w hat the fuk
@nelp.bsky.social
📤 219
📥 342
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lover, hater, masturbator they/them, she/her
pinned post!
oh no! my puppygirl ate chocolate! what do i do???
8 months ago
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w hat the fuk
Gef the Toking Mongoose
1 day ago
Don't call it the restroom if you don't want me taking naps in there
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w hat the fuk
alice naNollaig 🤶
10 days ago
It says a lot about how little Black people are valued in society that Liam Neeson saying he wanted to kill a Black man wasn’t the end of his career, but now he’s finally being cancelled after being on an anti vaxx doc.
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NutshellGulag
10 days ago
Everyone seems to have forgotten how Liam Neeson said out loud that he wanted to beat up random black men after a friend of his was raped. Like not the guy who did it, just any black man would do. I stopped watching his stuff after that. I don't care how funny the new Naked Gun is.
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Alex Blechman
17 days ago
Cloudflare is just one guy holding two cables together. The entire internet runs through them. He is being electrocuted 24/7 but holds on because he knows people need the world wide web. When he passes out from pain & exhaustion we get 404 errors
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it's amazing to think that relations with Japan began hundreds of years ago with importing the manga carta
22 days ago
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Cabel Sasser
22 days ago
"oh, don't forget to highlight, in bright red, the two-letter word in the tagline! the two letter word that's kind of the whole point of this clever ad campaign! the two letter word that links this show to the horror movie of the same name!" "no problem boss. i'm on it"
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Wilbur72
23 days ago
Job application: “Who to call in case of emergency?” Me: 9-1-1
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w hat the fuk
Sweatpants Cher
25 days ago
Thanksgiving Day is about celebrating that she made it out of the pants
add a skeleton here at some point
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me, holding a séance to speak with my grandmother: "Can you hear me?" my grandma, texting me from Florida: "Sorry I forgot your birthday again"
27 days ago
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Splenetic Badger 🇺🇦
28 days ago
Wouldn’t it be problematic to have a bag with a handle that just falls off?
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w hat the fuk
Béla | comms OPEN
about 1 month ago
I feel this verberating my bones down to my very soul
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presentdad🙋🏻♂️
about 1 month ago
[makes a joke in Teams at work] *hr starts typing* haha cool hr is gonna get in on the jokes *hr continues typing* ohhh this is gonna be a good one! *hr continues typing* uh oh
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hate that im not even a little bit surprised by this
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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🎁🎄Have yourself a Deeny lil they/them🎄🎁
about 1 month ago
"No worries if not", I flirt
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Viktor Winetrout
about 1 month ago
I like porn that challenges me to be a better person
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yaoi gagarin
about 1 month ago
welcome, denizens of this Web Zone, to yet another day of whimsy. today's agenda: - roll around in bed like a cat - rewatch one or 2 episodes of an old TV show - have some coffee - roll around in bed some more
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Alexandria ⛯
about 1 month ago
"one day, when it's safe, when there's no personal downside to calling a thing what it is, when it's too late to hold anyone accountable, everyone will have always been against this"
add a skeleton here at some point
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Tarja Porkka-Kontturi
about 1 month ago
she’s a 10 but Excel thinks she’s October
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southpaw
about 1 month ago
So old I remember when it was considered a political liability to hand out a presidential pardon to your son in law’s drug dealer buddy who went on to commit crimes of violence and sexual offenses.
nypost.com/2025/11/11/u...
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LI drug dealer freed by Trump now convicted of molesting his kids’ nanny and threatening synagogue congregant
Braun was first busted in 2010 for orchestrating a major cannabis distribution ring, smuggling millions of dollars worth of weed from Canada to New York.
https://nypost.com/2025/11/11/us-news/jonathan-braun-drug-dealer-freed-by-trump-convicted-again/
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which johnny cash song mentions going into a woodchipper feet first?
about 1 month ago
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Jason, ex Inferis
about 1 month ago
I met a weird girl and within 20 minutes she had me eating nerd clusters straight from her hand like a horse
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The Onion
about 1 month ago
Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage
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I don't think jesus accounted for this many sins when he died for them tbh
about 1 month ago
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Arianeh Sajadi, Esq.
about 1 month ago
Before the disgusting GOP cut SNAP and are now fighting court orders ordering them to quit their psychosis & feed Americans, they cut USAID which has already *starved 100’s of 1000’s of human beings worldwide to death.* Barbaric isn’t enough to describe such depravity. *Well* past “politics.” 🆘🇺🇸
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bakoon
about 2 months ago
loading . . .
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w hat the fuk
Mr. Chau
about 2 months ago
Well at least that's all it was
add a skeleton here at some point
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w hat the fuk
nightylamp (twice as festive as you)
2 months ago
"doxxing" was named after the first person doxed, Robert Dox, 4520 Jacobs Ave, Belview, MN
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Uncut Femmes
2 months ago
women with swords are out. women with lances are in. women with axes are out. women with hammers are in. women with bows are out. women with slings are in. women with plate armor/chain mail are out. women with hoplite armor are in. i dont make the rules i just very gleefully enforce them & make them
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who decided to call it gender affirmation surgery instead of tuck everlasting
2 months ago
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
8 months ago
You’re never too old to pretend to learn.
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L
2 months ago
add a skeleton here at some point
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Travis comma bitch
2 months ago
I'll just floss tomorrow
add a skeleton here at some point
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paris martineau
2 months ago
my latest investigation for
@consumerreports.org
is based on months of reporting and 60+ lab tests of leading protein supplements we found that most protein powders and shakes have more lead in one serving than our experts say is safe to have in a day (🧵)
www.consumerreports.org/lead/protein...
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Protein Powders and Shakes Contain High Levels of Lead - Consumer Reports
CR tests of 23 popular protein powders and shakes found that most contain high levels of lead.
https://www.consumerreports.org/lead/protein-powders-and-shakes-contain-high-levels-of-lead-a4206364640/
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Devi Clause🎄
2 months ago
I would be unstoppable if I stopped stopping
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Brick's House 🍁
2 months ago
"For my wellness journey" I murmur as I pour a 2lb bag of M&Ms over my face
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wargen
4 months ago
hate when my obsession with catching a serial killer starts negatively impacting my personal relationships
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Fungocrat
2 months ago
I respect my dog. But I don't respect her beliefs.
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Clara Jeffery
2 months ago
We will need Nuremberg-like trials
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acaballroom bee
2 months ago
it takes a lot to make a stew
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harpy
over 1 year ago
more mayors should be cheeseburgers
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lanyardigan
almost 2 years ago
On the bright side, we are living in a time of incredible stain-fighting technology
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Gef the Toking Mongoose
3 months ago
Orc Frasier be like "I listening"
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Lori
3 months ago
Judge: you’re here because you booped the cop on the nose Me: your honor, may I approach the bench? Judge covering his nose: absolutely not
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w hat the fuk
Gef the Toking Mongoose
10 months ago
interviewer: can you explain this gap on your resume? me: nope
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w hat the fuk
Micah
3 months ago
there aren’t a lot of purely good things on the internet but “you have to share Tom Holland doing Umbrella” is one of them
add a skeleton here at some point
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Frankie Huang 黄碧赤
3 months ago
I don’t say this lightly but Mr. Beast might be Satan
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hibachi magic wand restaurant
3 months ago
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w hat the fuk
Viktor Winetrout
3 months ago
Ultimately, we're all looking for the same thing: a horse who solves crimes
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Katie Tightpussy, Editor-In-Chief
3 months ago
just found a bullet casing with the entire bee movie script on it
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