I’m not sure why the Kremlin insisted I talk about Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot but I do what I’m paid to do

Rocky sequel where he learns how to shoot fireballs from his hands so he can participate in the Street Fighter Tournament

I think today’s movie is gonna be Mortal Kombat (1995)

Remember: we were never given credit for being right about crypto, we were never given credit for being right about NFTs, we were never given credit for being right about the metaverse and we will never be given credit for being right about AI. Fuck 'em up anyway.

Barney Frank’s nipples are protruding in Hell now

unhinging my cranium and scrubbing my brain with a scrub daddy to get rid of the bad thoughts

no, mr. bond, I expect you to like me

Film. Cinema. Kino. Motion Pictures. All these different words, but they all signify one unifying thing.... Art.

also said by a nonzero number of my mutuals

some song lyrics from WILD DRAGON from my new band The Small Potatoes. (Bridge and Chorus) Album in progress.

yeah let me go ahead and pay my taxes so the government can hand that money to January 6th pedophiles

what if Worf smoked weed. what if Data smoked weed. what if Gul Dukat smoked weed. what if Captain Archer’s dog smoked weed. what if Seven Of Nine smoked weed. what if Kes smoked weed. what if the Holographic Emergency Doctor smoked weed. what if the whales from Star Trek 4 smoked weed. what if Syb

Harry Mudd shooting heroin. am I doing this right

played a video game #videogamecrew #smokefleet

got that Gene Roddenberry dick, call that The Great Bird Of The Galaxy

Im crying

gonna buy the shirt?

Guy with visible stink lines: the birth rate,

I do not believe that we need protein in all of the foods that they have added protein to

we are not fucking around today

been playing Quantum Break and of course as usual Remedy is amazing. only problem I have with the game is they’re putting mediocre actors next to Lance Reddick (RIP)

actually I'm thinking it's The Groups (who we don't need) that are the problem and maybe even a smaller group than those, goddamn leftists 🫵

I’ve never watched a Chuck Norris movie before so I’m gonna watch Invasion USA (1985)

Frank Zappa voice: I’d better not find out you’re smoking weed while playing my fart joke music

today I am going to watch Lethal Weapon 2, which is famous for being the sequel to Lethal Weapon 1

went to make tacos and the meat was completely brown under the surface after I opened the package so I ordered Taco Bell 👍

I wish I hated America as much as the President does

ok I’m gonna watch this movie called Equalizer 2000 (1987), which, in addition to being the first entry in the Equalizer film series is about building an extremely cool gun in the post-apocalypse

big shoutout to the new Punisher accessory in Marvel Rivals that adds a chibi version of his murdered family to the corner of the screen that cheers you on every time you get a kill

I’ve put it off long enough: it is time to watch Demonic Toys (1992)

Spotted on Tumblr…

The single thing I like most about Vin Diesel is how convinced he is of the artistic merits of the greater Riddick universe

The man has two modes: 1) I am doing this purely for money and have zero interest in making it good 2) this is the most important creation of humanity since the Renaissance *looking at a picture he drew of a character he made for Dungeons & Dragons*

we are losing influence on neopets because you keep posting on the neopets roleplaying forum instead of the neopets battledome forum. you are wasting time pretending to be a shoyru named jeff

waking up every morning like

new Punisher special is not particularly deep or anything it it is like a solid half hour of the Punisher fighting off waves of goons and doing cool murders bookended by some incredibly goofy melodrama

it is my birthday. what did you get me

Ah. I see the problem now.

dusting off a classic

this scene on Malcolm In The Middle: Reese: But I’m about to beat the last level of Mortal Kombat! Hal: That’s ridiculous. No one beats Sub Zero me: 🫩 dude what

watching MalcolmIn The Middle and Breaking Bad at the same time is really making me appreciate how good an actor Bryan Cranston is

ok Linwood Boomer, executive producer of Malcolm In The Middle

ok I’m finally gonna watch fuckin Freejack (1992)

sorry you had to find out this way

just installed a Fisher-Price mooing door unit on my front entrance

sorry you had to find out this way