If they really wanted my business they would've called it Planet Fitness wheel of cheese in my mouth.

I want a Viking funeral but while I’m still alive

*high and giggling* you said wiener

peasant

i think the players should makeout with one another on the field after the games to prove there’s no hard feelings

Sometimes I don't even finish reading your skeet. I just repost it so I can get on with the rest my life

I have to beat eggs and sugar for 8-10 minutes. That will fix me.

Just picked a tub of straight up regular hi how ya doin chocolate chip ice cream and all the other ice cream buying people looked at me like i was a fuckin psycho

Very murder cow’y

Looking on ebay for Wiggles merch and a Shaheed Drone

Sorry i was juicing fish sticks So what’s new in soccer

I put the “tact” in “I’m a shut in who avoids human contact”

hee haw hee haw 🤠

DMs are back, I can stop listening to Sufjan Stevens now and think about an outfit for later.

Apparently, there's some sort of sports happening. I dunno 🤷

I broke down that Dana White Ram ad, because fuck Dana White. defector.com/dana-white-s...

The people yearn for the 𝐹𝑖𝑡𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝐺𝑟𝑎𝑚 𝑃𝑎𝑐𝑒𝑟 𝑇𝑒𝑠𝑡

bro I fucken hate green bell peppers bro why are they on my fucken pizza bro fuck

I see feeds aren't loading again, fucking shit app

me: here's the thing, if i'm carrying my coffee mug, i'm not ready for chit chat but if i'm not carrying my coffee mug it's safe to assume that i'm also not ready for chit chat colleague:

why do you people keep following me this is not an interesting account it’s just oversharing about sex and mental illness and the extremely rare clever shitpost

I’ll stop dusting off the joke about our city hosting Slow Walkers of America when you stop walking slow

Posting is a lot like playing jazz in that I'm also not good at playing jazz

They have 27 varieties of KitKat at my local brick and mortar pharmacy, I’ll stock up.

Guy who does this when he cums

I’m incredibly unpopular and I think that’s a big part of my charm.

Still life with disco chicken and SHOELACES! #CatsOfBluesky

📚✨

the inevitable transition from gifted child to social media addict to supernova to black hole

RIPPED VAN WINKLE

Fine, I'll be the Senator from Maine. I have to do every goddamn thing around here.

Ok ready for this here halloween tonight

And one more thing

Did we really need pink pineapples for $10?

Steal my content you cowards

whenever i get hopeful that we as a society can rise above and do better i remember we can’t even get people to stop eating at the homophobic chicken place

This isn’t a bunch of shitposters, this is a team of professionals with a passion for quality

Alexi Lalas: (minutes and minutes of stupid shit) Zlatan, immediately after: Belgium is better

Sabres PP USA midfield 🤝 Holy shit that’s brutal

That Tony Robbins ass bitch in the booth needs to tone it down a notch #USAvBEL

Flashbacks of Sabres home playoff performances

Watching Pulisic

I want the Sabres to be on Telemundo.

I hope I get to drive a UFO one day.

I went camping and lived to tell about it, my latest post: creativityandcontentment.com/2026/07/01/i...

These guys look hyped www.npr.org/2026/07/04/g...

what do you mean you don’t put crushed up potato chips on your hot dog blocked

oozing charm and whimsy in a corner chair at the airport

is it illegal to eat Doritos in a castle or just highly frowned upon