Eric Replatformed
@21stcenturyeric.bsky.social
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📥 4264
📝 4740
Reluctant Michigander.
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:56qlzx4tulfm2muuj2kpuit6/feed/aaab5q3jprwzi
pinned post!
I am color blind, so Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Hudson, and Jennifer Aniston all look like Jennifer Grey to me.
3 months ago
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A-Moo’s Bouche
about 1 hour ago
the impact of subtitles: 1) actors can mumble their lines with impunity 2) my ears get dumber 3) I compensate by wearing eyeglasses that make me look smart
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The wind is picking up... your mother... for blowing lessons...
about 1 hour ago
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Charlie Alzamora
about 2 hours ago
It was on this day in 2001 that my wife and I did background checks on each other so we're celebrating our 25th vetting anniversary.
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Granite Man
about 10 hours ago
Posting makes me feel like I'm talking to the wall, and sometimes the wall answers back.
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Charlie Alzamora
about 18 hours ago
A budget airline is now providing passengers in-flight therapists. However, there's a fee for carry-on emotional baggage.
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Tiki Moon🌙
about 14 hours ago
Just remembered I bought discounted cupcakes at the store today, so my evening is looking up.
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Granite Man
about 3 hours ago
Therapist: Wow! You're so competitive, I've never seen anything like this!! Me: So what you're saying is I'm the best......
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John Lyon
3 months ago
Interviewer: Your resume lists one of your skills as “planning evil events.” That’s a typo, right? Don’t you mean “live events”? Me: [slowly rubbing my hands together] If you prefer.
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Marc
5 days ago
I'm not bored I'm just busy doing nothing . . . so busy in fact that it has made me tired and I'm going to take a nap now.
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Marc
about 4 hours ago
On average, I spend about $150 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
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The Bearminator
17 days ago
my burp is worse than my bite
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Fomo Simpson
about 23 hours ago
I feel like I really made the grade (slightly above average) and now the papers want to know whose shirts I wear (Costco). - Me as Major Tom
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Richard L Pastore 📚🏳️🌈
about 24 hours ago
Whoever came up with the term "trumped-up charges" was remarkably prescient.
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The Card
1 day ago
"You need to let your hair down!" I did. The problem is, it never came back.
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BlobStar
1 day ago
Always keep a ripe avocado in one pocket and a lime in the other because you'll never know when you'll be feeling salty enough to whip up some pocket guacamole to go with the chip on your shoulder
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BlobStar
1 day ago
Reluctantly crouched at the starting line* *remote starting the minivan
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Marc
1 day ago
Sometimes people are ignorant for their own convenience.
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After Cop Rock, he was known as Steven Botchco
1 day ago
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Granite Man
1 day ago
My New Year's resolution is to give up gambling. I bet I can do it.
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Jackass cw using AI to summarize a meeting and asking everyone else to verify the accuracy, how about don't use crappy tools and verify your own damn self
1 day ago
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Fomo Simpson
1 day ago
David Bowie dating profile Bio Planet Earth is blue And there's nothing I can do Username Ziggy Stardust Location Suffragette City/Goblin City I am a Starman Seeking Rebel, rebel Job Researching if there is life on Mars First Date Idea Let's Dance
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John
1 day ago
It must be an extremely cruel twist of fate and irony when you’re an asexual named Randy.
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One Dog’s Opinion 🐾
2 days ago
ME: picture yourself in a boat on a river With tangerine trees and marmalade skies INTERVIEWER: when I asked where you see yourself in 5 years, I meant career-wise ME: somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly A girl with kaleidoscope eyes INTERVIEWER: thanks for coming in, we’ll be in touch
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The 21st century is a lot like the 19th, if you want to get anywhere, don your spurs and ride hard. Just now, its customer service reps, insurance agents, coworkers, etc.. instead of horses.
2 days ago
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Jack
2 days ago
I like big butts and I cannot lie 🎶
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My job of shaving sheep is shear tedium.
2 days ago
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Mike Johnson IS a legislative tool
2 days ago
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Marc
2 days ago
What did I learn on the first day of my New Year fitness program... I'm not very flexible, but I'm pretty good at farting doing sit-ups.
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Charlie Alzamora
3 days ago
I'm not sure how a sickly guy becomes an oil baron if he's not a well man.
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Me: Is this pile carpet in my new place? My dog: It is now.
2 days ago
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They also make one for puppies called "son of a hitch"
2 days ago
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Pot Shop Boy
3 days ago
I always use the yellow-skinned emojis, because I identify as a Simpsons character.
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Jefferson Airplane crashed in the ocean, spilling band members everywhere, it left quite a Grace Slick on the water.
3 days ago
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Eddy: How hard is it gonna be to find yet another singer? Alex: Extreme-ly hard Eddy and Alex together: Perfect!! Lets call Gary! -Van Halen circa 1996
3 days ago
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The Curse of Shin MikeZilla Minus One PLUS (#15584)
3 days ago
This day in history. 1852. French educator Louis Braille died in Paris. I know he invented something but I can't quite put my finger on it.
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I tried to make barley soup but didn't use enough water-- ended up with barely soup.
3 days ago
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CaroleU
3 days ago
Don’t bother to read this, I need to look like I’m texting someone for a minute. Thanks for your forbearance.
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To the CW who thought that adding a comment to a Jira ticket at 3:45 pm was going to cause me to take immediate action by the end of the day: lol
3 days ago
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3 days ago
“save draft,” Putin says to himself, moving his tweet about military conscription to a folder labeled “fuuuuuuuck”
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Cath
4 days ago
If the best you can manage today is to show up wearing normal pants, give yourself a little grace.
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Greg the Miller
4 days ago
apologies, i misheard “annul,” your honor
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Charlie Alzamora
4 days ago
They had to do multiple takes of the cocaine scenes in "Scarface" because Pacino kept blowing his lines.
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Wilbur72
5 days ago
Me: “Can you come over and fix my kitchen sink?” Plumber: “I’m at your disposal”
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Marc
3 days ago
It’s very rude to interrupt me when I’m procrastinating.
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18 hours into the first season of 24, and I am not sure which is higher, the body count or the hack cliche trope count. (No spoilers please)
3 days ago
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Isaac Newton discovered gravity when an apple fell on his head, and then he squeezed it and invented Juice Newton.
3 days ago
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Auntie Social
3 days ago
If Cruella Deville was a doctor, do you think she'd have made a lab coat?
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Fomo Simpson
about 2 months ago
Claude's heart was never in the art game because he was all about that Monet.
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Miss Havishambles
4 days ago
You can only enjoy a wolf moon if you are a night howl.
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