Iron Maiden and Wu-Tang Clan are going into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in the same year. It might be too much awesome at once. They might break the Hall of Fame.

@danibananica.bsky.social has 814 real followers (followers that have not been blocked/suspended/deleted)

@realfollowers.bsky.social Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the realest of them all?

BREAKING: Wealthy White People have announced that the world would be better for everyone (us) if everyone (you) was nicer and more subservient to Wealthy White People.

It still boggles the mind that rock climbing has become entrenched as a leisure activity. Gyms, schools, parks often include climbing walls. So weird. We might as well have indoor plowing.

A major U.S. Postal Service union is launching a national TV ad campaign promoting voting by mail, stepping into a politically charged debate as skepticism about mail-in ballots has been raised by President Donald Trump and others.

I'm at the deli. I'm at the central intelligence agency. I'm at the combination deli & cental intelligence agency.

me: *applying flea treatment* good boy cat: meow {you’ve made a powerful enemy today} me: nearly done now cat: MEOW! {oh I’m definitely gonna shit in your shoe for this me: and there, all finished cat: MEOWWWWWW {and I think a bird’s head in your bed, too} me: aw, I love you too Mr Tiddles

“Alright Dave, listen to me and listen carefully. I hid everything before I got busted. Get me outta here, and I’ll split it with you 50/50. There’s candy wrappers, toilet paper tubes, some rancid bologna, and half a Hot Pocket. Now, open up the cage before the guard comes back.”

Please listen carefully as our menu has changed. Press 1 for more options. Press 2 to leave a voicemail. Press 3 to for a live representative. Press 4 for a dead representative. Press “conference” to attend a press conference.

America is being left behind by the rest of world because America doesn’t see Americans. America only sees hyphenated Americans which makes them less than American. This anchor on America severely curtails progress commensurate to the capabilities of all Americans inclusive.

I would add “cow!” to this

Serial killer test: driving past a horse and a person doesn’t yell “horse” and point.

"You do have enough money, actually" will never go over with any American, sorry that's just not how we do it

Interviewer: are you tough on crime? Me: i thought this was an administrative position Interviewer: *jotting down* weak on crime

The whopping bee aggregation is one of the largest and oldest ever recorded, according to a new study

An armed Paddington Bear stages a shootout in post-apocalyptic ‘80s New York, but afterwards he offers the survivors marmalade.

this new series is actually disappointing…

So many of the people I grew up with as a Gen X'er turned out to be dabbling in counterculture exclusively for the edgelord credentials it offered. Now, they get the same effect by taking the decorum out of boomer rhetoric. So much of the white, Gen X experience was just an attention-grabbing stunt.

Please use alt text so I can mute the Trump Doctor Jesus image from showing up in my feed every 3 posts.

🖤

slow motion video was invented specifically for dogs playing

I misread the headline as one movie and got very excited for a moment…

The Pope isn’t soft on crime, he just doesn’t do his paperwork, and his captain’s always shouting at him for it. His partner used to do it before he was murdered. Now, every day, the Pope searches obsessively for the murderer, and some day soon, he’ll find him . . . and forgive him.

My blue canary nightlight came! And look at the packaging around it - it’s like a two for one! Every time I go in my kitchen now, I’ll sing “make a little birdhouse in your soul”

This whole thing was a setup for TV and that any news organization takes this even remotely at face value is going to turn me into the Joker.

You know I knew that Door Dash woman looked familiar

I feel way too akin to this shark for my liking. Anyone else I know feel this way? 👀

When I was outside working in the yard yesterday, part of me reverted to 6 years of age when I found this rock. It stood out and it was so smooth I had to keep it. So I brought it in and washed it. Now Rocky has a roommate! Help me name her

It's eye-crossing that a rapist can be forced to resign from Congress while this whole other rapist somehow remains in the Oval Office raving like a maniac

a client I’ve never met telling my boss she loves working with me got me rapping rob base in my head "women love me girls adore me i mean even the ones that never saw me like"

Tony Gonzales is out too!

TONY GONZALES SAYS HE WILL FILE HIS “RETIREMENT” FROM CONGRESS TOMORROW

Coachella is about a soccer coach that just wants to escape her cruel stepmother and stepsisters and go to the ball

Katamari Damacy-style game where you stagger around a large grocery store collecting more and more items you have to awkwardly position about your body because like a fool you thought you didn’t need a cart.

I hope someone tries to do an exorcism on Trump and I hope it's televised. I think l we all deserve a little treat

there should be more sock color sports teams

Democratic House Rep. Eric Swalwell has announced that he is resigning from Congress. Good riddance. 👋

"Budgets are tight. First on the agenda, we are increasing classroom size to 80 students, firing half the teachers, and canceling all extracurricular activities. Second, all police will now get a personal jet pack, diamond-encrusted Kevlar vests, and access to 24/7 spa treatments."

Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto https://theonion.com/man-who-threw-molotov-cocktail-at-sam-altmans-home-claims-he-was-following-chatgpt-recipe-for-risotto/

When I was a child, teachers sat the best girl students next to disruptive boy students. The girls were responsible for keeping the boys calm so that the teacher could continue teaching. This sort of emotional regulation by proxy, using girls and women to calm boys and men, still happens.

AOC was in Pennsylvania last month. Folks...

It's out! www.raygunsite.com/collections/...

I want to be the president's personal stylist. Those suits and extra long red ties are nice buts let's see if we can get him into a volcano.

At this point, I blame Congress for what’s going on. The POTUS is fucking insane, and Congress is in dereliction of its duties.

for the love of god, were they giants or not???