Some people are saying that farting in public is impolite, others can't hear them over the sound of their farts

How about brainsmaxxing? You ever think to try doing THAT, you little creepy perverted weirdos?

"Would a Nazi say THIS-" I'm gonna stop you there. Yes. A Nazi will say anything. A Nazi will say that they love everybody equally and that they don't want to use power to harm people. They lie. They lie all the time. It's part and parcel of being a Nazi. Little lies, big lies. Doesn't matter.

Tearin around the corner like “Dad Dad Dad! You will not believe the how deep a hole I just dug!”

maybe we all died in the chicken sandwich wars and this is hell?

I just found the box of decapitated Barbie heads that I had as a little girl. I’ve been a mess for quite a while.

Been farting in the dumbwaiter.

If I want to give a seahorse a Mother's Day card, do I give it to the male?

a crowd

Woke up to see Birds of Prey is trending so here are the pics I took of a juvenile bald eagle last week. 🪶

Before the advent of the internet we had to shout at library books

If anyone is looking for a good reading suggestion, I can not recommend highly enough: books.

Have you tried eating a hot dog about it?

Earl takes his carrot EVERYWHERE

Cease fire tested as each side continually bomb each other on a regular basis

Never trust a man with a penis

One of the funniest religious principles is that you can't get into heaven with the tip of your dick.

Genuine goat scrotum slingshot.

No I can't

it’s called “sinatra sings the beatles” and several civilizations collapsed as a result

my nose is like a bottomless pitcher except it’s not filled with mimosas, it’s snot

John Roberts is an insult to humanity.

I feel like I’m in hell. Is this hell? I’m pretty sure this is hell. Hey, is that succubus? Imma go poke the succubus.

I just heard about the word 'wombfulness' so I'd like to introduce scrotumfulness

I don’t know about the presidents but oh man I could fuck up Spiro Agnew

I got my cat one of those nifty water fountains. She likes it way more than toilet water and she bites me less. Recommend.

Sigh.

The MAGA regime have quietly moved to evict hundreds of wild bison from federal grasslands. The endless cruelty and inhumanity from these fascist scumbags is absolutely fucking disgusting.

Trump can't tell the truth or stay awake. Clearly, he's a bulldozer.

*emerging from the dumpster behind Arby’s Who wants a handjob?

Do y'all ever think if we'd let that one dude identify as an attack helicopter, and supported their transition to attack helicopter, right down to the point where they had to begin drinking jet fuel. We could have diverted a lot of the transphobia?

GM 🖤

reminder

I don't know if I am supposed to report: Nothing. If people would like to help by signing up to Revolut Online Bank and Fintech. It's awesome, best way to sell your art online, and I get 60€ per sign-up who follows simple sign rules There's that too.

All day we complain about billionaires and then you're all "look at the pretty dresses at the Met Gala" like you suddenly forgot those people want you to die miserable and poor.

There needs to be a "Secret Third Hole Party"

if nobody was without housing i might be less mad about someone wearing an outfit that costs more than a house

Weird to watch someone who will sue you if you release his college grades or SAT scores bragging about “acing” tests for dementia.

Ted Cruz and Satan have never been spotted in the same room together or at the same time…

Hey remember when we got the news via carrier pigeon? Can we start doing that again so I don’t have to think about Pete Hegseth every goddamned day?

Had a visitor that brightened my day today.

Weird animal facts! Chickens don't know shit! They're fucking stupid!

If every middle class worker who controls money for a large corporation properly planned and executed a synchronized withdrawal we could engineer the greatest transfer of wealth in human history ok I’m going into hiding now

If I ever bequeath anything to anyone, I’m definitely farting on it first

How do we hold SCOTUS in contempt of Constitution?

I’ve done things for mozzarella sticks I wouldn’t do for love