*sexting* Hah! Gross

having finally achieved almost everything I wanted to in life I finally cross off my last item on the list: a Scrooge McDuck vault full of my entire fortune in gold coins. I dive in headfirst and cave my skull into a fine gelatin

having finally achieved almost everything I wanted to in life I finally cross off my last item on the list: a Scrooge McDuck vault full of my entire fortune in gold coins. I dive in headfirst and cave my skull into a fine gelatin

I like how the NYT is preemptively romanticizing a time when rich criminals were not held accountable to ensure nobody is. Every fucking day in one way or another, they tell us every day they're all criminals. All the rich, all of capitalism, all it wants is to lie, cheat, steal and abuse.

I’m so leftist my skin fuckin sucks

the nuggets hit different when they’re shaped like a dinosaur

watching Night Flight like “oh hey the video for Taco’s Putting On The Ritz Ive never seen this oh, that’s. thats blackface”

hm, yes, I am hugely interested in “replacing cognition”, thank you

today’s “Hell Zone Feature” is a Christopher Walken action vehicle that apparently uh exists called “McBain” (1991)

scheming up ways to maximize shareholder value

did you forget? that I was hot. very sad for you, tbh

So you’re telling me time has passed at a rate of one year per year for many years and young people are unfamiliar with aspects of culture and technology you grew up with? That’s crazy.

having nostalgia for the bygone child molestation days of yore is WILD

eating half an uncooked kielbasa like a banana

just saw an entirely separate method for breaking out of the boundaries in an entirely different way lol. kinda seems like they did not test this level out very thoroughly before dropping it

what if I just quit? I mean. I would probably die. but what IF

having a fat cock isn't enough these days, you also have to have a fat soul

what’s the old saying? “go anti-Woke, you’re probably a pedophile”

I thought Hunter S. Thompson made up adrenochrome to sound hard

I bet popping feels good as hell for the corn

pretty fucked up how all the antiwoke people are in a big group chat talking about fucking children, imo

2nd most Bluesky-ass reply to the ketchup thread

GOOD MORNING COFFEE ACHIEVERS

they already figured how to break out of bounds on the Times Square map in Marvel Rivals and anyway I found the Hot Topic

NYT: ahhh crud. We can’t print those. Too much typos

No dummy, Dr. Pepper restores FATIGUE. You use Coco Rico for Mana. *pinching the bridge of my nose* OH my god dude, Health is restored with Sangria Señorial. This is like day one shit at the College of Winterhold.

just became a member of SAG (Stupid Assholes Guild)

It's INCREDIBLY fun. Also, make sure to see the music video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=61JB...

ok I’m actually gonna watch this I have been slacking

ok just hung out for a little bit in the new ridiculous Marvel Rivals 100-person Time Square lobbies and I’m declaring them good. did a like dance with like a dozen other Star Lords and then built a giant ramp with like six other Groots

Rip and tear until it is done? No, shred and grind until it is fun, dude 🙂🤙

soup of the day: cum

Cheers reboot where Norm walks in and everyone is like "Nor-" and then a huge gasoline truck hits the bar and everyone horrifically dies in a nightmarish conflagration The rest of the show is about all their families dealing with their sudden deaths, it's a corny drama ala this is us

Woke has made it so that you can not even create a backing beat that contains a sample of someone shouting “woo!” anymore

wish the Blues Traveller guy was on here so I could ask him how many of Roseanne’s racist conspiracy theories he agreed with onset 😔

this reminded me of the time in the shitty 90’s Fantastic Four cartoon when they were fighting Galactus and Richard Grieco showed up as Ghost Rider with zero preamble, blasted him in the face with the Penance Stare, then was like “well, goodbye everyone”

“I signed on to brutally beat and murder people with impunity, this isn’t fair, abloo bloo blooooooooo, ablooooooo bloooo bloooooooooo”

BLACKC1.BMF

every action movie should have a toy line and a cartoon series for children and an 8-bit platforming video game

the guy at the gas station where I occasionally buy Mountain Dew applauded when I walked in wearing my zebra print tracksuit????

saw an ad for a vacuum that was like “this is the CARPET SOUL SUCKER it will SUCK the SOUL out of your carpet” and I was just like ok. several problems with this:

sending humbert humbert a 100% supportive email so badly written he turns himself in

especially the R-rated ones

every action movie should have a toy line and a cartoon series for children and an 8-bit platforming video game

CLAIM: The government is run by a secret society of pedophiles RATING: FALSE. This society is in no way a secret

KMC13.BMF

bluesky mods will ban you for having a crush on me, it's in the ToS that i'm not allowed to find love

oh sorry Lurch are we ruining your shitposting