w hat the fuk
@nelp.bsky.social
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lover, hater, masturbator they/them, she/her
pinned post!
oh no! my puppygirl ate chocolate! what do i do???
about 1 year ago
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mia 🦴
3 months ago
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Viktor Winetrout
3 days ago
Can't sleep. Still mad at my parents for lying to me about Santa Claus
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Stella Sacco
5 days ago
Have you identified a pervasive societal problem or was one person weird to you
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Helen Rosner
6 days ago
My best piece of advice, and this is something I learned the hard way, is: if you live in an elevator building, get a keychain that is larger in every dimension than the gap between the elevator car and the elevator door
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love my apparently bug-based tl
7 days ago
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lauren
7 days ago
if i was going to give a college commencement speech i would make sure to start with something the students could rally behind. something like "we will mechanically suck the youth from your bones to feed a mechanical eschaton, which my generation will use to climb heaven and become new gods"
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Gef the Toking Mongoose
7 days ago
when a woman has an opinion, Online
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Zack Davisson
9 days ago
For you to understand how much the world has changed, in the 1970s as a second grader we were REQUIRED to watch the TV show adaptation of ROOTS. REQUIRED.
www.knoxnews.com/story/news/e...
loading . . .
Knox County Schools bans historical novel 'Roots' by Alex Haley
A sculpture of Haley stands in Morningside Park. He donated his personal papers, including drafts of "Roots," to the University of Tennessee.
https://www.knoxnews.com/story/news/education/2026/05/15/knox-county-schools-bans-historical-novel-roots-by-alex-haley/90080042007/
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Creighton ⚒️
9 days ago
One thing you can do to make a small difference that adds up over time is, if you're in the position, to hire trans people and refuse to hire bigots. I've done both and it's super fucking easy. You just tell the chuds you're not interested in hiring any shitheads.
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☀️
9 days ago
did you hear about the horrifying thing that youre powerless to do anything about
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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉
13 days ago
What doesn’t kill you fucks up your nervous system so it feels like you can’t have a normal life
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brent
14 days ago
[after convincing father in law to take me hunting again because I ruined the first trip by naming all the deer stephen] "RUN STEPHEN"
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Skip, the Online Raccoon
7 months ago
i think about this tweet a lot
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I never feel more like a monkey than when a catchphrase works on me
15 days ago
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looks like its true what they say april showers bring may growers
17 days ago
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Amy-Leigh Shaw
21 days ago
Actually you know what, let me just
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ceej
20 days ago
no, I don't have a favorite "star war." personally, I'm more interested in "star peace"
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FROVO
20 days ago
can the fourth be with you
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Sentient Bunnysuit
20 days ago
I'm going on Master Chef, looking Gordon Ramsay dead in the eye while I pop this in the microwave, then staring at him unblinking for two minutes until it's ready.
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Jeff
about 2 years ago
No one hates my Star Wars fandom more than my son Porkins.
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Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️⚧️
23 days ago
No, it isn't blood on my face. It's ketchup. I just rolled out of bed.
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The Serfs (youtube.com/theserfstv)
21 days ago
Also really funny that Richard Dawkins refuses to acknowledge that trans women are women but thinks "Claudia" is an entirely new form of life because it called him smart
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Ashton Pittman
22 days ago
15 years ago today, Kate and William killed Osama Bin Laden at their wedding.
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aaron
23 days ago
you can’t criticize babies because you’ll never be able to walk a mile in shoes that tiny
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Tyler, from the Internet
almost 2 years ago
Haha get their ass, PBS
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Jerry Chen
26 days ago
this would fix the website
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I'd poison the hell out of that shark from jaws no problem
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25 days ago
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so I guess now "diabolical" just means whatever we decide it means in that particular sentence
28 days ago
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Tyler, from the Internet
29 days ago
this is one of the most painful silences I've ever seen bahahaha
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Lupita Nihongo
29 days ago
This is where I died & had to be resuscitated
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John Lyon
about 1 month ago
I would do well as a Jeopardy! contestant if before responding to a clue I could spend a couple of minutes saying, “It’ll come to me.”
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It's Abby. Yep
over 1 year ago
For sale: baby shoes. So fuckin worn. This baby ran everywhere fast as shit
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Standplaats Kraków could really use some cash!
3 months ago
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Standplaats Kraków could really use some cash!
3 months ago
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Standplaats Kraków could really use some cash!
3 months ago
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everyone's against the inhuman prison system until someone they dislike does something illegal
about 1 month ago
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Tim Onion
about 1 month ago
People ask me all the time for my favorite Onion headline, and there are like 200 of them, but my favorite recent print headline is easily this:
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Imani Gandy
about 1 month ago
IT'S REALLY FUCKED UP YOU GUYS
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Jason
over 1 year ago
For sale: baby jetpack. Worn once
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The Man In Yellow Wires
about 1 month ago
What are we going to do about this. Real question. How do we stop it, like, yesterday.
loading . . .
Surprise inspection finds ICE stuffing migrants 'like sardines' into a facility with no bed, showers
Three lawmakers visited a Mesa ICE facility unannounced and found overcrowding, with 250 detainees packed into rooms "like sardines"
https://azmirror.com/2026/04/10/ice-overcrowding-like-sardines-congressional-oversight-arizona/
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Jessie🌙
about 2 months ago
you do not have to hand it to Tucker fucking Carlson. Knock it off
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Alex Steffen
about 2 months ago
I hadn't seen this before. This is pretty remarkable. Earth and Moon in one NASA photo. ht
@astrokatie.com
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Culture Crave 🍿
about 2 months ago
Live look at Orion, the Moon, and Earth lined up 🌕🌎 “Everyone is in this picture”
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cactus friend
about 2 months ago
This website is FREE
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to the joker, today is just april day
about 2 months ago
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Ed Morrish
about 2 months ago
interviewer: and what would you say are your greatest weaknesses me: well i’m really good at understanding questions
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Jack
about 2 months ago
Maybe God is mad at us because we had the hubris to claim we could build bears.
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Sen. Lemon Gogurt
about 2 months ago
if a leftist says he's anti-zionist because of the war crimes of a sovereign nation the times will suggest he is an anti-semite. if a conservative says that he is "j-pilled" the times will say it's about foreign policy.
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