too hard push button for think

Me, a 51-year-old man: Damn, Mark Hamill is looking haggard af Me, glancing at the mirror: JESUS HOLY FUCK

Because debate = “we’re not taking sides” = marketable democracy

Donations… required?

tfw you’re going through your music library for the first time in years and find Raffi sandwiched between Radiohead and Rancid, and feel overcome by the sudden awareness of the passage of time

CDC website altered at Robert F. Kennedy's behest to reflect his belief that "all events depicted in the film Ghostbusters really happened."

when trying on pants, do this in the store. then tell the sales associate "the menswear guy told me to do this." IG mr.funkys0ul

No matter how long I live after we get through this dark chapter, I will never get over the immorality, the amorality, the corruption, the criminality and the cruelty in service to one of the worst humans to ever walk the earth.

I’ll see your turlet and raise you a Turley

Trump wrongly indicted me. I’ll rightly impeach him. Impeachment isn’t just an option, it’s a necessity. I know firsthand the lengths Trump is willing to go in order to silence dissent — but is it working?

What’s gonna set you free? Look inside and you’ll see.

May I introduce you to Unionion?

Impeachment isn’t an option, it’s a necessity. I know firsthand the lengths Trump is willing to go in order to silence dissent. Impeach, convict, remove. And if our current leaders won’t do it, they need to step aside for people who will: www.youtube.com/watch?v=jo54...

Dollar Tree knockoff brands: for when you care enough to give the very least.

nICE

game design 101

It’s fun to think about the surgeon who will botch your surgery 20 years from now and what he’s doing at this moment. He just ran all his homework through ChatGPT. He just read that article about vaccines and autism at the CDC website. He just watched an Instagram video about the moon landing hoax.

God I would just love for every journalist with credentials to ask all the people who voted for this to define socialism.

This is like the cover of Pet Sematary rotated 90 degrees counterclockwise

I scream, I yell, I bark, I bite, I’ll hit you with an egg On a hot summer night I never let the cops get wind of me And I never ever ever say die I never take myself too seriously Cause everybody know Fat birds don’t fly

The creature in the sky Got sucked in a hole, now there's a hole in the sky And the ground's not cold And if the ground's not cold, everything is gonna burn We'll all take turns, I'll get mine too

There is no explicit constitutional prohibition against felching so it is difficult for me to understand why Ryan Lisa is so upset with Olivia Nuzzi and RFK Jr. by Jonathan Turley

MTG is resigning from Congress because she has agreed to be my business partner in a cart selling the world's first alcoholic hot dogs

Mr. Ian MacKaye of Fugazi (Whose aesthetic is hardly shoegaze) Nonetheless, while he shouts, Has been known to rock out With guitars both discordant and gauzy

Therrrrrrre we go

The counterpart to this, if you’re a man who understands it at all, is to present with as little risk as possible. Give her space and do not engage unless she initiates contact. If she smiles or says hi first, then sure, reciprocate. If not, BE ON YOUR WAY.

There are some things that no one should ever have to witness.

Looking through old photos, came across this moment from 2015 where I was happily sipping beer and reading B. Kliban comics. "Look, honey! It's God!"

Flossie Dickey gives no fucks, doo dah, doo dah

Like I get that you’re all “pro-ME” but maybe you should focus more on “the-US”

"Here's a lil sumthin' I wrote for all you lovely ladies out there" *flexes fingers* 🎶PLINK! PLANK! PLUNK! PLINK! PLINK!🎶 "HISSSSSS!" *faints and plays dead*

hey so even if you do sweep Dems into power again all those people who are openly calling for your murder will still exist so what is your plan because last time Dems were in office they didn’t do anything about it and now we’re here and my god we can’t keep doing this why do you refuse the lesson

while I’m being cranky, access journalism needs to go. When the president does his “I’m alpha because I insulted you” thing somebody needs to fall on his sword and say “what the fuck is wrong with you, old man?” on a hot mic. the hero of the wizard of Oz is Toto.

Clouds are pretty great sometimes.

Like it’s creepy that this question, or “gotcha” talking point, remains extant. What is the implication of thinking that anyone should care who is implicated? You are either Team Pedo or you’re not. Nothing else matters here.

What's your favorite color? 1. shipwreck on a windswept shore 2. mossy wolf skull 3. explosion at the paint factory 4. gently used sword

I cannot adequately stress how much I am not going to listen to this.

i think if you want to have those disgusting LED headlights on your car, you should have to do a test where they blast you point blank with your own headlights and then you have 15 seconds to successfully complete some sort of vision-based task, and if you can't do it they push your car off a cliff

I am definitely NOT saying that Stephen Miller should be fed into a woodchipper feet first. I am NOT saying that. Don’t put in the newspaper that I am saying that

there’s nothing on the radio anymore but accordion music, because of welk

‘The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.’ George Orwell, Animal Farm

The only way to for the public to see complete Epstein files is to leak it. Do it. Now. Anything else is complicit.

Fish have committed credit card fraud

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Confession: I have an indefensible animus against anyone who pronounces the word “celery” as “celry”.

Girl, are you the Star Wars universe? Because I cannot be bothered any more