in this Nightmare On Elm Street episode there’s a question about who the killer is and I’m just saying there’s a character named Coach Gacey

that marion "cobra" cobretti just doesn't like to play by the rules

just remembered I have to finish Robocop (2014)

I was going to write a two-sentence horror story. BUT THEN I WAS EATEN BY A MUMMY

whoa shit I want to be just like these shirtless weird repellent dudes

It’s so hard to have a reasonable conversation about AI, because people refuse to see the massive upsides of job elimination, higher electrical bills, hard drive shortages, poisoning black people in Memphis, and an economy where a handful of pedos with bad hair control your life

4K tv’s are made to display generic mutlicolored curlicued shapes. the more abstract the shapes are the more 4K it is

If was an Olympic figure skater, I would simply not fall.

not sure why we’re still letting the Little St. James Class lecture us about anything

i am normal and can be trusted with the human coinstar 💫

this week’s cursed object on Friday The 13th: The Series is so fuckin funny: a wood chipper that pays out the worth of whichever person you feed it, in cash

hey baby you wanna hear me say a bunch of sentences about myself???

it brings me no pleasure to report that Sam Lake is going to jail for the sequence in Alan Wake 2 were like 3 dozen enemies attack you at once on a beach

all kinds of things exist in the world, if you know to look for them

People have told me my whole life that humans have an evil nature. That we are inherently selfish and sinful. This isn’t true, and my evidence for it is that actually evil people will use our instinct to help each other against us.

this show is about space police that use energy weapons that can create anything they want to exist badly enough and its logo is like *fragmaster voice* yeah. lanterns

Bluesky has drafts now but it’s just conscripting people into discourse wars

I wish I could come up with three words as brutal as the first three words in this synopsis

“Are you a good enough person to vote for a very bad person?” does seem to put the onus in the wrong place

I just don’t know why you’d tell anyone you’re gonna vote for them unconditionally even if it’s true

fuck it I am finally gonna watch Robocop (2014) I hate being alive anyway

grandma's hiding something...

now that Valentines Day is over all the cool people are allowed to do love stuff again. the normies were taking it up and making it cringe all day

when I see propaganda I’m like “oh this is obviously a biased opinion. I think I will draw my own conclusions on this subject, thank you very much”

gm. you are all my Valentines

if I found out the planet was about to be destroyed by a comet i’d probably still post about it

🤗

I’m sick and it’s Valentines Day and that’s too many things to be whiney about at once imo

Happy Valentines Day from the union organizing mother with incredible 3 second powers

Ask and you shall receive

this Valentines Day, I’d like to do a special shoutout … to women

can you imagine how disappointed you’d be if you knew nothing about this book and only picked it up for this particular cover

me waking up every day like

gm. you are all my Valentines

"You're gonna punch me?" "Yeah." "Then you're gonna get in trouble for that." "Okay."

you know what? fuck you *condenses your soup even further*

me and the Hat Man were in a band in New Jersey in the mid 2000’s and he was a pretty huge douchebag

What the beer in my freezer sees

Suburban wine moms will really be like "you believe in voting? that pales in effectiveness to my strategy, firebombing a concentration camp" and then very effectively firebomb a concentration camp

playing stupid games and winning smart prizes for distinguishing gentlemen

and if you threw an orgy invited everyone you knew you would see the biggest dick would be from me and the balls attached would say "thank you for being a friend"

"Tried to" Sir, what am I looking at

just imagine how powerful and hot id be if i took care of myself in literally any way

(red-faced, streaked with tears) I AM SO POWERFUL

driving past the Love Shack to the Fuck Hut

if i was the furtive pygmy i would not be so easily forgotten. it would not have gone down like that

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This remains the most quotable line in a Marvel film by a pretty large degree www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-5p...