doesn't get exhausted being around them after a couple hours.

Didn't Nuzzi make those foreign language tapes for kids?

Akihiro Yamada, cover art for The Dark Tower series, 2017

Reminds me of this

They were playing Back in Black at the grocery store on the intercom and I thought about how somehow AC/DC mastered the art of sucking so much the counter resets them back around to kicking ass.

Looks like they put Deadpool in Metroid.

Every time I see some new "advancement" in AI, I close my eyes and think about that scene in the Animatrix where they're running androids over with army tanks and smashing them with hammers, except I replace the soundtrack's scary music with stuff like: www.youtube.com/watch?v=atY7...

DEBRAAA. Episode 6, The Cracks Begin To Show, available now! see.hatmode.rocks

Nearly every Canadian I've been friends with has had at least a passive interest in birdwatching and I've always internalized that as "there's more birds up there." I close my eyes and imagine a swarm of bluejays winding through the streets of Vancouver like the smoke monster from LOST.

I'm fucking sick of Jack Black's shtick.

Holy shit am I a hater????

I think I trolled Joyce Carol Oates back on my Twitter days but I'm banned there and can't go look because I also trolled Elon too hard. Ironic. The Poster's Curse.

If Kevin Smith was a rapper, all his verses would start "My name is Kevin Smith and I'm here to say..."

In this week's See Podcast Jack and I discuss what we think each other would be like with The Mask. I say I'd 100% be a terrorist supervillain and used The Joker as an example. Upon further reflection, I think I'd be closer to a funny version of Dr. Doom. Listen here: shows.acast.com/bee-podcast/...

holy shit

this fake PSA originally used stills from the movie "Blood Rage" but it also works with the movie "FUBAR"

I bet I could easily kick a Labubu's ass.

Just learned Trump recently vowed to cure cancer, but just for Dilbert.

There should be a scene in Pluribus where Rhea Seehorn's like "Well since I'm in Albuquerque and I can have whatever I want, I might as well move into the Breaking Bad house."

ATTN Target: There is absolutely nothing more important to me in this world than Being Left the Fuck Alone. I do not need or want your employees doing little songs and dances for me any more than they do. Let's all try to preserve our dignity a little.

www.samu3lk.com I want to stream Silent HIll f and that's exactly what I'm goddamn gonna do.

*Making furtive movements* lmao

Mamdani was like 10 years old on 9/11 and therefore probably didn't have anything to do with it, if I had to guess. If all Muslims are Al Qaeda by association, then all Christians are in the KKK. Hell, Rudy's Catholic, and you know what those guys get up to.

*Shaking a cup full of dice in a casino* C'mon baby, daddy needs a new pair of shoes, for sale - never worn.

nancy reagan welcoming dick cheney to hell

the dick chains he forged in life...

Hell just got another bat. Rest in piss, Dick Cheney.

I also find Morrissey to be exhausting.

Once I got invited on a bigger streamer's show and halfway through they pretended they were ending the stream so they could kick me off because I wouldn't stop talking about cannibalism and trolling the chat by saying I do stolen valor "but only for food and free movie tickets, so it's not illegal."

I'm sick of seeing people saying "unalive" and "grape" and "sewer slide". It's fucking humiliating behavior. I'm not sure how you'd get rid of censorship without it turning the whole platform into a racist right wing shithole.

I forgot to add to this: His sons were both conceived with fart particles instead of sperm. They are living fart men with poopoo instead of DNA. Shit golems. Ivana was born when Trump spit out an egg like Piccolo in Dragon Ball. Tiffany is just a myth, like the Loch Ness Monster.

Donald J Trump has a rare medical disorder where his farts come out the front so every time he farts his bozack swells up like a bullfrog throat and the fart comes out his wiener hole and it sounds like when you let air out of a balloon slowly all "Fweeeeeeeeee" and also his tears are diarrhea.

King Charles lifting an amulet, white hot and glowing with power, "Andrew Mountbatten Windsor, I strip thee of thy titles and I cast thee out!!" and a bunch of howling spirits start flying out of Andrew's mouth into the amulet as he rapidly ages, fucking wind machine and rotoscoped lightning and all

I kept putting this off because I have some freelance coming up that I had hoped would've started soon enough to cover rent. But I don't want to keep asking for money with nothing in return, so I'm offering custom ghost stories like the ones I've been posting on my blog. ko-fi.com/tylerhendrix

Guaranteeing the kids in my neighborhood have a legendary Halloween this year.

Didn't they already remake the first Halo? *Is playing Baby Steps again*

Wish I could talk to a gorilla.

I coin an adjective-case version of bimbo in this one (bimbular) and I wanna make a big fuckin deal about it until it shows up in a dictionary.

The Beverly Hillbillies should have just stayed in Tennessee or wherever. $25 million is a lot of money in the flyover states.

Tadpoles, pollywogs, and hell even most full grown frogs: I probably could kick their ass.

I'm not willing to budge from this position and if you don't wear underwear with your pajamas I'm shocked and disgusted.